marriage help: The pill has absolutely ruined my relationship with my husband.

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The pill has absolutely ruined my relationship with my husband.

We don’t want to have children yet because we have very little money, but my husband doesn’t trust condoms, so we thought the pill would be a great idea. I got so many side effects from them though: The first type made me constantly angry/in tears and gave me horrible migraines, and the second made me feel numb and incredibly depressed! Both caused alot of fights between us, we tried going without sex for a few months but we faught like crazy then too. I don’t know could my marriage survive if I kept trying the pill. Maybe I just haven’t found the right one yet. But maybe while trying to find it it will destroy our marriage… I also heard that most side effects go away after three months but is that only minor side effects? and those two more months could be the end of us.
Has anyone any idea what we could do?

This open post was written 4 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 411, 8, 8 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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partlythere 2 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 2 weeks ago (23 minutes after post)

my personal experience with the pill has been as awful as yours. i tried lots of different brands and dosages over about 3 years. there wasnt a single one that didn’t cause me to act erratically, over-emotionally, and quite frankly i was behaving like a psycho. at one point i went on antidepressants because i thought there was something wrong with me. but of course that only messed me up even more.

my sister had it worse. it caused her to suffer from extreme migraines, a few times she had paralysis down one side of her body. she went to hospital and they even did a spinal tap on her and couldnt figure out what the problem was. in the end she just cut out the pill and the migraines went away.

look, it sounds like im exaggerating, but i assure you this is all true. i’m not religious or pro life, i have been sexually active for more than five years, i’m a young woman in a western country.

in order to work, the pill changes your body’s natural hormones. people don’t often realise that hormones control much more than just your fertility cycle. mood is the big one–hormones impact your mood in a huge way which is just one of the reasons why the pill makes you feel really emotional and crazy!!

my advice to you is to ask your doctor about other methods. i had a very understanding boyfriend who agreed to use condoms rather than cut out being intimate altogether. but everyone is different. you’re not the only person who has trouble on the pill.

Help me with: I just want to do a bit of a rant here everyone!

jessica0909 0 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 2 weeks ago (32 minutes after post)

i also have had trouble too. i ended up taking myself off of the pill because it was so bad. i felt terrible for those people around me. i now am on the depo shot which isn’t the greatest for me but i found that the headaches have stopped and the emotional roller coster that i was on ended. i think sometimes you have to try different things in order to find what works for you. what works for one might not work for another. deffinately talk to your doctor and find some other options.

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Anonymous #
4 months, 2 weeks ago (33 minutes after post)

there are new forms of birth control that should cause any mood swings, like spermicide gel, foam, cream, film, there is also the vaginal ring, there are implantable devices that can be used. i hope this helps you

Victoria Sponge 5 #
Fritwell, K2, GB | 4 months, 2 weeks ago (41 minutes after post)

My bf begged me too come off mine I was so erratic, look into your other options like the injection, implant, patches, coil

Help me with: Great words of advice

Jubilee 1 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 2 weeks ago (50 minutes after post)

what do you mean your huband doesn’t trust them? it doesn’t seem fair that the burden is on you when it is clearly so difficult.

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thisis_min 2 #
An Unknown Location | 4 months, 2 weeks ago (1 day, 16 hours after post)

i got pregnant while i was on two different types of the pill with my oldest it was orthotricylclene and my youngest YAZ lol the baby that i am expecting now was the only one we actually planned so i guess i trust a condom more than the pill

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carijmac #
An Unknown Location | 1 month, 1 week ago (3 months, 1 week after post)

Dear Partlythere,

What you are experiencing is real. Birth control fluctuates your hormones and thus ‘who you are’. Your hormones create happiness, sadness, anxiousness, depression, anger, and any other emotion you may be feeling right now. You may even see yourself acting in such a way that surprises you, like you’re seeing yourself in the third person. Depression, anger, fatigue, restlessness, empty, hungry, sadness…it’s all true and it’s real.

Please sit down with your significant other and tell them that condoms, when used correctly (”perfect use”) can prevent pregnancy up to 98%. Your chances of getting pregnant while NOT on birth control and NO condom are —> 83% — ON YOUR FIRST TRY. So he needs to seriously consider putting a condom on and save you the pain and suffering of dealing with your pill’s side effects - the effects that YOU have to deal with EVERYDAY. He only has to deal with the condom only when you two are intimate. Honestly, he sounds pretty selfish to me.

You also have other choices: look up “non-hormonal birth control” via Google and there you can find info on sponges, diaphragms, female condoms, spermicide, etc. These modes of birth control will not alter your mental state.

But like I said, please speak with your significant other. His unwillingness to compromise on something of this magnitude (meaning: your well being and life together vs. his pleasure principle) is something significant and should be given a considerable amount of thought.

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coffee.obses 1 #
An Unknown Location | 1 month ago (3 months, 2 weeks after post)

carj why did you write a comment to partlythere and not the person who’s actually asking for help?

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The pill has absolutely ruined my relationship with my husband.

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