Love help: I’ve been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 3 months and - Help.com

“and right now he isn’t what i need. “

If that is how you truly feel, than break it off. It would be a lie to yourself and to him if you kept going on with him knowing that you want more for yourself.

It might be hard, and you probably dont want to hurt him - but thats what happens when someone breaks up with the other. The dumpee gets hurt (the dumper hurts too, but the dumpee is hurt AND rejected so it feels worse)

But he is a big boy and he will move on like we all do when someone breaks up with us. It would be worse to stay with him knowing that he isn’t really what you want. I’m sure if you tell him years from now instead of right now, it will hurt him even more than it would if you were to just be honest with him.

If you’re not 100% happy, it might be time for a break from the relationship, not a complete break up. Then you can analyze and try to figure what you want from this relationship and where you want it to go.
I think you want to see other people but just don’t want to come out and say it, you want somebody else here to say it for you.

Consider carefully. You don’t want to be 30 and alone and kicking yourself for dumping the perfect guy for no reason.

I was in a somewhat similar situation to you not long ago, except my boyfriend was depressed as well which made things worse. I am 19 and he was also five years older than me at 24. He was also a great boyfriend, very loving and caring, someone I could rely on. We had some things in common but we were very different people. I am quite a strong willed person and easily expressive whereas he was always more timid than me. We clashed on some things, but most of the time it was just ‘fine’, you know? In the end I ended up breaking up with him. Not only was his depression causing me to feel lonely at times, but I figured that I was young and although he was a realy good guy and a nice boyfriend, I didn’t want to settle down so early for somebody who truly didn’t captivate me. We got back together briefly after a stint where he landed up in hospital because I wanted to be there for him, but now we are clear that our relationship is over.
I think you should do the same. Cell says to be careful because you may end up 30 and lonely. I on the other hand say life is too short and there is nothing wrong with seeking a truly passionate relationship with somebody more compatible. If not for the longevity of it, just to know how it feels.

I agree with both Pepsi and Cell. Going along with what Pepsi said, I was in a 3 year relationship when I was 14 and he was 17. Mt senior year I broke it off because I wanted to see other people. I ended up dating this guy, who was a year younger than me for a year. It was the most passionate relationship I have ever been in. He was so romantic and I had butterflies in my stomach EVERYDAY for a solid year. It was wonderful. But there is always a down side…my parents hated him, my friends hated him, he was a manipulator and possessive. I lost myself when dating him because I was so caught up in the emotions. We never had a happy medium. We were either loving each other desperately, or fighting with one another. I never fought so much with anyone in my life. It sounds very appealing for the most part, and I still miss feeling that way, but having a relationship based on passion like that really hits hard and makes you forget who you are. You want someone who compliments you and ever once in a while gives you that passion, because that’s not meant to be felt every single day. But maybe you do need to spice things up a bit and see what happens.

Now, move on and enjoy being single for a while. Don’t rush into another relationship.

That’s good to hear :) Good on you for making that hard decision nad following through with it. It’s definitely tough! And I agree with nick, enjoy singledom for a while and just relax. Take care :)