Sometimes..I just want to give up on everything..(long post.)
I’m only 19 years old and I have all of these bills. I hate it. I don’t know what to do. Then my brother throws it in my face that he has to support me. He also says I don’t ever appreciate the fact that he helps me, although I do appreciate it. I just can’t handle it all anymore. I suffer from depression because of all of this stuff that has built up over the past 3 1/2 years.
When I was 16 everything was decent. My parents were your average middle class family and I thought I had a bright future ahead of me. I thought I’d be able to go to college and my parents would help me through it all. They would provide me with a car and money when I need it, ya know, like every other normal 18 or 19 year old. I was ready for it all.
Then my dad got hurt at work which lead to financial mishaps since he was unable to work and we all know that unemployment only goes so far when you’re supporting a family of 6. Things just got incredibly rough. My mom hasn’t had a real job since she was 16 (she’s 50 now) so she didn’t know where to start. She doesn’t drive as well which makes it even harder.
So a year goes by with both of my parents unemployed and struggling to keep clothes on not only their kids backs but their own as well. I had gone through my junior year and was moving onto my senior year. I had gotten in some trouble during the summer and they sent me away to stay with my grandmom. Well my grandmom didn’t have a huge house and she was ill so her brother was coming to stay with her. So I had to move in with my aunt.
I moved in with my aunt but her house had driven me crazy because I felt like no matter how much I would do for her, it was never appreciated. Her teenager son would make messes and I would be expected to clean up after him. I put up with it for a few months though.
Then my parents moved down south to where I was. They moved in with my other aunt and I wanted to be with them. So I spoke to aunt #2 and she said it was fine. I packed my stuff for the 897809 time in 3 years and moved in with my family and aunt. I was not told of the hidden fees that my aunt was charging me for though.
I’m 18 years old by this time and I am being charged rent plus utilities, my cell phone (since it was under her name), plus other things that she had purchased for me and told me not to worry about.
Well at this time I am just about to break down. I hated my life and said screw it and my older brother and I were about to get our own place. (he had a really good job and I had just gotten a minimum wage paying job.)
Well my parents find out about this and they get all upset because we were bailing on them. They hated staying with our aunt and didn’t want us to just leave them there with her.
So they want us to find a place that my brother and I could afford and have them live with us as well.
Well we couldn’t find anything and had to leave them behind. We found a decent size 2 bedroom cabin for an affordable price. Well we lived there for a while and then somehow my parents managed to move in with us which drove me even more insane. So my brother and I leave and come back home to where we grew up.
My parents had finally come into some money and my dad has gotten a part time job. So they’re doing alright.
However, I am falling apart. I can’t take not being able to go to school and having so many bills. I don’t think I’m ready to be independent yet. The bills just keep stacking up and I have no time to be a normal 19 year old. I don’t even have time for a girlfriend! I hate it. I just want to be normal…I don’t want to be depressed and have all of these bills. Sometimes I think I need a psychologist. No one understands it seems like. I have no one to relate to because all of my friends have it so easy.
They don’t have to pay for rent, electric, cable/internet, car payments/car care & gas, insurance, cell phone, plus have a tiny bit of recreational money. No, all they have to pay for is maybe, MAYBE, their cell phone and gas.
I just don’t know what to do about it all. I don’t have benefits so I can’t get a psychologist and my best friend just tells me to stop whining, it’s life. This isn’t life though, not for someone my age, none of my friends deal with this, so….yeah.
Brief look into my life…sorry if it bored you.
Since writing this post aimlessly may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. aimlessly is a verified member, has been around for 4 years, 4 months and has 24 posts and 109 replies to their name.
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