Love help: I am a black girl (18) and I recently met this white guy(20). - Help.com

Wht that white guy saying?

He still wants to be with me. He is willing to wait for me but I dont know how long he will have to wait since everyone is against this!

wow hunny i’m so sorry for you…. try talking with your dad about dating and that you’ve become a young lady and you will be careful. as for HIS family, let them think what ever they hell they wanna think=

You are 18. Be honest with your father about your wants and needs, but, as long as you are living at home, you owe it to your father to respect his wishes. Get a good education, then you can get a good job, move out on your own and live life by your own rules. Screw up your education now and you will be living by someone elses rules for the rest of your life.

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a man who built high walls around his house so that his daughter would not be able to see his neighbor’s son. The neighbor’s father also did things to prevent his son from meeting the girl next door, and one day, they both climed a tree and were able to see eachother. They ended up falling in love, and they told their parents, but when their parents were happy, instead of being furious like the kids had thought they would be, the son and the daughter were confused. It turns out that the parents had wanted the two to marry this whole time. A few days later, the kids ended up getting into a fight, and they decided not to marry.

ravie12_0 wrote:
He still wants to be with me. He is willing to wait for me but I dont know how long he will have to wait since everyone is against this!

You love him, right? So, why do you care abt others? its u r life…
but, make sure, you completely know him and understand will before committing for something…

Wait for what? You’re 18… will dad can kick your butt out for dating a white guy? Do you want to hurt your dad like that? Do what you want but you might alienate both family’s fast. If you really love each other just move away from them so you don’t have to put up with the bs.

Actually my dad doesn’t know he is white. He just doesn’t want medating period. My sister is 22 and she doesn’t tell him when she dates because he just wont hear of it. Last night he said keep ur man and get out of my house or do what I say!!

ok well how long until you can move out? why dont you ask your dad about it straight up………be like dad “I am 18 and I know you do not like the idea of me dating, but I dont want to be alone my whole life. So at som epoint I need to start dating. And right now I have a kind man that treats me well that would like to date me. Wouldnt that be a good place to start.”

So is the man being white going to make it worse? Actually it sounds like it can’t get worse. Maybe your dad is just afraid you will get pregnant and he will have to take care of it. I’d move the hell out fast if I were you, if your sister isn’t suupposed to date at 22 you have it weird there..

or tell him you like women….. and then say just kidding this is my bf and introduce them :)

Yeah that’s a good one. My step daughter threatened to go gay if we didn’t let her date when she was 17… it was her mom’s choice. I let let our daughter date at 15.

see its a proven method :)

I thought about moving out for so long. But the truth is I am only 18, I just started college and since I am from Jamaica I have almost no family here to take me in. Talking to him will make things worst than they are. I guess he thinks any guy is wrong unless he picks him.If i move out, where would I go? how would i support myself and go to school? I really care for this guy and like i said could see my life with him but is it worth losing my family and maybe my education? At the same time is my father’s stubbornness worth losing what could be the love of my life? Can u see why I am so lost!!

does your college have dorms?

wow, personal question but do you have a mom you could talk to about this? try to get him to ease up a bit.. plus you can just refuse to date anyone he picks. tell him if he cant be reasonable then you cant …. fit fire with fire , hes your dad and you his daughter if something like this is going cause such a stigma in the relationship then there wasnt much of one there in the first place

My mother is living in Jamaica and she usually just agrees with what he says. And yes I am almost positive this will ruin our relationship bcuz we really just started having one six years ago and it’s been hard building one. I do love my dad but we have a hard time getting along becuz we r both hard headed. My brother, 26, bought a motorcycle without my dad knowing. He got into a minor accident while practicing to ride it and had to go to the hospital so my dad found out. My dad was furious and threatened to fire him if the did not sell it (my brother works for my dad’s company). Long story short my brother no longer has a bike. Is this a lost cause or what?!?

Dr. Ralph wrote:
Yeah that’s a good one. My step daughter threatened to go gay if we didn’t let her date when she was 17… it was her mom’s choice. I let let our daughter date at 15.

I would have told her go gay and would have waited to see what she did. Don’t give in to threats.

Until all of you, your siblings and you can actually become independent and move out, you are under your dad’s auspices and his “protection” if you will. I don’t see how much longer he can hold on to controlling all of you unless you guys depend on his money and he is your meal ticket for survival.

do all your siblings still live in your fathers home?

I have six siblings but only 4 of us live with my dad. It’s a big house and we dont have to worry about bills and all that stuff so we can save for our own future but right now, i really wonder if it is worth it!!

I really dont think it sounds like it is….. why dont you and your sister get an apartment… share rent…. go to goodwill and get some furniture, lots of pots and pan are on sale everywhere right now before college starts, t…..try to live on your own you know, I bet you will enjoy life alot more. Give it a try and if your dad really is sad that you will move out maybe he will be willing to discuss meeting in the middle