This post left anonymously
He likes me, but doesn’t want a relationship?
I met this guy who moved here from Europe three years ago. If we’re not busy, our extra time is spent together. We live together, and it was his choice to invite me to be his roommate. Now, we both have our own bedrooms, and beds, and completely separate lifestyles, but he goes to every extent that he can to ensure that we fall asleep together at night, and makes sure that I know I’m the only girl in his life right now.
There’s a four year age gap between us, so obviously have very different views on what a relationship is.
He wants all of the benefits of a relationship without actually having a relationship, and I respect myself WAY too much to be put in a compromising position, especially since I feel like I’m falling in love with him, and also feel that it’s one-sided. I refuse to have sex with him, simply because I never have, and I’m not losing it to someone who doesn’t return my feelings. Saving myself from the hurt that may come later on.
Aside from the fact that I feel like he’s using me, I also feel like he’s falling for me.
Even though he works 50+ hours a week, he wakes up early and makes me breakfast, we cook dinner for one another, he told my parents that he will ‘protect their little girl no matter what’ (and thus far, he’s done a good job), if I’m sad, he’s not content until I’m feeling okay again, and vise versa. He calls me throughout the day, whenever he has a chance, just to let me know he’s thinking about me and that he misses me, he says things to me that even boyfriends I’ve dated for 6+ months never had the guts to say, he knows my head inside and out, and has tried his very best to be good to me.
He warned me before all of this that he’s a bad person because he thinks I’m too nice and blindly naive to realize for myself, and that I’m only capable of seeing the good in people. I know everyone is flawed to some extent, but a bad person? Maybe I am blindly naive.
I’ve spoken to him about a relationship, and he says he’s just more comfortable being single. Why? Because then he can have the best of both worlds?
Well, I told him I’m not up for that. You can’t take half of me and leave the other half in the dust–you either want it all, or you don’t, so I told him that if I do meet someone that I like, I’m not going to hesitate to keep my dating options open, seeing as I AM single.
He got extremely jealous, ignored me and avoided me at all cost for a few days, but is now back to his normal self.
I don’t know what to do. I feel like he has a chokehold on my heart, and maybe I have one on his too, but if that’s the case, WHAT is the big deal? Why can’t we be together?
It can’t be because he’s afraid of getting hurt, because he’s risking that now more so than he would be by being in a relationship.
All I want is some kind of commitment that makes me unafraid to kiss him and be with him. Without a genuine commitment, I feel like I’m setting myself up for heartache.
What do I do? :/
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
Post Tags (0)
This post has no tags. Please, help out and add some! (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)
show him what you wrote here, and then i suggest you carry on as you are and let him make yhe choice thats right for him based on what hes read plus 4 years age gap is nothing to be concerned about
What I meant by the four year age gap concern is the differing level of sexual experiences.
I have morals, I respect myself, I dated a guy for a year who never even tried to put his hands on me because he respected me, and that’s what I’m used to.
Now this guy comes along, and all of the sudden, I have someone attempting to do these things with me because it’s what he’s used to.
Compared to an eighteen year old, someone who’s twenty-two generally has a whole different world of experiences under their belt.
He sounds just like me. I like this girl a lot, but there’s no way in hell I will ever go into a relationship with her.
Why, Pongo? Why won’t you date her?
I just want to know, because I feel not good enough, and it really ******* hurts falling asleep in his arms wondering whether or not I’m only here until he finds someone who does give him the same butterflies in his stomach that he gives me in mine.
I’m 18, he’s 22.
He is a very caring guy. It wasn’t until recently that he started to try having a sexual relationship with me, and we’ve lived together/slept in the same bed for almost three months now.
I just…I’m not willing to do that. Is it that hard to commit?
If it is that hard, is it because he’s using me?
I mean, if there’s one thing I learned, it’s that a guy will not go out of his way to do these things unless he a.)REALLY wants sex and is extremely patient, or b.) returns the girls feelings.
Europeans and Americans have very different ideas of what a relationship is. Don’t expect him to start acting like your boyfriend if you sleep with him. You’ve waited this long don’t lose it casually…
I’ve been thinking about that, actually. I asked one of my good friends who is originally from London what their view on a relationship is, and she said that mostly, if they like someone enough to consider a relationship with them, they will try and have sex with that person.
Unfortunately, I prefer to stand by my American view of a relationship, and considering he’s been here for three years and is now a citizen, I think he should learn.
Don’t worry. I’m still able to think rationally about the situation, and I don’t plan on losing it to him just to be in a relationship. I like him, but not to the point where it makes me blind.
‘Cause if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it…. maybe you should introduce him to Beyonce.
Bring a boyfriend home and then serenade him that song? :P
sorry sounds to me he will shag you then leave you.the reason why hes so close and open cuz u both live together. n cuz of that i suppose he expects like a couple, sex is a yes yes. why have sex with anyother wen theres the one u live with? sorry my bets is play it good, cuz from wat i learnt those who want to be”single” yet have “someone” are realy gonna end up as **** buddies. he works 50 plus hours? how the hell r u gonna go out n date him?trust me u all not only deserve some loving/affection but to be taken out. I was a stupidly naive idiot who was convinced that the ex would keep his promises.and so after 1 year and 5 turns out i was used all cuz in my head i got the idea he would fall for me. BUT NO he wanted to be single yet still have sex with me with “no commitment” e.g phoning you up?visiting you?taking you out?u knw what a couple do to get to know eachother.i relised he changed to wat stated above after i agve my virginity.before that he was proper giving me atention.
so love its up u to really.my exs mind :why pay for sex or have random sex when u can have it for free n someone whos falling for you which means theyll agree to do anything
I also have almost the same problem, and I don’t know what to do.
we have known each other for more than half year. I told him that I like him, and he also said he likes me too, but don’t want to be in a relationship at least for now. He wants to think about what he wants to do with his life or something….
He is so nice to me, respects me, and always there for me when I am down….
and my feeling toward him grows everyday but at the same time I an suffering to wait. I am worried he doesn’t like me anymore or he might like somebody else.
I can’t even sleep at night (I know it sounds stupid!!! but can’t help)
Its sad….. so you wrote this 2 month ago…. so what happened now??
All of you ladies need to quit worrying about some guy. If he doesnt want a relationship or you, then drop him and leave. No man has any right to make you feel inadequate. And there is nothing wrong with a fun buddy, but you have to go into it knowing there is nothing more. At 18 you should be worrying about other stuff other than some guy. And if anything use him until you find someone else.
I have been dating this guy for 7 months now. I really like him and I’m a virgin. I’m 18 and he’s 25.he claims he’s not ready to be in a relationship right now. He says eventually he will be. I don’t know what to do because i really like him and wanna be with him. I’m worried I might be falling in love with him. He seems to be very honest with me. I have met his family as even slept over his house a few times. I won’t give myself to him unless we’re committed. What should I do? Should I walk away? I don’t mind waiting. But what if I’m waiting for something that is never going to happen. I feel like his mom likes me a lot too because she invited me over for thanksgiving. I met all of his immediate family even his grandmother.
Oh and he also has slept with another women and told me it was just sex. He claims he doesn’t want to date anyone else other than me. I asked him if he had the opportunity to sleep with another women again would he take it and he told me yes. He says he just wants to take things slow until and if he’s ready. But when I’m with him I just feel as though I might be in love with him already. We talk on the phone everyday and see each other atleast once or twice a week because he works long hours at work and I’m in school. I know he doesn’t love me. But he has dating someone for a year and half who he loved but she didn’t wanna be with him and she went back to her ex. I’m not sure if he really doesn’t love me or he’s trying to act like he doesn’t.
He dose not love u.If a person loves u he will never try to heart u.As u said that he cares about u a lot.I think he is not.If someones love u and care 4 u then he can feel ur feelings that u want him ur life partner.And he has to understand that u r heart.He has to know that u want him just 4 urs.But he did’nt so i dont think so he loves u.I have just one sujestion 4 u.Actually i m giving u the sujestion bcz i know that u r very serious about him.So the sujestion is Just Believe in ALLAH and have a pray from heart.And pray that if he is a right person 4 u so HE will give u ,otherwise gives u tolerance that u can live without him.U have another choise and that is to pray to ALLAH that u cant live without him so HE gives u that person at any cost.But i dont think so thats a gud pray.Bcz ALLAH knows better then us.I think ALLAH can only helps u.BEST OF LUCK
Stay friends with him AT ALL cOSTS.
Let him be the one to express his feelings first. The moment you do express your feelings first and he is not ready he will start pulling away. Let him be in control so U can be assured of his intentions with you.
Im kind of in the same boat. I started sleeping with this guy when he had a gf but i didnt know at the tym. Now hes single and im still seeing him and go up2 his quite a lot and we dont always have sex. He now lets me lie on his chest and sit and cuddle him which he didnt let me do before. I really think im falling for this guy. Hes 27 and im 19 and he makes me laff so much, we have so much in common. Hes always there when i need him and he said if anything happened to me with regards to his gf (apparently shes after me) that he would go mentak and that he really did care for me. What do i do?
I’m in a similar situation. I’ve been seeing this guy while he was still with his gf. He kept saying soon to be ex, so I kept waiting. Recently they broke up and we’re now dating. He’s made it pretty clear that he “can’t” commit to me yet he does’t want to lose me. He doesn’t want me to date anyone else, but he doesn’t want to enter another relationship yet. However, he wants to have sex. We’ve done everything but vaginal intercourse. I won’t push him to be commited to me. It would suck to be in a committed relationship only to have the person cheat on you (since he’s already shown signs of being the cheating type). I refuse to give up my virginity to someone not worthy. It should be a fun experience that doesn’t leave you depleted, nor full of regret. I need the security of a committed relationship. So I’m waiting. Waiting for the man who’s in love with me as I am with him. Waiting for the man who wont push and pressure me to do something I’m obviously not ready for. Waiting for the man who wants to be with me and ONLY me!! I’m not sure if the guy I’m seeing is that man or if he’ll ever be, but until I’m sure, then he can NEVER own me. So I’ve made up my mind to date him and just have fun, but no commitment, no intercourse. It’s about self respect and regarding yourself on a higher platform. We deserve to be love, honored and respected. There’s nothing wrong with having fun, but have limits. Hold a piece of yourself back, that’s what the guys do. We’ve held on this long, let’s keep waiting. A guy will only respect you as much as you respect yourself. Have a life apart from him. Keep up your interests and hobbies. Isn’t life just too short to waste on some guy who doesn’t want to be committed to you?
I just met a guy, i’m 22 and he’s 35 and he just got out of a relation ship. He claims he would never go back to his ex, n really likes me, n probably would see himself with me later on the road, but doesn’t wanna break my heart n rush into things. I wanna date him but I don’t wanna lose my time either.
I am in the same situation. I met a guy at work. He is 32 and im 22. We know each other for two months now. At first, he was teasing me and all that always at work. We went to see a movie together as friends. Then he started calling me over the phone and tells me that he likes me. We kissed and hugged but never had sex because I don’t want to give in since we’re not together in a relationship. He said he wants to see where this road will lead us to and one thing more he wants to keep things between us which bothers me a lot. it makes me think that he is ashamed of me or that i’m never enough for him to be his girlfriend. I cant be friends with benefits with him since i care for myself and I dont want to be just used. what does this man think? why is he like that?
me tooo am in the same situation.we know each other for a year… he tells me he miss me, that he really likes me, he kisses me on my forehead more then he kissed me on my lips but never had sex i just know whaat do i mean to him?? :( he wants to know my feeling towards him but when i told him he never replied and he just said everything will be fine soon but now he tells me tht he is just not the right person for me, and he said am onli a special fren… itz so so painfull what does guys like this actually want? why would they wanna do thiz??
Basically, men suck. I have been hurt by a man doing all the same things. Let him go. Worry about you. Life is too short. He will keep you around and string you along until he finds something “better”— and then he will treat the next one the same way. Over and over again. You deserve to be cherished.
I knew this guy for 4 years, just friends. We dated, but his ex came back into his life and he broke my heart. I still stayed a friend to him and we stilled lived with eachother at his moms after that. His ex ended up moving and didnt change… however we didnt get back together after that… He says that he loves and cares about me way to much, and doesnt want to get back together because he doesnt want to lose me as a friend. I love him very much, and this is very hard. We decided to get an one bedroom apartment together, and we have the same friendship… we have sex, go out on dates and take care of eachother. He isnt seeing any other girl, and Im not seeing any other guy. He tells me all the time that he will eventually start dating around and he isnt sure if he wants to do another year lease with me, or get his own place instead. He is the best friend I have, and I love him, I dont want to lose him….. Im so confused on whats going on.
poor girl…..he doesn’t like you at all! he is selfish, self-centered. he doesn’t care for you at all!!!! you know it already. use your common sense. leave him right now and never look back. live your life before it’s too late. you have to deal with your obsession, that’s it. it is not real, not true. wake up.
wake up. he doesn’t like you, or care for you at all! he is not real, not true. he doesn’t like you at all but just playing you and not let you go. he is selfih, immature, self-centered foolish man. you have to deal with your obsession, that’s it. use your common sense. leave him right now and never look back if you are still with him.
i have a similar problem. i’ve known this guy for 3 years but we only started being friends this past year. lately we started flirting with each other and i started to really REALLY like him. i know he liked me for a long time as he asked me out nearly a year ago and i had refused and lately he asked me out again.as i started to like him i accepted. but he made it clear that he’s scared of relationships and close to marriage commitments because he has 7 years of college ahead and he doesn’t want to loose his friends. i told him that there is no need to loose your friends in a relationship. he said he wanted it as an on and off thing. i told him i want dating and that obviously i dont love him just yet. i want to date and i want the relationship to grow. he said that if hes dating me he obviously wont see other girls. im scared and confused because i have been hurt badly before. i want to date and to move forward, to be in a stable relationship, to know where i stand and not marrige yet, obviously, im only 20. i just dont want to go ahead and fall in love with a guy who will never commit at any level. the anxiety weighs upon me all day long. im a person who likes to know where i stand and where im heading. i know i should give him a chance since weve only been on 1 date together but i really dont want to be played and get hurt again and fool around. its just not who i am. but in a way he is not fooling around cause he likes me and said that he wants to date me for my character not for the other stuff. Please, what should i do? my previos heart brakes leave me anxious and paranoid all the time and i get sick with worry!
I know. What your going through I’m kinda going through that my self ! Men do want the best of both worlds It sucks but he’s got to relize that your not going wait for him for ever certain because they be hurt or to far set in their ways
When a guy says “I really like you but (insert whatever excuse here)” it means that he’s emotionally unavailable to be in a committed mature relationship - not just with you but with ANYONE. He’s narcissistic, unable to tap into his own emotions, and probably really WANTS to be in a relationship badly but fears loss of his personal freedom once “expectations” involved in being an actual boy friend with commitment to you occur AND probably fears abandonment and loss. Perhaps he was in love once and got his heart broken …or perhaps he was in a relationship previously in which he felt the woman became too needy and clingy. I dunno…but anyone who wants to “take care of you” like a man who has a wife, and wants to sleep with you (sex or no sex) is a person who is attracted to you and desires closeness but is too afraid to go that step. Age btw has no regard in this case - 4 or 5 years is NOTHING and no cause of issue. What men do also like is the chase and having something no one else has had. I’m fairly certain the fact you are a virgin has quite an allure to him and men are heavily driven to have sex - biologically. I’m sure he cares about you as a friend and possibly more, but he has issues that I’m sure were there before you met him, are present now, and will be there long after you leave his life unless he can get a grip and discover why he doesn’t want to get emotionally close to anyone.
:( Same situation here , I met this guy 4 years ago and since the day I met him I thought he was really sexy and use to creep him on Myspace lol . He was my friends older brothers friend . We occasionally started seeing eachother at partys and then I finally added him to facebook and we started talking .He invited me to come hang out so I did and we had an awesome time , We just drank a little bit then he walked me an hour away to my friends while his friends were @ his house . After that we would hang out and I slept over and he tried to have sex but i didnt because I have to much self respect . We would spend halloween , new years alot of special occasions together , Ive asked him what he wants and he said hes scared of commitment I just dont get how hes always giving me kisses hugs and stuff yet he dont want to be with me he has our picture up on his display his names are even about me . We ended up having sex last week and I told him i wanted to be in a reletionship nd he said he just wants to continue being the way we are ?
he’s not going to commit. i went through the same thing with another guy (i’m 18, he’s 24) he told me he wasn’t ready tocommit fully to a relationship due to hismental problems (panic attacks etc) eventhoughpreviously he had askedme to be his gf but i said no because i thought it was too soon. yeah anyway in the end he started seeing another girl behind my back and now calls her’his lady’. he obvz wasn’t ready to commit to ME, not a relationship. i ended it with this guy yesterday and feel like a whole strain has gon its been going on for about 6 months
Ok so I have seen this guy a few time and slept with him once n talk a lot and all it seems like is he wants sex that’s all he talkes about but I want more and he says he loves me but doesn’t show it and doesn’t want a relationship Idk wat to do he doesn’t seem to understand every time we talk about it it seems to go on one ear n out the other . I think its hopeless love
I feel your sadness in all these situations. I am 49 and met a guy that moved here for work. He has been married 3 times. He is recently divorced. When we met I did all I could to not get involved with him because I knew he would be leaving when his job is finished. He wasn’t even my type, or so I thought. We have so much in common. It’s like I met the male version of myself. Things progressed and he ask me to live with him. We get along so well. He says wonderful things to me and we spend all our time together when not working. I have fallen in love with him. He has even said he has had a hard time controlling his feelings for me. He has said things to me that no one has ever said to. He has treated me like no one else. Everything is wonderful. But here come the but….. He is leaving soon to another state to a new job. I always thought he would take me with him or get a job that doesn’t involve traveling. He has talked about doing that. He has talked about a lot if things leading me to believe we would always be together. He is not taking me and says maybe our paths will cross again some day. I seriously don’t get it. Has this all been a lie and all the things he says to me means nothing? I am not sure how I feel about about any of this. I just know I need to move on and get on with my life. I am the best girl he will ever meet in his life. It’s his loss. God has something better for me.
Thank you HEMU for helping me to get my lovely partner back in my life. I am so blessed that you used a non forceful way of uniting and reuniting us. Our past, presence and future seems to have all merged into one. You told me that everyone has a compatible soul mate wether in their life or waiting to come into their lives. I am glad its my partner of old. I did not want to really go and be with someone else.. You have removed the extra baggage that has been affecting us and holding us back. THIS IS CONTECT [ i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>]
redrocktampl invited 1 user to read this post 1 year, 10 months ago.
he is sleeping with another girl its pretty obvious
I know that feeling. I like this guy, and one day he said your to jealous for me, we should stick being friends and just text and not meet . I don’t know what to do I need help also . I am a man and I don’t speak them so someone can help me please should I delete his number because I wanted a relantionship with him not bein just friends
I like this guy he said I’m not his type I’m way to jealous but I’m not . And he said just be friends but only text. What does that mean
I just want to share my testimony in fulfillment to my vow to the prophet that helped me. My name is Mrs Stephanie Vincent, i was married for 5yrs without a child i tried several pills and means but there was no outcome i went from one doctor to another all of them said different things one even confirmed that i could never bear a child.My husband who was very patience with me broke loose the day the doctor confirmed that i could never bear a child He followed other women all in the name of a child and started seeing fault in everything i did.One day i read a testimony of a woman who the husband left for another woman and how a prophet broke the spell the other woman used then i contacted the prophet with his email ( i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>) who helped me got my husband and now i am blessed with a bouncing baby boy. This is not just a story its a wonderful testimony. My advise to everyone there is that you should have faith in all you do and don’t despise your little beginning. ( i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>) that’s my email contact me if you want me to join you in prayer.
Go to Previous message | Go to Next message | Back to Messages | Full Headers
Reply Reply All Forward Forward
just want to share my testimony in fulfillment to my vow to the prophet that helped me. My name is Mrs Stephanie Vincent, i was married for 5yrs without a child i tried several pills and means but there was no outcome i went from one doctor to another all of them said different things one even confirmed that i could never bear a child.My husband who was very patience with me broke loose the day the doctor confirmed that i could never bear a child He followed other women all in the name of a child and started seeing fault in everything i did.One day i read a testimony of a woman who the husband left for another woman and how a prophet broke the spell the other woman used then i contacted the prophet with his email ( i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>) who helped me got my husband and now i am blessed with a bouncing baby boy. This is not just a story its a wonderful testimony. My advise to everyone there is that you should have faith in all you do and don’t despise your little beginning. ( i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>) that’s my email contact me if you want me to join you in prayer.
Go to Previous message | Go to Next message | Back to Messages | Full Headers
Reply Reply All Forward Forward
Post a reply
Yes I got my lover back through Ihumudumu Priest.. My wife left me six months ago. The longer she’s gone, the more I see what a jerk I was. At first, I blamed her for leaving. I told her she was ‘wrong’. In fact, I slapped Scripture on her, trying to guilt-induce her any way I could. My anger only pushed her farther away. I can’t believe the way I acted. My wife gave me chance after chance, and I ignored her.
I contacted Ihumudumu Priest and within a few minutes of speaking with him, I realized that Ihumudumu Priest was the one person whom I could completely trust.
Within 48 hours, My wife is back in my life. I can’t thank him enough and I will use Ihumudumu Priest again for further work in the future. You can contact him on i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>
I would just like to say that Prophet Iyase Osoba really does do miracles, my soulmate came to me quicker than I thought he would.
I would recommend him to any-one who needs help, and I will use i> small>(email removed) /small> /i> again for further work in the future. Bridget
How i got my husband back…
I live in Canada, and i got married four months ago. My husband and I have been living a very happy and lovely life. So as time went on, I began to notice this strange attitude that my husband was possessing. He was now going out with other girls, to the extent that he was no longer picking up my calls, and he was not even sleeping in the house anymore. I became confused and didn’t know what to do. So i became worried and stranded, that brought so many thoughts into my mind, because I have never experienced a thing like this before in my life.
So I decided to visit a spell caster, to see if he can help me out. So immediately I went to the internet, where I saw an amazing testimony of a spell caster who brought someone’s ex lover back, so I contacted him immediately and I explained to him all my problems and he told me that it will be very easy for him to solve, compare to the ones that he has done before. And he also gave me some proof to be really sure of his work, and he assured me that my husband will come back to me immediately he is through with the spell. And also he told me to put all my trust in him, and I really obeyed him. So it was 8:00 am on the next morning, when I was about going to work, when i received my husband’s call, and he told me that he was coming back home, and he apologized to me, and told me that he is very sorry for the pain that he has cost me. And after some hours later, he really came back home, and that was how we continued our marriage with lots of love and happiness, and our love was now stronger than how it were before.
then, he also told me that once my heart desire has been granted unto me that i should go and testify of his work right here on the internet. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth today as I am writing this testimony, and I want to really thank DR AZIM for bringing back my husband, and for bringing joy and love to my family.He can also cast other spells like,
spells for money
spells for getting jobs
cure for HIV aids
and many other spells
he saves marriages
CONTACT HIM NOW ON THIS EMAIL
i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>
I love you Tony
janet4 invited 1 user to read this post 6 days, 9 hours ago.
My name is miss Rose and my ex-boyfriend dumped me 8 months ago after I caught him of having an affair with someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don’t know what to do, so I visited the INTERNET for help and I saw a testimony on how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problems to him….. he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3 days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my james came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Sango SPELL TEMPLE caster, you are truly talented and gifted contact his email: i> small>(email removed) /small> /i>
Invite Others to Help
A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.