SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME.
I don’t know what to do. I’m 15 years old from texas, I messed up bad a few months back and I got an MIC (minor in consumption of alcohol) and I have 900$ in fines and there’s no where to work where I live for someone so young. I started working for my moms boyfriend doing hard hard labor in 105 degree Texas heat digging irrigation ditches, chopping down 5 foot weeds, driving T posts to build electric fence, all kinds of stuff. But I just can’t do it. I’ve blacked out once doing it and i’m afraid and it’s just miserable I’ve never done that kind of work before, and he’s a real ***hole, and only pays me 3 dollars an hour and forces me to do it because he know’s i can’t get work anywhere else. He took my guitars, my CD’s, my xbox 360, everything. He has my mom completely under control, i don’t even recognize her anymore she’s just a clone of him. And I know that it has to be against child labor laws what he is doing to me. He writes degrading condesending notes like “JAKE DO NOT GO IN HERE” on doors in my house that i’ve lived in since i was 6 years old, and writes notes like “YOUR NOT SMART ENOUGH TO USE THIS, DONT” on a water pump and I don’t even know why. I just don’t know what to do, I’m running out of time to pay my fines and since my mom doesn’t work and her boyfriend makes the money, He refuses to spend a dime on me for ANYTHING. I’ve had horrible breakouts on my skin since he won’t pay for my acne medication anymore, and it would just take too long to say all the things that i’m doing without that i’m used to having. I’m not trying to get any ones pity, and I’m not saying I have a horrible life, because i know i’ve got it a lot better than some. but I haven’t done anything all summer except work, and i hardly have any friends because i never get to hang out with them, and all the kids in my town my age drink alcohol all the time, and never have to pay for it. I just don’t know why it has to be me. I’m a good kid. I’m 15 years old and i’m in college for F’s sake. I scored a perfect score on a college level accuplacer essay exam. I make all A’s and B’s, and i know I have potential to do great things with my life but for some reason my moms boyfriend thinks i’m a dirtbag because i’m not like him (he’s a roughneck, he works on the oilfield). He thinks that I should be working 8 hours a day everyday. I don’t have a real home, my mom and her boyfriend are on speed/ice/meth whatever you want to call it(I won’t elaborate on this, but theres a lot to it and it’s killing me inside) and i can’t stand to be in that house anymore. It’s filthy so cluttered with junk you can barely walk in it and I don’t like the people that come in and out. We kind of live on a ranch, but it’s sort of in town. Granted there’s alot to do as there’s quite a bit of land, but why do I have to do it all? It’s unfair. I don’t know any other 15 year olds who know how to break a horse, drive a T post, service weedeaters and lawn mowers, dig an irrigation ditch or any of that! All the time I want to kill myself so bad, but that’s not me! I’m a happy optimistic person I just don’t know what to do about this situation i’m in. I apologize for the errors and grammer issues in this post, I’m kind of in hysterics right now. If anyone has any clue on what I should do please let me know. I just want life to be normal again. I’m not a complainer, i’ve lived in similar conditions all my life and never said a word. But I’ve barely even scratched the surface of all the things that i’ve had to deal with lately over the past year and this summer.. It was hard enough going to highschool and college at the same time, but this is unreal. I can’t handle the stress, I can’t handle being depressed. I CAN’T EVEN HANDLE THE ACNE. Someone give me an idea, anyone.. Or at the least please just email me and tell me to get over it, everyones life sucks and i need to get used to it and quit being a whiny b****. That seems to be the way things are but i dont know, i didn’t look at things that way before.. I don’t have anything to look forward to anymore. My passion was taken away from me(guitar) I havent talked to most my friends in months, and to top it off i’m covered in zits, which is the least of my problems but it sure is a hell of a topping to a **** sundae… There are so many things I want to do.. I love snowboarding, sea doo-ing, dirtbiking all that stuff, but i’ve never done any of it more than once. Why can’t I just be like the other kids with 2 parents who love them and cook them breakfast in the morning, and tell them goodmorning and ask how there day went. Most days I only eat once a day. This isn’t right, there has to be more to life than this. I completely lost faith in god a long time ago, and i’m just so alone and numb. And that I want to be dead but I don’t want to kill myself makes about as much sense as the rest of this. I long to, but deep down I know I never will cause I have to much to live for, and so much I want to do….. I shouldn’t have written this post while i’m so upset i’m not really saying what I want to say and I don’t think I’m doing a good job of explaining the situation i’m just histerical right now, this went from a need an idea to make some money post to a whine about all my problems post. THE SUMMARY: I NEED TO FIND A WAY TO MAKE 900$ IN A MONTH OR SO. THERE ARE NO JOBS IN MY AREA FOR A 15 YEAR OLD. I HAVE NO TRANSPORTATION, I HAVE NO CONNECTIONS AS FAR AS PEOPLE I KNOW TO HIRE ME.
Note: I am NOT suicidal. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem as far as I’m concerned, and I would never resort to that regardless of the situation. This post was written in a rare state of mind for me, I was venting and I’m not going to edit what I wrote, even though it’s a little embarrassing, underneath all the rambling it’s how I feel.
Since writing this post jake-jarret may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. jake-jarret is a verified member, has been around for 4 years, 4 months and has 1 posts and 1 replies to their name.
Invite Others to Help
A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.