depression help: well, - Help.com



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well,

i am 20 currently in college & i just feel so depressed because i cant get any female attention i know it sounds dumb but i just feel really lonely .. i am overweight been tryin to lose weight but i cant motivate myself to stick with a plan. the only thing that gets me through the day is smokin sum weed i guess iono i just feel disgusting and repulsive ,dammit i need a gf :’(

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HelpBot offline Verified User (0 minutes) Shouts: 5 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (0 minutes after post)

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hateTHEhate offline Verified User (4 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (6 minutes after post)

You need to fix yourself up before you get a girlfriend of any sort or she will trample all over you like a door mat and walk on like nothing happened. Look, I’m a girl and when a guy goes into a relationship with no confidence and her on a pedestal he ends up getting eaten alive from the inside out. I’ve seen it!!

Girls like confidence. That’s basically the key here - if you think/believe/act like you can handle it - she will think you can.

Look - girlfriends dont fix your problems. They add to them, and if you aren’t self-confident before you enter into a relationship - you will become co-dependent. And that usually ends up with the scenario I illustrated above (see first paragraph)

You’ll lose yourself before you’ve even found out who you are.

Jokes and confidence. Go with it.

Moral of the story: take care of yourself first.

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Lonely-Stoner offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (10 minutes after post)

i kno i mean i had no problem before but, ok i was with this girl for like a year an a half i woulda done n e thing for her i would bend over bakwards for her… found her with my friend … ever since then i dont kno i cant approach women.. iono it just seems that is what always happens to me

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hateTHEhate offline Verified User (4 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (14 minutes after post)

Lonely-Stoner wrote:
i kno i mean i had no problem before but, ok i was with this girl for like a year an a half i woulda done n e thing for her i would bend over bakwards for her… found her with my friend … ever since then i dont kno i cant approach women.. iono it just seems that is what always happens to me

Yeah you know why?

because you would bend over backwards for her. Ladies dont want someone who will do anything/everything we want 24/7 (its passive which = unattractive) - we want a guy who is confident, independent, who can be by themselves, who can BE themselves, stand up for what they believe, who isn’t afraid to disagree and well quite frankly, someone who isnt so available all the time.

I mean yes, by all means, treat your girl with respect and treat her well - but dont treat her like the be all end all of everything or she will act like the be all end all of everything.

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 152 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (14 minutes after post)

That is why you cannot stick to a diet plan or an exercise routine. Weed makes you hungry and lazy. Stop smoking it!!! Now!!!!

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hateTHEhate offline Verified User (4 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (16 minutes after post)

littlenick wrote:
That is why you cannot stick to a diet plan or an exercise routine. Weed makes you hungry and lazy. Stop smoking it!!! Now!!!!

HEY - WEED does NOT make you hungry and lazy - it is NOT PHYSICALLY addictive.

If you use it as an EXCUSE to stop doing things, than cut back - but dont blame the weed for your lack of exercise.

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Lonely-Stoner offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (25 minutes after post)

im not blaming weed ive been able to lose weight before…do good in school and work .. i just feel depressed lately even more because i really cant approach women i used to be confident i dont know what happened… well i guess ill try but u women r so confusing one minute its u dont pay attention to me and now its u do too much ugh tnx

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hateTHEhate offline Verified User (4 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (31 minutes after post)

Lonely-Stoner wrote:
im not blaming weed ive been able to lose weight before…do good in school and work .. i just feel depressed lately even more because i really cant approach women i used to be confident i dont know what happened… well i guess ill try but u women r so confusing one minute its u dont pay attention to me and now its u do too much ugh tnx

ha ha ha I guess we are confusing.

We want your attention when you become of interest to us. And when a girl is interested in you, you will know - i.e - she will text you often, laugh at your jokes, smile at you a lot, stand real close to you when she can etc. But guys are idiots when it comes to signs, so what can I say…

But until she shows that she has some real interest for you, she doesn’t want to hear from you everyday. I find guys come on way too strong in the beginning, and then when the girl finally catches up, he’s all “well i think we need to slow this down, you know”

Just….be cool. Talk to her when you’ve got something good to say and ONLY then.

You need to build yourself back up buddy - you cant let 1 rejection keep you down. If everyone did that, we’d surely all be dead by now.

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Lonely-Stoner offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 4 weeks ago (1 hour, 7 minutes after post)

hey u know what ur rite thanx i feel better than i did wen i woke up :)… one more ? how do i approach grls @ clubs confidently but without seeming like a creeper lol

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hateTHEhate offline Verified User (4 months, 1 week) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (18 hours, 46 minutes after post)

Easy - be interested.

1. You will stand out by default if you are actually interested in what she is saying.

2. Remember her name.

3. Go for a handshake - most girls think this is cute and will probably giggle that you made the effort to introduce yourself like a gentleman.

4. Smile and ask her about herself. IE - How was your day? What do you do for a living? What do you actually want to do? What do you like? and PAY ATTENTION! I know, we girls talk a lot, but some eye contact and attention can really take you places, my friend.

5. Be yourself. Reply, dont let her do ALL the talking - make sure you assert yourself. Girls like guys who can be themselves, have flair, charm and know when you speak up. Passivity wont get you very far.

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