marriage help: I just got married 2 months ago and I have been with him for years before we got married.

needadviceplz12

I just got married 2 months ago and I have been with him for years before we got married.

He has never mentioned having a problem with my weight before, but now he says he wants to get a gym membership and put me on it too. Yesterday he told me that I look pregnant because my stomach is so big. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the size I am. I am a medium sized girl. I weigh about 150 and I’m 5′3″. What do I do now?

This open post was written 3 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 218, 14, 6 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Reciprocity (0)

Since writing this post needadviceplz12 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. needadviceplz12 is a verified member, has been around for 6 months, 3 weeks and has 2 posts and 18 replies to their name.

Post Tags (3)

Weight, marriage, Self-image (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (14)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen

Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

~willard~ 6 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (4 minutes after post)

Talk to him…. just because you two got married does not give him any right to start “fixing you up” because that would mean that he doesnt really love you, he loves what he wants you to be. He should love you for you and not how he wishes you were. If he wished you looked different then he should have married someone else!

Help me with: So more news.

Sillerious 65 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (7 minutes after post)

~willard~ wrote:
Talk to him…. just because you two got married does not give him any right to start “fixing you up” because that would mean that he doesnt really love you, he loves what he wants you to be. He should love you for you and not how he wishes you were. If he wished you looked different then he should have married someone else!

Exactly!

~willard~ 6 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (9 minutes after post)

Sillerious wrote:

~willard~ wrote:
Talk to him…. just because you two got married does not give him any right to start “fixing you up” because that would mean that he doesnt really love you, he loves what he wants you to be. He should love you for you and not how he wishes you were. If he wished you looked different then he should have married someone else!

Exactly!

Thank you!

Help me with: So more news.

Victoria Sponge 5 #
Fritwell, K2, GB | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (14 minutes after post)

Ask him why he has decided this all of a sudden, maybe he just wants to get healthy and wants to get healthy with his new wife, you won’t know either way unless you talk to him

Help me with: Great words of advice

Dorian 4 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (29 minutes after post)

That’s a pretty harsh thing to say - if he really feels that way why did he wait until after you were married to say anything?

Help me with: Symptoms of concussion

~willard~ 6 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (32 minutes after post)

Is the OP going to say something or did they just want our opinions? Usually it works better if there is a conversation involved.

Help me with: So more news.

needadviceplz12 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (39 minutes after post)

Thank you so much Willard! It upset me a lot because nothing has ever been mentioned about weight before. It’s not like I let myself go in the past 2 months either. I just think it was really uncalled for and I wanted to get opinions on if he is in the wrong, or if I should actually start worrying about my weight. I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with my body.

Sillerious 65 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (41 minutes after post)

If you’re happy with your body then that’s all that should really matter to your husband. Have you told him this?

needadviceplz12 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (42 minutes after post)

Wow my computer is rly slow. sry evry1

Victoria Sponge 5 #
Fritwell, K2, GB | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (44 minutes after post)

Honey talk to him, he may just want a gym partner and you seem like the obvious person to be his gym partner, it doesn’t mean he wants you to change, just something fo you to do together

Help me with: Great words of advice

vivzofwale 5 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (47 minutes after post)

i don’t think it’s harsh. and i don’t think that it means he doesn’t love you. it’s true, love may mean accepting each other’s flaws. but it can also mean we want our partners to be the best they can be. there might be a reason why he’s telling you this only now. maybe he was afraid to offend you before? maybe you guys can afford it better now?

it’s kind of like.. it’s easier for a new wife to ‘interfere’ (sorry, can’t think of a better word) with her husband’s wardrobe compared to when they were just dating. marriage kinda gives you that privilege, i guess.

Help me with: need help figuring myself out..

needadviceplz12 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (48 minutes after post)

He knows that I’m happy with my body and that I don’t want to be stick-thin. I just hope this isn’t an issue that he’s had all along and just now telling me about. I am ok with my body but I am still very shy and self-concious.

~willard~ 6 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (51 minutes after post)

Hun all you can do is talk to him. You cant really know how to feel unless you know what he really means. Maybe he just wanted you to be healthy but really you wont know until you talk to him. Im sorry hes making you feel bad but if your happy with your body then he shouldnt be telling you to change.

Theres nothing you can do till you talk to him. I hope this all works out for you. *hugs*

Help me with: So more news.

needadviceplz12 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (2 hours, 15 minutes after post)

Thank you all so so so much!!! I really appreciate it!

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.

marriage help: I just got married 2 months ago and I have been with him for years before we got married. - Help.com

I just got married 2 months ago and I have been with him for years before we got married.

Reciprocity (0)

Post Tags (3)

Replies (14)

Invite Others to Help

Help.com Homepage