Family help: My boyfriend’s mother is a drug addict. - Help.com

My boyfriend’s mother is a drug addict.

I have been dating my boyfriend long distance for almost two years. Recently, I flew to see him and stay with his family. His mother was constantly smoking marijuana and it didn’t give me a very good impression of her. She has been leeching off her family for years and contributes nothing to it. When her daughter won’t buy her weed, she gets her doctor friend to write prescriptions for pills for her. I would like to marry my boyfriend, but having a mother-in-law that will leech of of me and him is not in my interest. I am just looking for advice on how to deal with this. Do I ignore, enable, or call the police? Is there something else I can do?

This open post was written 3 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 163, 8, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post Popuri may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Popuri is a verified member, has been around for 3 months, 3 weeks and has 1 posts and 1 replies to their name.

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zaogitai97 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (25 minutes after post)

Encourage her to cultivate it, then she won’t have to buy it and she won’t leech off your bf.

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 158 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (41 minutes after post)

Now you know what you’re getting yourself into. I wouldn’t marry the guy.

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Popuri offline Verified User (3 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (44 minutes after post)

NoGifts wrote:
After 2 years, you flew to stay with him and your family? Has it been long distance for you and him the entire time?

Yes it has been long distance, except he has visited me several times. This was the first time I met his family.

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 158 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (45 minutes after post)

You’re going to try to resolve a situation that has been going on for years and they’re going to tell you to MYOB!

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zaogitai97 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (46 minutes after post)

I don’t think that a family member smoking weed is so terrible. Maybe she has glaucoma or something like that? You don’t know her medical history. Besides, you can’t get “addicted” to weed except psychologically - its physically impossible.

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courtybubble online Verified User (2 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 190 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (4 hours, 11 minutes after post)

Dang. 2 years is a HELL of a long time to do long distance. and long distance is really hard. so that tells me that there really is something there between you, something special and very strong.
it would be a crying shame to ruin that because of his mother.
i dont agree with anyone here. i say STAY.
stay…but let him know the deal. let him know you will not be a part of enabling her, you will not support her habit, you will not give her money or a place to stay or allow her drugs around you.
not neccesarily making him choose between her or you, but making it very clear that you do not think what she is doing is right and you wont be a part of it.
you never know, your standing up to her problem could be the catilyst for them realising how bad it is and getting her help.
or not. in which case-it is not your job or responsibility to fix her or the family. but you do have the right to not want it around you.
i dont believe it has to be the end of things at all. i just think you need to communicate really clearly with your guy and let him know exactly where you stand on the issue.

i would really hope you dont break it off just because his family has issues…there really isnt a perfect family out there.

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