sleep help: I’m 16. - Help.com

Self_Healer
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An Unknown Location

I’m 16.

Every morning I wake up and feel like I’d have been better off dying in my sleep. I walk around with a big moody face, storming down the halls. Everyone yells things at me every single day and that sort of gets me down. I’ve taken an overdose of paracetamol but it didn’t work. I wanted to leave my life so badly.

More recently, my perception of reality has become blurred to the point I don’t know what’s real anymore. It’s like my whole perception has just been blurred and I think things that aren’t true to ME, or I am paranoid all the time because of something that happened on “role-play”. Sure, you could say, just stop the role playing then…no such luck. I have more than one rp’ing account on myspace and…I can’t stop. It’s meant to be helping me…it was at first…but I guess now I’m sort of “becoming my characters” Or, sometimes I’ll act out a scenario that maybe I’d seen on TV or rp’ed about, and it feels like reality…but it’s not…

I also self harm. I have done so for a long, long time and I once managed to go four months, 13 days without cutting. But I started again. I can’t seem to stop for a long amount of time anymore. Maybe I’m just crazy to be feeling like this all the time. I’ve even cut words into my leg, like “dead”.

I know I need some sort of proffesional help. Sometimes I wouldn’t mind going into an institution or going to a therapist. But I would be too scared to call anyone up, or even tell my mum and step-dad. It’s all too much for me. I just want to die all the time.

This open post was written 2 years, 11 months ago | V/U/S: 410, 16, 5 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Since writing this post Self_Healer may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. Self_Healer is a verified member, has been around for 2 years, 11 months and has 1 posts and 12 replies to their name.

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HelpBot offline Verified User (0 minutes) Shouts: 5 #
San Francisco, CA, US | 2 years, 11 months ago (0 minutes after post)

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Queen Elizatron 4000 invited 1 user to read this post 2 years, 11 months ago.

Queen Elizatron 4000 offline Verified User (3 years, 5 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 years, 11 months ago (8 minutes after post)

I think seeing a therapist would be great. Your mom and dad love you and want to help you. If you think talking to your school counselor could help do that for starts. I really think you should sit your parents down and just talk and ask them if it could be a possibility to take you.

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Self_Healer offline Verified User (2 years, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 11 months ago (10 minutes after post)

Thanks for reading…and for replying =D

Yeah, you’re right about seeing a therapist being a good idea..I just wouldn’t know how to tell my parents about it. What would I say. My Mum almost found out I self harm once and she freaked…until I said that the website she found was just for a school project…

*sigh*

Anyway…I’ll try…

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quizzie offline Verified User (2 years, 12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Longwood, FL, US | 2 years, 11 months ago (12 minutes after post)

therepists can help, like QE said, i thought my parents would be mad at me if i told them i cut my wrists, but they told me that i had to stop and i shouldnt be afraid to tell them anything, they only yell because they punish themselves for letting you feel like this cause hey love you so much

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Self_Healer offline Verified User (2 years, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 11 months ago (21 minutes after post)

Thanks…I know what you mean.

I just…no it doesn’t matter. I’ll try and tell them. Maybe I could tell my Grandad or someone else? I’m not exactly ‘close’ to my parents.

Well thanks

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quizzie offline Verified User (2 years, 12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Longwood, FL, US | 2 years, 11 months ago (7 hours, 29 minutes after post)

tell your parents, they may shout, but they still love you inside, even if its deep deep down, trust me its there

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Self_Healer offline Verified User (2 years, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 11 months ago (21 hours, 27 minutes after post)

Thanks for the replies..

What makes me feel like I need to hurt myself? when I’m told to think about why, I never have a reason. I just need to feel something is what I tell people but…I don’t think that’s quite it

Never mind.

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quizzie offline Verified User (2 years, 12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Longwood, FL, US | 2 years, 11 months ago (22 hours, 41 minutes after post)

maybe you think, that if you cut yourself than you would be cool? it doesnt it kills you, can be as deadly as drugs

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Self_Healer offline Verified User (2 years, 11 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 11 months ago (1 day, 20 hours after post)

(This is the author of the post answering. I haven’t been able to log in because I haven’t verified my account yet.))

“Quiznos” What the hell makes you think you have the right to assume that I think it is cool? I don’t. It’s not like I go around showing everyone? I think you need to realise that people talking to me like that DOES NOT help me in the slightest.

Maybe I should go off and hurt myself because of that remark? No, I won’t. Because I’m stronger than I used to be. But if someone has a problem and they need help, you DO NOT assume that they think hurting themselves is “cool.”

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vicki_tyle offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 years, 11 months ago (1 day, 20 hours after post)

(This is the author of the post answering. I haven’t been able to log in because I haven’t verified my account yet.))

“Quiznos” What the hell makes you think you have the right to assume that I think it is cool? I don’t. It’s not like I go around showing everyone? I think you need to realise that people talking to me like that DOES NOT help me in the slightest.

Maybe I should go off and hurt myself because of that remark? No, I won’t. Because I’m stronger than I used to be. But if someone has a problem and they need help, you DO NOT assume that they think hurting themselves is “cool.”

.How dare you.

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quizzie offline Verified User (2 years, 12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Longwood, FL, US | 2 years, 11 months ago (3 days, 7 hours after post)

it is not cool, and i never said that, i put it doesnt meaning it doesnt make you cool, maybe i should of put it isnt cool, im sorry, i am not great at putting words together.

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quizzie offline Verified User (2 years, 12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Longwood, FL, US | 2 years, 11 months ago (3 days, 7 hours after post)

oh, and i used to cut my wrists and legs

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quizzie offline Verified User (2 years, 12 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
Longwood, FL, US | 2 years, 11 months ago (3 days, 7 hours after post)

i used to think that, and i said MAYBE you think, i didnt assume, i am trying to help you

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inter-wenc offline Verified User (2 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
US | 2 years, 2 months ago (9 months, 1 week after post)

It’s good to heard you’re at least opening up on the internet,

Talking to people is good- When I was at my worst, I suffered in silence.
A word of advice though. Don’t tell just one person everything- it’s a large burden- and the more people the share it, the lighter it is on everyone’s shoulders.

Also, if your RPing is negitively affecting you, maybe you should stop using the internet for a while?
You cant roleplay if you can’t access it.
Join some drama groups, volenteer (feel good factor as a plus in this one), find a hobby- things that get you away from the computer… And take your mind of things.

Renew your lifes perpose. Try to see the positives instead of the negatives- all these are small things that helped me on my way to recovery.

I don’t know how you feel while cutting- But when I used to cut, it was so I could feel less numb- an attempt to snap myself back to reality, and sometimes even to ground myself- punish myself for feeling sad when there was so little wrong.
However, it eventually became habit, a difficult one to break at that.

But break it I have, and I’m a stronger person for it- Still have problems, but at least cutting isn’t one of them.

My point is you need to change the way you see the world- re-asess your lifestyle and work toward distancing yourself from the things that are damaging to you.

Good Luck.

Shout me if you wanna talk more.

>< >< >

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