Love help: Unsafe. - Help.com

Unsafe.

My parents are divorcing soon, my father moved out and hasn’t called me in three weeks. Isn’t he supposed to protect me? How do you walk out on the family you’ve had for 27 years? With no calls? I don’t understand, it’s confusing. It hurts. My mom says that he’s with someone else, and that he doesn’t call because he doesn’t care? How does a church-going person who dines with our father regularly and is friends with him do such a thing to his family? We’re a family.

I don’t believe in divorce. I don’t understand. I’m shutting down. Please help me. I know these things happen but I don’t feel safe anymore, I’m scared.

This open post was written 3 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 100, 4, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post apple54 may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. apple54 is not a verified member, has been around for 3 months, 1 week and has 1 posts and 7 replies to their name.

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divorce, Love, safety (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 152 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (3 minutes after post)

How old are you?

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apple54 offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (15 minutes after post)

littlenick wrote:
How old are you?

I’m 21. : ( Is that too old? It’s just, where we live, these things don’t happen. Not here. I’ve never known anyone…

Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.

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c-eek offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 15 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (35 minutes after post)

Your father is probably embarrassed by his desertion of your family and does not know how to explain his behavior to you. I think you should contact him and tell him that you want to see him. You do not need to support his choices, but you do need to maintain a relationship with him. Parents are often faced with the need to maintain a relationship with their grown children, even when they do not agree with the choices they are making. This time the roles are reversed, but the need for contact and understanding are the same.

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littlenick offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 152 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months, 1 week ago (39 minutes after post)

You’re 21 years old. Time to fly the coop and be on your own if you feel the need to. I think your father does not need to protect you. Now you need to protect yourself and make yourself safe. Life happens and sometimes parents just letting us know in one way or another that we are on our own is what happens.

Do everything in your power to become self sufficient and autonomous. If you ever see your father again, which I am sure you will and soon, then just tell him you love him and you understand. He did what he had to do and he just left the coop. Now it’s your turn to shine and your turn to take care of yourself.

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