Confused about the right decision.. - Help.com

Hello users,Im Sandy
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Confused about the right decision..

I have been seeing this guy (not officially but you could say dealing) for a few weeks now. A few people (who are very close to me) believed he wouldn’t be the best choice for me. I also saw alot of characteristics in him (such as huge ego, somewhat rude, overly clingy etc. etc.) that made me confused about him. But there are also some parts of his personality I do like (which are actually harder to think of then the things I don’t like). Anyway yesturday night came and I finally realised that I had to end it with this guy before he got too attached.
I sent him a text: I think you’re a great guy and I really like you and respect you, but I think it would be best if we stopped seeing eachother as anything but friends.
he replied: Ok, works for me. (which I honostly expected)
So my question is, do you think I made the right choice? I mean, maybe it wouldn’t have been love but maybe it could have been but I just never really gave it a chance. I feel like I still want him a little, but deep down I know I really didn’t like him much. I’m just confused. I thought if I broke it off I would feel so much more free and happy but I still feel the same. I don’t know.

This open post was written 3 years, 10 months ago | V/U/S: 1,352, 22, 8 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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Miiau offline Verified User (4 years, 3 months) Long Term User Shouts: 3 #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 10 months ago (8 minutes after post)

I guess youll never really know, but from the way your described it, sounds like a good decission to me.

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c-eek offline Verified User (5 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 12 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 years, 10 months ago (28 minutes after post)

littlenick wrote:
Always trust your instincts. If your instincts were telling you to break up with this guy, then you did the right thing. You even listed some the things that are wrong with this guy, so I think you made the right choice. Don’t give him another thought or spend another minute fretting about your decision. You made the right one.

I agree, and you did the guy a favor, too. After all, he needs to find someone who admires his personality, which he would not have done if the two of you had continued a romantic relationship.

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xLOCKEx offline Verified User (4 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 10 months ago (34 minutes after post)

umm, you said over clingy. How can you want to be in a relationship at least a serious one and not expect someone to be clingy. That is kinda’ the point isn’t it?

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.Anonymous offline Verified User (4 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 years, 10 months ago (36 minutes after post)

Sounds like you did it right - you knew you didn’t really like him but you thought you’d give it a shot because, hey why not, right?

Well you weren’t sold and you figure you should be with someone you actually want as opposed to someone you have to struggle to make good points about.

So my vote is you made a smart choice.

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.Anonymous offline Verified User (4 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 years, 10 months ago (37 minutes after post)

xLOCKEx wrote:
umm, you said over clingy. How can you want to be in a relationship at least a serious one and not expect someone to be clingy. That is kinda’ the point isn’t it?

EEww no.

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xLOCKEx offline Verified User (4 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 10 months ago (41 minutes after post)

And really, it’s easy to point out someones short comings. Way easier than it is to point out things that you do like, but you’re never, ever, ever, ever, going to find someone that you love everything about. There will always be things you don’t like and relationships are just a little about compromise. I think people give up to easily looking for a fairy tale.

usurper wrote:

xLOCKEx wrote:
umm, you said over clingy. How can you want to be in a relationship at least a serious one and not expect someone to be clingy. That is kinda’ the point isn’t it?

EEww no.

yeah I think you’re right, but still I personally love when my girl is clingy. And you know you never hear that statement from a guy.

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.Anonymous offline Verified User (4 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 years, 10 months ago (51 minutes after post)

Ha ha wow Mr. Locke - I would advise the exact oppisite.

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rtp offline Verified User (6 years, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 21 #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 10 months ago (54 minutes after post)

you made the right decicion

but what is bothering you is that you gave away somebody that you would made you feel good , it always feels good to be wanted by somebody and stuff … that is why you feeling abit down …

that is at least what i believe is happening

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Help me with: Is it just me ?
Hello users,Im Sandy offline Verified User (6 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
CA | 3 years, 10 months ago (1 hour, 34 minutes after post)

Thank you all. I’m glad most of you are supportive in a my decision. I understand not everybody will agree with eachother, it’s always good to hear both point of views. I wasn’t looking for a fairy tale. You know when you aree with somebody and even though you have only been dating them for a few weeks you can see yourself falling in love with them? Well with him (the guy that this post is about) I just never felt it. I never even felt any lust of infactuation. I never really liked much about him, but it’s been so long since my ex I wanted to like somebody. Which isn’t fare to him or me. I want somebody who’s personality really interests me, somebody who I want to spend time with and will miss. And I doubt I would have got that with him. Anymore comments please share them :)

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Phantom gentleman offline Verified User (4 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 10 months ago (1 hour, 42 minutes after post)

when it comes to relationships, the best I can tell you is go with your gut. granted I say that who have been recently resinglified myself… but the fact is if the big red warning lights are going off in your head its usually better to listen to them

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Phantom gentleman offline Verified User (4 years, 2 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 years, 10 months ago (1 day, 6 hours after post)

littlenick wrote:

Phantom gentleman wrote:
when it comes to relationships, the best I can tell you is go with your gut. granted I say that who have been recently resinglified myself… but the fact is if the big red warning lights are going off in your head its usually better to listen to them

If I go with my gut, it usually leads me to The Olive Garden!

Olive garden… good food but rediculously small portions. Thats the last time I shell out ten bucks for four forks full of lasagna even if it was delicious.. but thats neither here nor there, my only real point was sometimes our instincts know things that our basic intelect does not. and when I dont listen to my instinct, I usually find myself regretting it.

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charmed_onez3 offline Verified User (6 years, 8 months) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
New Orleans, LA, US | 3 years, 10 months ago (2 days, 1 hour after post)

well from the way he sounded…like ok works for me shows that he didnt really care. I think you made a good choice because you deserve better and a guy who would be torn apart if you said it was over. Us girls are special…and we deserve the best guys! so dont think about it…go out there and find a gentlemen who treat you like a queen!

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Hello users,Im Sandy offline Verified User (6 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
CA | 3 years, 10 months ago (2 days, 3 hours after post)

Thanks so much. I really needed to be reminded that. I guess sometimes I feel like I have to pressure myself to stay with these guys. I think it’s bc since my ex I actually realised what I really wanted in a guy. And since I haven’t found that in over half a year it’s making me feel that I have to settle. But you are right, I need to do what is best for me and I shouldn’t have to persuade myself to have feelings for somebody.

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Hello users,Im Sandy offline Verified User (6 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
CA | 3 years, 10 months ago (2 days, 4 hours after post)

Has anyone ever dated someone they really had no interest in and, though they had a few good qualities you knew deep down it wasn’t what you wanted? But in time you learned to accept and love them? Bc sometimes I worry that I may be screwing myself over by not giving these guys a chance. I mean the guy I was seeing wasn’t all that bad. He was sweet, attentive, and I was sexually attracted to him. But compared to my ex, who was for the most part what I wanted, I knew I was settling. Sometimes I worry my ex es the best I’m going to do. And in the end, he’s still the “ex”. I don’t know I’m just concerned that maybe I’m missing out. Then again I know that guy I was seeing and other guys that it just never worked with would never make me happy. I honostly don’t even know what I’m trying to say, but I really hope there are still guys out there that I clique with, bc god knows I’m not finding them.

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c-eek offline Verified User (5 years, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 12 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 years, 10 months ago (2 days, 4 hours after post)

littlenick wrote:
Also quit comparing other guys to your ex. You will never find another one like him, bad or good, all guys have differences even if you think you end up finding someone like your ex. Don’t comparison shop, because you will never find another guy like your ex.

True, but you may find someone who is so wonderful, you wonder what you saw in your ex. That happened to me and it can happen to you.

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Hello users,Im Sandy offline Verified User (6 years, 6 months) Long Term User Shouts: 1 #
CA | 3 years, 10 months ago (2 days, 6 hours after post)

I don’t know. I hope I can find somebody like that but it was just everything my ex said or did. It just cliqued to me. It just made so much sence. I got him like I never understood a guy. But I really hope I am able to find someone amazing someday.

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