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There were three dogs at the vet talking to each other when one says,”I chewed up all my masters shoes, and that’s why I’m here”.

The next dog said,”I peed on my masters $1,000 rug”.

The next dog then comes in and say’s,”My master is a female and she likes to clean house in the nude, so when she bent over to pick up something, I went for the ride of a life time!”.

“And that’s why you’re here?” asked the other dogs. “No, I’m getting my nails clipped.”

Patrick O’Malley hoisted his beer and said: “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!” - and he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night.

In bed later that night, he told his wife: “Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of the night.” She said, “Aye, Paddy, what was your toast?”

So he told her: “Here’s to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife.”

“Oh,” she said, “that is very nice, dear.”

The next day, Mary ran into one of Paddy’s drinking partners in the street. Mischievously, the man said: “Did you hear about your husband winning a prize in the pub the other night for a toast about you, Mary?”

She replied: “Aye - and I was a bit surprised. Till now, he’s only been down there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come”.

This guy is a doctor always life, he just loves being a doctor.
He finally dies and his standing at the gates of heaven.
He says to ****. Peter Iv’e been a doctor all my life can I wear my
Dr. clothes in heaven? ****. Peter says no I’m sorry you can’t,
you have to wear the standard heaven garb.
The Doctor very disappointed but he goes into heaven.He’s there about two weeks
and sitting in a restaurant.In walks a guy wearing DR. clothes.
So he goes to ****. Peter and he says you told me I can’t wear my doctor clothes
and I saw a guy in a restaurant wearing doctor clothes, how come.
****. Peter says Oh, ” That’s God he sometimes likes to play doctor”