ex help: Been 5 months and I can’t get over her… My girlfriend broke up with me 5 months ago and I have not stopped thinking about her at all. - Help.com

Wow dude… you sound exactly like me and my ex boyfriend… except ive got the same problem you do. and thats the way my ex is… i wish i could help ya but i’ve got the same problems you do :(

It seems to me that if you really cared about this girl, you wouldn’t have gotten involved with her friends. Is it possible that you subconsciously did this just to hurt her? If so I think it’s best for you to both be separated while you figure yourself out. Personally, I think its best for you two to break up, as long distance relationships are too fraught with jealousy and loneliness, and at 19 nobody needs that kind of angst.

Dude, SHE broke up with YOU, because she doesn’t want a relationship. She’s got no right to feel upset if you’re off doing your own thing with other girls. She can’t expect to break up with you and still keep you to herself. Either she wants to be with you, or she doesn’t. If she doesn’t want to be with you, then you’re single and should be able to act as such. You’ve done nothing wrong here, and she’s way out of line trying to guilt-trip you, especially if you still have feelings for her. She’s taking advantage of you. My advice is to put as much distance between you and her as possible.

I know she broke up with me but I would do anything to have her back. I really only hooked up with two of the girls because they were very distant friends of hers and they said the wouldn’t say anything. Also they were very proactive in calling me and I wasn’t sober at all when it occured. They really threw themselves at me. I don’t want to hurt her. I want to know if there is anything I can do for her to want me back…

If she doesn’t want a relationship then it’s no good trying to get her back - at best you’ll be putting her in a situation she doesn’t want to be in, and she’ll only end up resenting you for it. You don’t need to make excuses for yourself - you were single, the girls are presumably attractive and at the time it seemed like the right thing to do, ergo you did nothing wrong. Now your ex is guilt-tripping you and you’re letting her. You need to man up my friend, accept that she’s gone and take control of your own life. As long as this girl’s controlling your thoughts and actions you’ll never be your own person, and you’ll never be truly happy.

does anyone know anything i can do to at least get her to want me in the future. I am willing to wait if she needs time.

Seriously, let her go.

But, the thing is she tells me she misses me and still cares about me. She also gets super upset if she sees me with someone else. That means she still cares right? So there is something of a chance for when she gets done with college, right?

No, it means she gets jealous and she misses the security of being in a relationship. In other words, she’s still adjusting to being single and she’s so used to the idea of you being completely pussywhipped by her that she can’t get her head around the idea that you might ever be interested in anyone else. Get your head together - SHE broke up with YOU. That means she doesn’t want a relationship with you, but apparently she still wants to control your life beause it makes her feel better about herself if you’re hung up on her for as long as possible. Do you really want to let this person have that level of control over your life?