friends help: I have a friend I have known from when we were children. - Help.com

I have a friend I have known from when we were children.

Some people mark him as odd, and in a way so do I. However, deep down I know that he is a good person, just ecentric…and a bit of a know it all. We all have flaws right, but it’s insane to say that everyone’s flaws are equal. Anyways, lately I have found myself kicking him out of my house (some friend eh?) due to his unique personalty. I am beginning to think to myself it’s time to call it quits. His attitude is absolutely noxious, he thinks he knows everything about any topic you can think of. Girls, he think he is the gift to all of them however he doesn’t have a girlfriend nor he has ever kept longer than a year. Nutrition, yea he thinks he has some PhD but he refuses to eat vegetables and salts every thing put in front of him. Politics, yea we won’t start that. What I am getting at, is that despite all my other friends disliking him and asking me not to bring him along, I feel that he is a good person deep down and needs help. I have tried to reason with him, talk with him, have heart to heart intervention. It never takes. He only has two friends in this world, myself and my wife; who constantly makes fun of him behind his back. I don’t know what to do about him. I will be moving in a month and I am afraid that his hermit lifestyle will be irreversible once I leave if I don’t do something… Help me.

This open post was written 3 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 135, 6, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post MrJibaku may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. MrJibaku is a verified member, has been around for 3 months, 3 weeks and has 1 posts and 6 replies to their name.

Post Tags (3)

friends, Bromance, Hermit (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (6)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

Cell offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 64 #
Winnipeg, MB, CA | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (6 minutes after post)

Have a heart to heart talk with him.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: I’m feeling a little lost…When you have your own business how do you know how to prioritize?
Estrella offline Verified User (4 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 2 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (11 minutes after post)

Yeah, I agree with Cell. If he doesn’t want help then that’s his problem because you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped in the first place.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: What do you do for christmas?
Dr. Ralph offline Verified User (1 year, 1 month) Long Term User Shouts: 75 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (36 minutes after post)

Sounds like he needs a dose of reality. Maybe your leaving will bring that to him.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: How can I make myself cheer for the Patriots even though I absolutely detest them?
usurper offline Verified User (7 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 9 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (44 minutes after post)

Some people are just the way they are.

You’ve had a heart to heart and it doesn’t stick? Well maybe he likes himself. Maybe he doesn’t think there is anything wrong with the way he is in comparison to how other people live. Maybe thats just who he is.

You cant save people from themselves - and you especially cant save people who dont want to be saved. He has to come to a realization all on his own - 100 heart to hearts wont make someone see something they dont want to see or hear.

I say you either accept him for who he is or maybe you have just grown apart. He sounds like a grown up - he can indeed take care of himself. Just let him know that you are there if he ever needs to talk to someone and leave it at that.

This has been marked as a favorite reply 1 times. (1) Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: People really need to chill.
Cell offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 64 #
Winnipeg, MB, CA | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (1 hour, 50 minutes after post)

No - I meant seriously tell him his attitude and words are annoying and when you go out your other friends beg you not to bring him along. Tell him to act nicer or he will end up alone!

Tell him even a foolish man is thought wise if he keeps his mouth shut. Maybe he could try that.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: I’m feeling a little lost…When you have your own business how do you know how to prioritize?
MrJibaku offline Verified User (3 months, 3 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months, 3 weeks ago (2 hours, 35 minutes after post)

In the end Usurper is right. I tend to have unrealistic expectations of others. I know everyone isn’t a saint, I know I’m not. I guess I just expect for some people to grasp the obvious. There was one time we went out to a friend’s house and he started on some stupid perverse tangent and everyone just looked at him, as if to beg him to just stop talking. He just kept on. Later that evening I get the phone calls about how creepy he is and how he isn’t welcomed back. Knowing someone for so long you begin to sympathize with them. However, there comes a pivotal point in any failed relationship where you grab onto whatever ledge is left and pull yourself out. It’s time for me to stop expecting him to change, accept who is, and stop thinking the old version of him will come back. He is who he is. I am just saddened that he introverted into another person.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.