Mend it. Initiate the fix. She overstepped but she does really care about you. Life’s too short for forgiveness.
Anonymous
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3 months, 1 week ago (17 minutes after post)
I do think pride may be holding me back.
Anonymous changed the tags on this post: they were "" 3 months, 1 week ago.
Proud people usually end up miserable and sometimes alone. There is a time and a place to be proud, this is not one of them. A 20 year friendship down the tubes for a simple misunderstanding? Wow! Don’t let this be the end of your friendship.
Anonymous
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3 months, 1 week ago (45 minutes after post)
I guess because she hung up on me and ended the lines of communication I was waiting for her to open them back up.
Anonymous
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3 months, 1 week ago (57 minutes after post)
Tell her a little chihuahua dog told you to talk to her so both of you could mend fences and go on like before, if not better.
good luck!
Friends are NEVER LOST - sometimes they need time for renewal and a fresh start. I suffered the betrayal of a 30 year spand friendship (she introduced me to her friends as HER sister). However, a man came into her life and I was no longer needed to cry on my shoulder — she saw me as a competitor. I cried for months and the pain was worst than my separation and divorce from the man I loved (and still do!). It was that painful. However, time restores ALL things and with your eyes on the good Lord YOU are more than capable of finding forgiveness. The forgiver is always the most sincere and wiser in any relationship that has gone down hill. It is then YOUR calling to speak with your neighbor (for now, leave the word FRIEND out of your life) and speak to her from the bottom of your heart all that you feel or felt with the break up of the friendship. HOWEVER, let her know you value her as a human being and let by gone be by gone. Liberate yourself of any guilt or pain just by expressing it directly to HER. I did and the outcome was EXHILARATING! Free. FREE at last. Let her do the rest. Sleep in peace. Let it go and speak to the winds “I now let go of the pain and situation in the past that bounded my emotions negatively and replace right NOW with joy, forgiveness and love!
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Anonymous
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3 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 16 minutes after post)
littlenick -you are too funny! and a cute little chihuahua dog at that! Thanks!
Anonymous
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3 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 33 minutes after post)
olmo- thank you for your reply. I’m so glad you and your friend were able to mend and heal. 30 years is a LONG friendship and my best friend aswell always introduced me as her sister. People always thought we were and we never told them any different! LOL Our children call us Aunt. Yes- this has been so painful. I can relate when you say maybe even more painful than divorce. Sometimes I feel I was closer to her than anyone else on earth because she knew me as much as any human could. There are some things you just cant tell your spouse or parents and get full understanding.haha
This really has consumed much of my thoughts for the last 8 months. I guess I was so hurt I just hoped in time it would dull the pain and I would feel better and maybe move on. Well Im still the same 8 months later. Still worried about it! How did you open up the door to your friend? How did you do it? Do you think when her husband bought me the photo of their son and told me I was always welcome over there it was her way of opening the door? Your advice sounds so wise and thank you!
Amiga, live life as if you depended only on yourself and God. Let the joy of beautiful things around you fill your spirit and senses. Often, we depend on others as if they were our anchors - Guess What? Often, they let go of the life line and we go off the precipice. Each second, minute, day that you waste on the past and situations you cannot re-run and fix, is time you will NEVER recuperate. It is lost forever. Instead of fretting over this close neighbor/friend that at one point (usually the most critical in your life) let you really down…let it GO. LET BY GONE BE BY GONE. If you can find it in YOUR heart to forgive and allow this woman back into YOUR life, then make it by choice and do not feel pressured to fall into the same relationship you THOUGHT existed in the past. Re-group and get yourself centered on who YOU ARE and what your PRESENT needs are before jumping into the wagon. YES, the husband’s reach to you via your son is a sign to mend the friendship and YOU have the power to make it happen or NOT. Just heal from your wounds and to be able to know what made them bleed, you need to ask yourself the question. Once you know the WHY, then the HOW will be clear. Basic Psychology 101 is ALL Causes HAVE Effects. First, you need to forgive yourself, then ask her to forgive you for any pain you might have caused her and tell her exactly how YOU feel and what should happen before you can be friends again. I assure you that IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME…however, it does not mean you have to live ignoring the existence of the other. Be brave and be good to yourself. Love who YOU are and move on. Many blessings.
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Anonymous
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3 months, 1 week ago (17 hours, 51 minutes after post)
Dear Olmo- Thank you for your wonderful advice and time. You will never know how much it means to me. Your message rings true to me and I do need to find forgiveness to myself and my old friend. Things happen, right. And as humans we make mistakes, sometimes even very painful ones. I really need to begin the healing process as I have spent months and months ruminating on the situation. You are right- I will NEVER get that precious time back. What a waste. I have felt awful about that. The first year of my babies life I was sick alot. He is 20 months now and I have spent much of the last 8-9 months not fully being in the moment with him because of intrusive thoughts of my lost realtionship. I was always conscience of this though and tried to manage it but it was still there. I feel like I havent been able to fully enjoy my beautiful boy because since he was born I have had worry/anxiety over health or relationships. I get angry inside about that! What a huge waste. I need to LET IT GO. Let By Gone Be By Gone. I will continue to pray to God for peace and forgiveness. Your words have touched me and I am greatful to you. You have been a blessing to me. Thank you for your wise words! Blessings to you!
Just wanted you to know i changed my name and no longer olmo466 - now i go by my nickname paupau. i am happy you are coming to terms with your inside adult and letting go of the brewing child. you will heal very soon and although time was lost you can make up for it by spreading the love to your beautiful child (thank god he is too young to notice!) so woman i say unto you in the name of jesus that your mind, heart and soul are coming together as never before. you are full of strength and will fulfill all of your dreams, including the healing of your body and friendship. you will never again give your self blindly to anyone and will always be cautious of what your mind puts on your tongue. you are blessed and full of enjoy now! amen.
Anonymous
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3 months ago (3 days, 6 hours after post)
Hey Paupau- I like your new name! I am AnnieN. Thanks for checkin back in with me. I’ve really been thinking about what you’ve said and I keep referring back to these posts as I’ve been doing my soul searching. The baby went for another tractor ride last night and spent like an hour next door . He was so happy and came back with a dinosaur toy! I was hoping maybe she would walk over when the baby came home but she didnt. She just watched from her porch and I just watched out my window as my husband lifted the baby off the tractor. So sad. I was hoping I would have the nerve and just do it. But I didn’t. Then I thought- well its getting late- I think shes off on Mondays so maybe we’ll talk tomorrow. But we didnt. sooooo- guess I’m still contemplating. I guess I’ll know when the time is right. And yes, I do feel I have grown from all this. I will be more mindful of what my mind puts on my tongue. This is a lesson I have had to learn many times throughout my life. I am usually pretty even tempered and joyous. But man, when something really strikes me wrong I can have quite a roar! I can really let someone have it. Its not often- and I can take alot-but when I blow, I blow. I feel the need to tell it like it is! This is a weakness of mine and as an adult I have really tried to gain better control over my emotions and keep a level head. I am growing and learning. Some lessons are so hard. You know the saying, “we will keep learning the lessons until the lessons are learned”! So I hope you are doing well and I’m glad I found YOU to help me on this website. It just proves I am blessed. I sent a friend request to you. And I will click on the icon so you can email me directly if you should ever want to talk or anything. I am still trying to figure out how to use this website. I’m pretty sure I did it right. I also have a facebook, do you? I pray that God continues to bless you Paupau and thanks for lending me your ear and giving me your time!
Dear AnnieN. What a great surprise! You sound so great!!!!! I can feel you and YES, you will know exactly when the time is right. Just don’t wait tooooo long - the clock is ticking and things just happen to people when we least expect. If you can go for the kill - DO IT! I can see me in your shoes because I am pretty much like you in the “level headed” area - but I have known to blow up too! We, after all. are human and pent up with all kinds of emotions that come from the four winds constantly hitting on us. Family alone can break or make you! Let alone a friend. However, I know that YOU know that all is fine and things are working out smoothly. Let it flow. Feel your inner self with love and value the wonderful person you really are! I can feel you. Stay in the battle and you will see the light. Yes I am in Facebook - look for Olga Molina. LOL
Hey PauPau- I looked for you on facebook but there were like 400 olga molinas! lol
I wanted to send you a friend request. I sent you one on here but you have to confirm or add me. I also turned on email permission for you on here so you can see my email and add me here and on facebook if you like. If you prefer not to that is alright too. I just really have enjoyed chatting with you and if you add me on facebook you can see pictures of the cutest Baby ever!!! LOL
Trick, in name field put my e-mail and there I’ll be! olmo4664@ etc.,! See you there. your friend, Olga
well, i could use that trick but i dont have your email.LOL you would have to add me as your frind on help.com first and add its ok for me to email you otherwise help.com does not let me veiw your email address. I already added you as a friend so you could look me up on facebook with my email and send a request to me. whatevers easier. hope your having a great day.
this is in codes olmo4664 at hot mail etc….hope this works. I would like to know current situation…I send you a BIG friendly HUG.
Cell
littlenick
olmo466
Paupau
annien