anger help: Why me? - Help.com

Why you? Well, why not you?

You’ve plunged into victim mode. That’s what drives you crazy. You feel these things are done TO YOU. They’re not. They’re just changes in circumstances.

You’ve got all the power you need inside you. When you give in to anxiety, when you feel people are doing things TO YOU, then you rob yourself of the strength you already have. When you make a list of all the things you are worried about, you are attacking yourself, weakening yourself, feeding your anxiety.

Focus on the strength inside you and think of all the troubles you’ve coped with in the past. You’ll be fine. Maybe you’ll have to make sacrifices but we all do.

There’s no end to sacrifices. Maybe you have to give up your car and take a bus. Or carpool. Or take a commuter train. Maybe you have to get a roommate.

Your strengths are everything you’ve coped with in the past. You’re strengths are adapting to change, figuring out new paths, never giving up. We all have those strengths. But it’s hard to use them when we don’t practice. It’s like anything else.

I know you can do this. Your anxiety is what is bringing you down. Anxiety is just a bully. The good news is that it’s inside your head and you can tell it to shut up. You can focus on everything you’ve accomplished, every problem you have solved.

You have to develop an awareness for the negative thoughts in your head so you can shut them down faster and faster until they no longer hold you back.

Think of what you already have. You work, you get paid. Do you have enough for bills and sustenance?

I feel you, I’m really in a tough spot too! I don’t know what the say, if you could get a second job for a while, or start looking for a higher paying one that could help. But only you know your entire situation.

Willard, I soo feel you on your post about every one making it sound so easy. It never is when it is just you. My family keeps talking to me about me finding a job like thier answer will solve it all, when up until now I was the most responsible one. Now I’m in a really bad spot and I dont know how to deal with it, I feel uber lost and like you I am not getting it. whatever it is, I am lost.

It is not so easy. It takes work. Linuxya’s word are very wise words and it will be that easy for your one day.

Your depression is in control right now, and what we need to do, it get you in control. That is where you are lost, you do not know how to get control, or maybe you can’t because of chemical imbalance in your brain. But either reason, or both reasons combined, you can still regain control.

Did I give you the list of depressive types of thinking? I can’t remember. I will find them and paste them on this post.

—summery of depressive types of thinking—

1. ALWAYS/NEVER thinking: thinking in words like always, never, no one, everyone, every time, everything

2. FOCUSING ON THE NEGATIVE: seeing only the bad in a situation

3. MIND READING: believing that you know what others are thinking, even thought they haven’t told you

4. THINKING WITH YOUR FEELINGS: believing negative feelings without ever questioning them

5. GUILT BEATING: thinking in words like should, must, ought or have to

6. LABELING: attaching a negative label to yourself or to someone else

7. FORTUNE-TELLING: predicting the worst possible outcome to a situation

8. PERSONALIZING: investing innocuous events with personal meaning

9. BLAMING: blaming some else for your own problems. Or blaming yourself for someone else es problems.

Pay attention to you thoughts and see when you are thinking in these types of ways. Then you need to deny their truth, you need to argue with them.

Another thing, you need to stop saying things like:
“I can’t do this.”
“I’m going crazy.”
“I’m lost.”

When you noticed yourself saying those things or thinking those things, you can change them to things like:
“I can do this and I am going to do this.”
“I am confused and need a little help.”
“Help is out there and I will find it.”

Even if you do not believe the positive thoughts when you say them, keep doing it. Over time you will know how true they are.

Sometimes life doesn’t work out, sometimes it doesn’t work out for years and years in a row. But eventually you will find that everything goes well, maybe you fall in love, maybe you get the dream job, maybe something else wonderful happens. But until then you just need to slog it out through the abuse and hard times and anything else life throws at you. It will be worth it in the end…

I’ve been through so much myself but now my life is almost perfect… And if there’s anything in particular you need help with just ask…

good sites for upliftment: barefootdoctorglobal.com - Arnold Patent - in his official website look up articles page - really fantastic stuff that will help get you out of feeling so defeated. Also perhaps go to google books and read some of Grady Claire Porter’s ‘Conversation with JC VOL 3′ that’ll blow the cobwebs out of your habitual thinking patterns!
Also google Mike Dooley - he’s very impowering and funny too. When your brain’s beginning to frazzle with anxiety - DO something physical - this will disperse some of the energy build up - go running, do/learn yoga/ dance like a loony in the living room = anything - but DO SOMETHING.
A good multi B vitamin is really good for stress/anxiety also the homeopathic remedy ‘ignatia’ is excellent - I found it brilliant when I was in a terrible state a few years back. ‘Kalms’ another herbal remedy is also excellent. This stuff is not expensive and really helped me. Maybe read some of Louise Hay’s stuff. Honestly Willard there is so much help and guidance out there.
You are not alone in this is experience, it is far more common than you realise at present. Take heart and good luck. You will come through this.
All the very best to you, francesca.