I know exactly how you feel. You just have to be patient and hope for the best. Do you talk to your brother?
Yea, him and I are close, but hes struggling with this WAY much more than me. He has to fight himself physically in order not to go after my father
Anonymous
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3 months, 2 weeks ago (10 minutes after post)
please calm down!!!beleive me or not,once a while i had the same feeling about my dad but s.th bad happened…we were in trouble,a bad trouble…he suddenly changed his manner & played his roll more than a really good dad once a while i really hated 2 call him DAD,but now…i’m proud of him…we i mean all of my family member payed a lot 2 find out how much we love each other….stop hating ur dad,i hope the occasion never happen 2 u..an ocassion 2 understand:u have one dad in whole world & he’s ready 2 pay his life 4 u…
try being there for ur brother. it might make u feel a bit better about the situation. and also talk to him, its always nice to be close and share feelings about family problems when youre not sure who to talk to.
Your father sounds like a desperate man. Sometimes, the responsibility of being the only support for a family is too much for a man. That does not mean that his behavior is acceptable, but it might explain why he is so cruel. He simply does not know how to express his frustration in a better way.
Unfortunately, you are suffering because of his limitations. I understand why you are upset with him.
I am so sorry to hear that! No human being deserves disrespect like that. I may not know much but sometimes it is better for them to leave, but (in your situation)if the only source of money is fom him then I’m not sure what to tell you except for trying to talk to him alone. If you and your hlf brother or whoever just try to tell him that none of this is fair espeacially with threts like leaving all of you for another women is sickening. I don’t know if I helped you out at all but I hope trying might make a difference.
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honestly it seems like your dad is a son of a *****, that shouldn’t have been married or have children, you can’t help who you come from. And you must always respect them with words and ect. but you don’t need to respect him as a person. Once your older you will grow up and move out. It is really sad that your mother married such an ***. And i will pray for her.
Yea, Ill b there for my bro for sure. I talk 2 him all the time.
My dad has a history of selfish acts, and I have never forgave him for that, I never will. I remember b4 when We had beans to eat, not even enough for all of us, so we shared and we were all starving. Guess wut my dad did? He went out to Jack in the box, got himself a combo and ate it rite in front of us. He did even share a fry. I remember my grandma tellin my mom about wut happened the day my parents got married. I was already born, so They thought it was appropriate to get married cuz of it. My mom already had 3 other kids with this horrible man too. So the day of my mom and dads wedding, my dad came up to his mother-in-law, and said”U can take Ruby, Rudy, and Roselie to live with you so that Janelle(me)and Luz(mom) and I can be a happy family.” Now how fatherly is that? Huh? He would always promise me that we would do things together, go to disneyland, magic mountain, soak city, and all of those fun amusement parks. He promised everyday, and I was so happy and Looking forward 2 that day. That day never came. I was a very dissapointed child. I thought that this man was such a wonderful father, but he turned into this stone cold monster. I remember the way he used to yell at me, his eyes scared me so much that Id start crying, he wasnt very nice at all. He made everything my fault, even if I was a child. I didnt know better than to hold a cup of milk with both hands. I didnt know better than to turn the volume on the TV low. I didnt know these things but I was scared so much of him. I felt like running away whenever Isaw that face. It scared me much more than u could ever imagine. But now my fear has turned to anger and hate. I want him out of my life and I cant stand him being here anymore. I want him gone.
I can understand how you feel. but do you not see any reason for why your father would be like that? that is very as*h*le-ish of him and maybe u should talk to ur mom?
My dad was raised with an abusive father and a controling mother. My dad is also deaf, but his mother didnt know of it, so my dad got beat for 5 years whenever he “Ignored” my grandma. I can understand that this would effect him. I know that his father wasnt there for him, and that could have effected him also, but shouldnt he know better to be the father thathis father never was?
Maybe it is time that they seperated anyways. I’ve seen two many loveless marriages tear people apart, sometimes it isnt worth it.
Sometimes, it’s harder than it seems. You know, maybe nobody ever really helped ur dad. Have you ever tried talking to him?
ev3lyn_ wrote:
Sometimes, it’s harder than it seems. You know, maybe nobody ever really helped ur dad. Have you ever tried talking to him?
No, he never talks to me, so ive kept my distance. I dont wanna talk to him tho. Im fed up with all of his carelessness and the way that he acts like nothing happened. He never even says sorry. So screw him.
I know how you feel. But seeing as he has promised you maybe he didnt intend to d isappoint u, maybe he intended to lift your spirits. but if you do nt wish to speak to him, thats alright. just stay close to ur brother and speak to ur mom. see how she feels about it. and if u feel strong about wantin him out then explain to ur mom.
My mom already knows, but she strongly believes in the bible. Cuz apparently it says the 2 b seperated, someone had to have cheated first. I think that marriage is a serious thing and should b takin seariously, but the situation shes in rite now just seems worthless to continue the marriage. But she believes wut she believes. She just doesnt seem to understand how much it hurts us.
Try explaining to her how its affecting YOU. and that you know she believes in that but also that you feel its not right.. you know?
I did, but she listens 2 the bible more than she listens 2 me.
what about ur brother? would she listen to ur brother ? and you would not even want to try talkin to ur dad?
My whole family (not dad, i dont consider him family n e more) talked 2 my mom and we all feel the same way. but my mom doesnt. She is fed up with him too, but she doesnt wanna go “against” god
Have you or your mother talked with a priest or clergyman about what is going on in your home? If your mother is religious, it may very well be exactly what she needs to do. Religious leaders are trained to help people with these kind of problems.
Well i dont know much about god or the bible but she has to be happy and im sure God would want her to be happy. youre being a little harsh about ur dad and its understandable, i used to be like that… [i still recommend u talk to him ^^] but yea ill stop insisting on that. hehe. if anything, all u can do is wait. things will work out on their own. just keep ur mind busy.
I think she has, im not quite sure. Usually whenever she does come to talk 2 them, all they say is be patient and god will help.
ev3lyn_ wrote:
Well i dont know much about god or the bible but she has to be happy and im sure God would want her to be happy. youre being a little harsh about ur dad and its understandable, i used to be like that… [i still recommend u talk to him ^^] but yea ill stop insisting on that. hehe. if anything, all u can do is wait. things will work out on their own. just keep ur mind busy.
See, Ive been waiting for things to change, Ive given too much time into hoping that something will be better, but all we got was worse. I ve given this way too many chances. Chances that I dont think is deseved, so more isnt needed.
Sometimes change cant just happen u know? why dnt u, ur mom, and ur bro ALL try to help your dad be better and you ALL explain to him whts goin thru all ur heads?
ev3lyn_ wrote:
Sometimes change cant just happen u know? why dnt u, ur mom, and ur bro ALL try to help your dad be better and you ALL explain to him whts goin thru all ur heads?
I dont think he deserves the chance. Hes never proven to me that he actually cares about me. He tried to use me to sell things door to door b4. All he cares about is money. The only reason he hasnt left is cuz the house is under my moms name.
well maybe he is just stressin about money? you know? everybody is… hmmm what if… ur mom sort of has a break with him? like kick him out? lol. for a little. =P
Snakes_for_m wrote:
I think she has, im not quite sure. Usually whenever she does come to talk 2 them, all they say is be patient and god will help.
I suggest you go with your mother to help explain just how terrible the situation has become. It is worth a try, isn’t it? I don’t see how it could hurt and it might result in some helpful advice.
ev3lyn_ wrote:
well maybe he is just stressin about money? you know? everybody is… hmmm what if… ur mom sort of has a break with him? like kick him out? lol. for a little. =P
apparently thats not allowed in “religious” marriages
well ur momm is too religious xDD
well keep trying to convince her. and thats all u can do for now, try. and meanwhile jst focus on school and go out and see what ur brother needs. focus on ur life [besides home] a bit more. it can help.
c-eek wrote:
Snakes_for_m wrote:
I think she has, im not quite sure. Usually whenever she does come to talk 2 them, all they say is be patient and god will help.
I suggest you go with your mother to help explain just how terrible the situation has become. It is worth a try, isn’t it? I don’t see how it could hurt and it might result in some helpful advice.
See, I just want him gone. I want no part of him anymore. I look like him and thats all I am able to take. I just wanna know how I can make him get out of this house.
ev3lyn_ wrote:
well ur momm is too religious xDD
well keep trying to convince her. and thats all u can do for now, try. and meanwhile jst focus on school and go out and see what ur brother needs. focus on ur life [besides home] a bit more. it can help.
Thx for ur help
dunno if i helped, but i wish u the best 3
Listen I think that everyones childhood is messed up in some way, u seem to have an excuse to whatever the problem is. They have givin you so many options and you have said blah blah blah about eachone, you seem to know what you need to do.So just do it. If your father is willing to leave his children and wife just because he is either bored or evil, thats his right. Nobody or thing can change that. You must learn to understand its not your fault or any of your siblings of mothers. your father seems to be a very selfish person. So live there until your able to move out then treat him how he treats you.
First, how your father is treating all of you is not right. I do not condone that behavior, nor would I expect anyone to allow it to happen. However, I also believe in the same values as your mother. God’s design is for man and woman to be and stay married. The bible is very clear on the subject of divorce.
Your father is obviously having a hard time dealing with issues in his life. If his wife (your mother) has a disability, and he is responsible for keeping a roof over his family’s heads, that can be a very heavy burden.
I am not defending your father by any means. I too have also been hurt by those around me that were selfish. It is a hard road to travel, for everyone.
There will come a day that your father will realize that he has hurt the ones closest to him. It will be up to you to decide if you are willing to forgive him. The strongest of men are those who forgive their enemies.
All I can say is for you to pray, not just for your mother, for she is already close to God. Pray for your father, to recieve God’s grace. Only God can change a man’s heart, but it takes those around him to pray for it. I know you don’t think he deserves it, but God will always answer your prayers. If you pray for a good father, you will recieve one.
God Bless you. I will pray for you and your family.
looking_4_truth wrote:
First, how your father is treating all of you is not right. I do not condone that behavior, nor would I expect anyone to allow it to happen. However, I also believe in the same values as your mother. God’s design is for man and woman to be and stay married. The bible is very clear on the subject of divorce.
Your father is obviously having a hard time dealing with issues in his life. If his wife (your mother) has a disability, and he is responsible for keeping a roof over his family’s heads, that can be a very heavy burden.
I am not defending your father by any means. I too have also been hurt by those around me that were selfish. It is a hard road to travel, for everyone.
There will come a day that your father will realize that he has hurt the ones closest to him. It will be up to you to decide if you are willing to forgive him. The strongest of men are those who forgive their enemies.
All I can say is for you to pray, not just for your mother, for she is already close to God. Pray for your father, to recieve God’s grace. Only God can change a man’s heart, but it takes those around him to pray for it. I know you don’t think he deserves it, but God will always answer your prayers. If you pray for a good father, you will recieve one.
God Bless you. I will pray for you and your family.
I dont believe in god
looking_4_truth wrote:
He believes in you.
Hahaha, how do U know that? Ur not god. and god doesnt exist.
4 sure ur mom goes 2 church…so go talk with a priest & ask him talk 2 ur mom or ask him explain u related words of bible so u can convince ur mom…
Snakes_for_m wrote:
I did, but she listens 2 the bible more than she listens 2 me.
No of course I am not God, but I believe He created all of us and loves all of us, even those who do not believe and love Him.
I can understand why you would not believe, considering your situation. You may be asking yourself why would a loving God put your family through this. If this is happening, there must not be a God.
I will say this. Accepting Christ in your life does not mean that everything will be magically wonderful and easy. On the contrary, it will likely get harder. But when you experience haeartache and suffering, God will be beside you to help you through it.
“Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.” Peter 4:12,13
really nice words,really… :)
looking_4_truth wrote:
No of course I am not God, but I believe He created all of us and loves all of us, even those who do not believe and love Him.
I can understand why you would not believe, considering your situation. You may be asking yourself why would a loving God put your family through this. If this is happening, there must not be a God.
I will say this. Accepting Christ in your life does not mean that everything will be magically wonderful and easy. On the contrary, it will likely get harder. But when you experience haeartache and suffering, God will be beside you to help you through it.
“Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.” Peter 4:12,13
im not going to sit here and lie, dad used to be a drunk got home and beat mother, after he cheted on her and had kids with three other women mom threatened to leave he didnt listen. one day i began to get sick with hepatitis B my sister contracted it from me she drank from the same cup as me, a month later she passed away
:’( but this was 12 years ago she was 2 i was 6, dad suddently turned to God and changed his ways he didnt want to loose us now we aare way better mom and dad are together we moved to the us and dad changed his ways, pray to God he really does listen. i recomend you read the book 90 minutes in heaven by donnald piper it helped me A LOT. God bless
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I hate when people give god as an excuse for things. A bunch of medieval jargon is all it is. A way to explain things BEFORE science. Well we have science, and we have facts, and the facts are. Get a job, get emancipated, and get out. Live with some other family if you have to. Good luck. You’ll need it to make it into adulthood without some serious mental health problems.
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ev3lyn_
dakota_
Jennah Ranae
Snar
looking_4_truth
HARVARDgirl!! :)