I think I have anxiety but…. - Help.com

I’ve been there.

Medication only controls anxiety while you CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOUR. Medication will not solve the problem.

Anxiety is actually your brain acting the way you have trained it. Every time you are anxious, you back away from something. You retreat, you quit, you get through it as fast as you can to get it over with, you do something else, you do what’s easier rather than what you really want.

Every time you give in to anxiety you make it stronger. You are training your brain that when you feel anxious the only route out is to get away from what makes you feel that way. Your brain is doing what you have TRAINED it to do! You have taken the basic impulse and amplified it over time.

This is very common. The solution is not medication (although that can help in severe cases… but only to control anxiety while the person CHANGES their behaviour!). The solution is to persist with things that make you anxious until you succeed and feel relief. Yes, keep going until you finish and feel better. Keep it up to retrain your brain that the right path when feeling anxious is to persist with your goals and not to run away.

Some ways to help you persist are to set realistic goals and break them into pieces and complete each piece and celebrate it when you do it. Never NEVER NEVER beat yourself up for making a mistake. Work to do better the next time. Think of one small way you could improve. Any time you do something, celebrate it! Pat yourself on the back.

Perfectionism makes anxiety unbearable… fear of making mistakes. Well, the sooner you accept that we are all human including you, the sooner you can love yourself and others and free yourself of judgments. When you don’t judge yourself you no longer fear being judged by others… and your anxiety disappears.

You can do this!

Well, “sucking it up” is the wrong approach. It means fighting the fear. Don’t fight the fear. The key is to keep repeating to yourself that the anxiety is just a sensation and not let it get in your way. It’s a normal brain function. There is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. The more you fight it or try to ignore it, the worse it will feel.

The key is to accept it but not let in change you. Instead, use the anxiety as a way of feeling the excitement of life. This is the excitement you can ENJOY instead of fear. Instead of believing those sensations mean something bad is happening, recognize them as natural functions of your brain sensing newness. You can interpret it positively instead of negatively.

You can retrain your brain yourself. You can see a therapist if you want. I tried at least three different ones. They are expensive and I found them of very little use.

Get yourself some basic tools. They will give you a way of coping with anxious feelings:

- “How to start a conversation and make friends” by Don Gabor
- meetup.com to find social groups… sign up and go and keep going and smile and ask questions
- Men, Women & Relationships by John Gray

One of the problems with anxiety is you can get into a cycle where you need reassurance from someone and feel better when you get it. Ithappens over and over and you train yourself that you cannot do something on your own, you cannot cope without reassurance. Again, you can retrain your brain by doing things on your own, reading the books, practising, and making things happen.

This will serve you well in life.

You could have depression. It’s another possibility. Talked to your general practitioner and tell you about it than you parents will have no choice but to get you help.

You will probably have to wait until you are not feeling well. Or if you go to the doctor for a flu shot. Seize the opportunity to talk to the doctor about your problems and that your family doesn’t want to help you.

It will cost a normal office visit fee. If your family has insurance, than the therapy should be paid for, I don’t know what kind of insurance your family has but most do pay. Good luck.