Love help: how do i stop being possesive and insecure? - Help.com



This post left anonymously

how do i stop being possesive and insecure?

ok my girlfeind left me like 4 months ago, i realize now i caused it by being possesive and insecure, i really hate that side of me and i want to change it! what can i do? i miss her so much but dont think there is much hope at all with her any more, but still i do not wana make that mistake again in the future! any stories of people that have changed or been like that or what to do would be great….i really do wana change, i hate it :(

This open post was written 2 months, 4 weeks ago | V/U/S: 398, 5, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


Reciprocity (0) Reciprocation Failure -- The poster has NOT helped anyone else yet!

Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

Post Tags (3)

Love, breakup, change (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (5)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen
Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

aeolian mode offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 10 #
Rocklin, CA, US | 2 months, 4 weeks ago (10 minutes after post)

I was possessive when I didnt trust my ex.. I realized i had every reason to be because guys hit on her all the time…I really believe that when you trust your spouse,or girlfriend you wont be possessive.. There simply would be no reason .. The insecurity issue is another thing though… You need to get it together as a man.. you have to be in your power.. So to get there make sure you have a life outside a relationship.. IE.. strive for a career.. Work on your physical, emotional, and spiritual.. Make sure you enter a relationship with you intact.. If you dont you will be insecure and needy..Women hate that… You have to be in your power as a man….

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: In one word, can you give me your deepest thought?
Anonymous #
2 months, 4 weeks ago (17 minutes after post)

yeah alot of guys use to hit on my ex, she was gorgous! i think it boils down for me, that alot of girls had cheated on me in the past, i did trust my new gf as much as i could but there was still the thought of my old relationships in there wich neva helped me! i do go gym all the time and the last few weeks ive even started geting into my work alot more, i really have surprised myself actully! today for the first time in ages i actully felt confident, untill i saw my exs friend drive past…which struck all the feelings back again!i like what u said tho ” you need to be in your power as a man” that is very true and im working on it, thanks

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
aeolian mode offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 10 #
Rocklin, CA, US | 2 months, 4 weeks ago (22 minutes after post)

your welcome, I would add you as a friend if you wasnt annon…

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
Help me with: In one word, can you give me your deepest thought?
cosworth offline Verified User (3 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 4 weeks ago (1 hour, 1 minute after post)

this is me! not really sure how to add people on hear, im quite new to this site.

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
paulkwhit offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 1 month ago (1 month, 3 weeks after post)

Let me tell you as i am sure you are all aware that have this insecure problem as i have. it the most damaging thing to a relationship for both parties.

one side the bloke ( me in this case ) who is insecure is constantly worrying about if someone is lookign at her…etc and 2nd all this insecurity is a massivo turn off for the girl(s) in question in their eyes i believe it makes the guy look weak. It is a tough business and has taken me a long while to discover the main reason why i am like this.

Partly because i have been cheated on before, but mostly because i have a fear of rejection, which i can only put down to the fact i was apodted! Now this may sound like i am playing the marta, which i defo am not, as i am fighting back against these negative thoughts and doing my best to control them. So if any person reads this and relates to the whole insecure fear of rejection thing..hope this is of some help as to why you may be insecure!

Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
This account has been deactivated.

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.