About 2 months ago I met a guy…
We’ve been going out for 2 months now, and I have never met anyone that I get along better with than him. It’s weird, that usually it takes me a really long time to develop feeling for a guy, but somehow I managed to fall in love with him of all people. The reason I say that is because he has a girlfriend.
I know the things some people are going to tell me, like “get rid of him, you deserve better” and “us girls need to stick together” and “he will never leave his girlfriend for you”, and so on. I know all this, because I’m usually the one that tells them to my friends. The thing is that either if I brake up with him or keep this going, I’m utterly screwed (emotionally)!
Let me tell you our story. I met him walking home one morning after a night out. I was walking and all of the sudden I stopped and looked to my left, and there he was, sitting on a bench, looking at me. We started talking and he ended up walking me home, and when we got there we talked some more and the next minute we were kissing. A few minutes later he stopped and said that he had a girlfriend (I know, this is where I should have stopped, but I was taken over by lust). He left, and the next day he came to visit me, twice! Once in the morning and once in the evening. He told me that he never did anything like that in his entire life. He never wanted to see one person so badly.
The next few weeks flew by, and we talked together every day. He would call me, or just come over and talk. We didn’t make love until about 2 weeks after I met him. Then he said those words I had been dreading. Those three little words that always seem to get me into trouble. I….love…..you. I told him that he didn’t love me, that it was only lust, and if he was 100% sure about his feelings that then he could tell me. No sooner. I was always pretty held back with my feelings, because I didn’t want him to even get the chance of hurting me, but around the time he said he loved me, I knew that I was starting to fall in love with him as well so I ended the relationship.
It was the first time I had ever dumped anyone, and it was horrible. I felt so mean, but in the same time I knew I had to do it and not look back. I told him that I didn’t want to be that other woman, and if he wanted to be with me he could, but he couldn’t have his cake and eat it too. Then when he started mumbling things like “Now I feel as if I made you a promise, but I never did.” I got really angry and told him to not contact me again, and even if he saw me on the street he shouldn’t say hi to me. He told me later that he was pretty heartbroken afterwards.
The week after I felt pretty lousy, and realized that I was more in love than I thought. I was desperately heartbroken, and couldn’t stop crying. “After only a month!?” - I thought. I decided to send him an apology, because I felt awful about some of the things I had said to him during the ‘break-up’. Eventually we started talking again, and in a week we were back together, and still are.
I don’t get it. He says he loves me, he calls me every day, he meets me almost every day, we have the best chemistry, when we are together I catch him just staring at me, when we are out amongst people he finds ways to touch me, at times we nearly attack each other from longing. He has asked me, if he wouldn’t be in a relationship if I would like to live with him someday, and almost every time he leaves he asks me if I want him to stay longer.
Is this just some mindfuck? Why the hell doesn’t he just leave his girlfriend?
Am I really crazy to hope that one day he will leave his girlfriend and come to me?
This open post was written 3 months ago | V/U/S: 136, 2, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
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