mothers help: I’m 13 and I want to get my hair cut and my ears pierced. - Help.com

Well, tell her there is a reason they are there. They are professionals. True, some do a bad job, but it doesn’t hurt to try. Hair grows! & the part about “a wholesome girl”? Really? Everyone needs a haircut every now & then. I know she’s probably afraid of losing her little girl, but you’re growing up & cutting hair won’t make you less wholesome.
Also about the piercings- True, you’re not too young to get your ears pierced, But maybe she’s looking at the reason why-Because your friends did it. If I Was a mother myself, I’d stop myself & say no. You want it just because other people have it? I understand if you think it’s pretty (which I know you do, but I meant as a valid reason), or if you want to wear earings from I don’t know, Claires. But your mom might be getting ideas that since your top reason is because your friends have it, that your decisions will be based on weather or not your friends will be doing it.

I associate long hair with youth. The older a woman grows, the shorter she tends to keep her hair. I agree with the comment above that suggests your mom may be trying to help you hold onto your youth. I’ve seen so many young girls anxiously fretting away their teens trying to be in their 20s. Trust me on this. The 20s aren’t so much better. Every age is an age to be savored. Enjoy being 13. Now, you may say you can be 13 with shorter more fashionable hair, and I would agree to a point. It all goes back to motivation. Why are you after shorter hair? Are you trying to follow the crowd? If I had a 13-year old daughter, I would not encourage her to follow the crowd. As for earrings, I see no point in them. Lately, I’ve noticed a bunch of people with multiple piercings on each ear. In my opinion, unmarked and un-pierced is the way to go. So many people on the other bandwagon. Be unique. Do your own thing. Don’t worry about what others think, and they will worry about what you think instead.

scjarv wrote:
I associate long hair with youth. The older a woman grows, the shorter she tends to keep her hair. I agree with the comment above that suggests your mom may be trying to help you hold onto your youth. I’ve seen so many young girls anxiously fretting away their teens trying to be in their 20s. Trust me on this. The 20s aren’t so much better. Every age is an age to be savored. Enjoy being 13. Now, you may say you can be 13 with shorter more fashionable hair, and I would agree to a point. It all goes back to motivation. Why are you after shorter hair? Are you trying to follow the crowd? If I had a 13-year old daughter, I would not encourage her to follow the crowd. As for earrings, I see no point in them. Lately, I’ve noticed a bunch of people with multiple piercings on each ear. In my opinion, unmarked and un-pierced is the way to go. So many people on the other bandwagon. Be unique. Do your own thing. Don’t worry about what others think, and they will worry about what you think instead.

Off topic but those big ear holes & like 6 piercings on each ear are really unsanitary & ew… holy ears xD
& No, she’s not holding you back because she’s getting old herself. Well that can also be the reason. But like scjarv mentioned, girls now a day are trying to look & act like they’re older. I’ve seen 11 year olds dress in mini skirts which is a danger obviously. I’m 15, but nothing except for color options & hair length has changed on me (my hair’s right up on my shoulders). Try to compromise (sp?). Ask her not for a new hairdo, as she might be uptight still, but just to cut like 2-3 inches from the bottom. Just because you’re turning 13, that doesn’t mean you have to DRAMATICALLY change your appearance. Go little by little. As for “being you”, parents are more likely to disagree if you change too much in a little amount of time. I did that when I was 12 (goth phase in by 12;out by 14 because it was that pathetic, annoying & old) my mom denied it which I get completely because I was hopping from Tripp NYC pants to Manic Panic hair dyes. Incorperate what you like little by little. I eliminated the goth look & went comfortable. I knew my mom wouldn’t accept big changes so through out the school year, since I’m a boot addict, I incorperated the types of boots I love. From combat boots to Demonia. I also incorperated my love of over-accessorising with colors I like. She doesn’t complain when I do this. :)

Me.Myself.and.I wrote:
by the way, this is my first ear piercing and I’m almost definitely sure it’ll be my last one too. I have NO intention of getting like 6 huge holes in each ear or anywhere else on my body. that IS gross. I probably will be wearing studs most of the time and dangles for special occasions and maybe on Sundays for church.

If your mom is religious that could also be why. I was in a Christian (I’m not Christian though) academy for a year & a half & they did not accept earings or…well, any jewelry but watches. Just bring up the reasons why you want it in the first place & maybe she’ll think about it. If she says no, then just wait for like a month :). Waiting does not hurt. Also, a tip for when you DO get them pierced- If you have a pool…..put some antibiotics when you get out asap. I made the mistake of not doing that & I had to let them close & get them re-pierced 2 years later.

I doubt you care to hear it, but it sounds to me as if you’re very fortunate to have mature parents who care about you. So often, parents let their kids do whatever they want because it is the path of least resistance. No one wants a battle of wills with a teenager. No one wants to be in a fight at home. But good parents, set standards and hold their kids accountable to meeting them. It is not always about the actual standards as much as it is about setting limits. You are learning that there are other constraints in your life, and you have to adjust to those. You don’t get what you want, when you want it. This is a better lesson on life than many others learn. Instead, they are led to believe they can always have things their way immediately. They can’t, and when they move away from home, they are often devastated. The hair and earrings issues seems to be a small thing, but it is a good illustration. Dress and appearance expectations will be a part of your life for years to come. Workplace standards are not all that unlike parental standards. Welcome to the adult world.