divorce help: I am getting a divorce after 13 years. - Help.com

No! You do not have to be alone and she will not be the end of you. You have the strength to live on, and not only live on but to live a long and happy life. Their is hope for you and you can be happy. Mind says ‘I am nothing without her’ but this is just a projection, you were something before her and you can be something without her, you can be better than before. You never again have to compromise your life away, compromise your time away, compromise your future away. It’s all yours now! Life is yours again! You are free to dream again. Your no longer bound to another. Your future is now open! Your future is now yours to decide. Your future is undecided.. now that might sound scary but what it means is that you now have the potential to be ANYTHING and ANYONE it’s a fresh start to be the person you wish you always were. The problem with knowing the same people for a long time is that we feel forced to be consistent, the reality is that it hinders our growth. What life has offered you is the possibility to be anything, no one will turn around to you and say ‘hang on a second, that’s not you’ YES IT ******* IS! Me, I is whatever you want it to be. See the light, you have been given an opportunity few get. I have so much faith in your future! Live it.. BE! You have the chance to be anything. Stand strong, cast her off, brush it away and immediately embrace your new future. You deserve it. Better still seek to be more. Seek to be enlightened. Seek to be wise. Seek to be all that your heart desires. She is not the end of you. She was not their for the first 39 years of your life. Were you not before? So many wish they did not have family. The truth is that every situation has different qualities (both good and bad) don’t get bogged down in the twists and turns of mind telling you that now your lost. Look within and see that you are strong enough to stand alone, without her. She was not your beginning and will not be your end. Dream a new future into existence. It is NOT true that you are destined to a life of lonliness. We pick our own destiny. This moment gives birth to the next. Don’t even waste time getting over it. Decide that your gonna get over it in the end, but that you don’t even have the patience to wait, you may as well do it now. You want your new life, your new future, your new chance NOW and immediately embrace it. It is the belief that all these bad things will happen- that is all. I believe in you. Have faith. Move forward. Find something self-nourishing to occupy your mind for the time being because the tricks of mind… the myth of mind…

On that note I suggest you search Mooji on youtube, it might take a while to understand what he’s on about but he teaches how the mind will trick you, don’t let it rob you of your destiny. When you realise the reality of what mind is it will free you from this AND much more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIha0t… (copy and paste this into the URL to hear some Mooji).

You are not the first and won’t be the last to find to find yourself in this situation. That probably doesn’t make you feel better. But, only you can make this better. You have to be the change you want. Behave yourself into feeling better and having a good life. I’ve been where you are. It was hard. But if you find ways to interact with people in your community, you will find your way out of this. You are a child of the universe. You are where you are supposed to be. You will never be happy as long as your happiness depends entirely upon someone else. Join groups where you meet other people. Don’t go to large crowded places where you don’t know anyone. That will make you feel lonely. Find things you can be interested in, small groups, where you get to know the other people. Community is what you need now, and you can build your own community for friendship and support. Join a divorce support group. If you like to play scrabble, look for a board game group. Volunteer at the hospital. Doing good for others will make you feel a lot better.

Thank you for all the replies and help. I have been trying to think in those terms but I am always drawn towards a feeling of futility. I had my one chance of a companion for life, and what I can now make of my life will not give me any fulfilment or will not be what I want my life to be like.

Deeply sorry to hear of your situation. You made a full committment and now your world has come shattering down. I feel for you. We are divorcing for essentially ‘irreconcialable differences’ but I wanted to still try and make it work. She became disillusioned and then matters just spiraled out of control. We have no kids, thankfully so I cannot even start to imagine how you could move on, and no words can help to soften the emotional turmoil and utter despair you must feel. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.