Am I wrong at being annoyed/angry at them? - Help.com

Am I wrong at being annoyed/angry at them?

Just something trivial I want to rant about.
I’m engaged and am looking at wedding dresses with my mum, sis, mother-in-law to be, and sister-in-law to be (Not all at once though :-p ).

I have already seen a dress that could be the one with my mum and my little bro. My sis wasn’t there as she was too busy with her BF (And she is my maid of honour MOH). I wanted to show her but she was constantly busy and she always has an attitude around me when I do see her (Like a 16 yr old temper tantrum but she is 21).
So I arranged to meet with my mother-in-law to be and my sister-in-law to be to go and look at dresses too as my sister-in-law to be is also my brides maid. And this day is the only day in the next 3-4 months where they are both off from work.
However this date is also my sister’s graduation day (I didn’t find that out until 2 weeks after I already booked the day. And when I was told, I was also told that there wasn’t a ticket for me as it was the person and 2 guests, so my mum and bro had the tickets).
Now this day out is on Tuesday and has been book for a month now and I am looking forward to showing the in-laws to be the dress that could be the one and looking at brides maid dresses.
But then I got a call from my sis earlier that she wants me to rearrange the lot so she can come along too and she wants me to go to her graduation as our bro can’t go. thing is I’ve got plans for the following day so I can’t go to the graduation regardless (I live like 3hrs away but the journey is about 4hrs each way so by the time I get down there I have to come back again and I have no money so I can’t even a ford the train journeys).
I told my sis all this and that I can’t rearrange as the next time we meet up could well be next year and this style of dress stops in December (and I REALLY like this dress but I want to try others first before I buy it and see what other people think too).
So I told her that I kinda couldn’t rearrange but she insists that I try. I told her I would but I couldn’t promise anything. She still insisted that I do everything I could to rearrange.

So After talking to the in-laws to be it turns out no I can’t rearrange any other date. So now I have to tell my sis (Even though I’m annoyed at her that she tells me NOW that she wants me to do all this!) and I know her very well and I know she will have another tantrum and start going on at mum (to whom she lives with) that she feels all left out and how everyone is against her and more or less acting like a spoilt brat.

I am angry at her for leaving all this last minute and annoyed that she wont take “It’s can’t be done” for an answer. I’m sad I’m missing her graduation I really am but it can’t be helped. I was told I couldn’t go anyway.

Anyway, I told my mum all this, that I was annoyed that I was told NOW when I could have been told 2-3 weeks ago when I could have done something to rearrange the lot.
Then mum started to take my sister’s side and told me that I should rearrange everything regardless of what was agreed before hand. She wants me to drop everything and go to my sis’s graduation and make time for my sis. I always have time for her but this time it can’t be avoided.
So I’m annoyed at my mum too for pressuring me.

Please, someone tell me. Am I right or wrong to be annoyed at them because I’m feeling guilty for something that I just can’t change!

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Josh1:9 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (4 minutes after post)

Im not being mean just informative. nobody has the attention to read all this. make it short and sweat.

Im not being mean just informative. nobody has the attention to read all this. make it short and sweat.

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pinknfluffy198 5 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (9 minutes after post)

Well it can’t really be shortened as you need to know the whole story to get why I’m posting what I’m posting. And for me to get some honest help!
No offence but people that really want to help will actually read it.

Well it can't really be shortened as you need to know the whole story to get why I'm posting what I'm posting. And for me to get some honest help! No offence but people that really want to help will actually read it.

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Barbyman 5 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (12 minutes after post)

Go and sue them, get yourself a Lawyer…

Go and sue them, get yourself a Lawyer...

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jowylubsk 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (51 minutes after post)

1st thing) Your sisters a little jealous because your getting married and girls love all the attention that girls get when they are getting married. It’s no reason to feel angry at her though, just feel reassured in the fact that you understand the situation and what’s going on with her mindset.
2) no you shouldn’t feel guilty, if you can’t rearrange it then that’s that and she should grow up and stop being such a winger. Your brother can’t go anyway so what’s the problem with you not being able to. I think it’s a little unfair that you mum had a go at you but I have the same deal with my family, I have a moan about one of them to another and they can’t help but get defensive and then it feels like they are taking sides. As long as you watch how you behave very closely and continue to be really careful that your being fair and reasonable then you have nothing to feel guilty for. You should feel strong in the fact that your the one being grown up about the whole thing. Just apologise and say ‘I wish I could be there but I can’t, I love you and I’m really proud of you, I can’t wait to see the photos and hear all about it’. She doesn’t really need you there, you weren’t gonna be there anyway. It’s up to her if she makes a big deal out of it and if she decides it’s gonna ruin her day then it will, if she decides it won’t then it won’t. Sounds like she probably will let it but that’s something she’s gonna have to learn the hard way.

Though I must say I am a bit surprised you can’t rearrange it. Not having enough money is a good reason. Just being in love with the dress isn’t. But it sounds to me like your doing the right thing and thinking pretty clearly about it. As long as you don’t go over the top with ******** about your sis then you can feel good in your cool, calm and collected approach. Well done buddy!

1st thing) Your sisters a little jealous because your getting married and girls love all the attention that girls get when they are getting married. It's no reason to feel angry at her though, just feel reassured in the fact that you understand the situation and what's going on with her mindset. 2) no you shouldn't feel guilty, if you can't rearrange it then that's that and she should grow up and stop being such a winger. Your brother can't go anyway so what's the problem with you not being able to. I think it's a little unfair that you mum had a go at you but I have the same deal with my family, I have a moan about one of them to another and they can't help but get defensive and then it feels like they are taking sides. As long as you watch how you behave very closely and continue to be really careful that your being fair and reasonable then you have nothing to feel guilty for. You should feel strong in the fact that your the one being grown up about the whole thing. Just apologise and say 'I wish I could be there but I can't, I love you and I'm really proud of you, I can't wait to see the photos and hear all about it'. She doesn't really need you there, you weren't gonna be there anyway. It's up to her if she makes a big deal out of it and if she decides it's gonna ruin her day then it will, if she decides it won't then it won't. Sounds like she probably will let it but that's something she's gonna have to learn the hard way. Though I must say I am a bit surprised you can't rearrange it. Not having enough money is a good reason. Just being in love with the dress isn't. But it sounds to me like your doing the right thing and thinking pretty clearly about it. As long as you don't go over the top with ******** about your sis then you can feel good in your cool, calm and collected approach. Well done buddy!

jowylubsk 0 #
An Unknown Location | 3 months ago (56 minutes after post)

(sorry about the semi-swearing, word essentially means moaning)

(sorry about the semi-swearing, word essentially means moaning)

courtybubble 189 #
An Undisclosed Location | 3 months ago (6 hours, 34 minutes after post)

no, youre not wrong at all. this is your wedding, its important! and if you cant rearrange and cant afford it, well then you cant do it. she might have a tanty and whatever, but just ignore it. youre not there to have to deal with it anyways haha. just tell them how it is and say look if you cant deal then sorry but its not my problem.

no, youre not wrong at all. this is your wedding, its important! and if you cant rearrange and cant afford it, well then you cant do it. she might have a tanty and whatever, but just ignore it. youre not there to have to deal with it anyways haha. just tell them how it is and say look if you cant deal then sorry but its not my problem.

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