Love help: Dear ex. - Help.com

Dear ex.

A rant of the judgmental kind from a pushover… or a vent?

You said you don’t want to be judged.. yet you judge a lot of people. Here I am, judging you.

Don’t be desperate and find new girl ‘platonic’ friends on craigslist so much :/ you’re going to be deployed in a month, don’t advertise so hard yourself as this romantic creative type- you seem to be bragging, you never brag before, you’re ‘dating’ a girl from craiglslist and still trying to find more ‘girl’ friends to share your other interests with. If you really just want friends to hang out with to make things or do readings or whatever, it shouldn’t matter whether it’s guys or girls. You told me yourself you can’t have a platonic friendship with females, so isn’t it clear on what you want?

Where’s your independence? Where’s your self-proclaimed free-spirited personality? Where’s your self-proclaimed integrity? Where’s your honesty?

And then you brag to people how you ‘met’ these girls randomly. I’m sorry i accidentally know the truth, truly did not expect that and I feel so torn for you. No one will know, you’ll never know I know, and I wish I did not find out either.

Don’t end up being not yourself, I know you told me you never loved me, just cared about be a great deal as a friend throughout our relationship and I know me saying good bye and cut off contact was a bad move, but I couldn’t take it knowing you’re already trying to find new girls 2 weeks after we broke up, I know i was a hypocrite, I know I told you we’ll be friends as long as you want me to, but at this state I can’t be friends with you because I still like you a lot and cannot be true friends. I am not sure what do you mean by you don’t care about being true friends and just do, feel and think whatever I like, but I guess you don’t care whether I’m around or not. That stings. But I will be fine with it as I have to fix my own life, without you.

Please love yourself, when I met you you were a good guy, you were great, you were humble and said you have integrity, why the desperation, why the lies? Why the desperation to make a lot of new only-female friends? You never loved me, you said so, so I doubt it’s because of me. I do miss our times together where we just share our works and do projects together, and our travelling. You never miss me, you said so. It hurts but I will be fine. I wish you missed me.

I’m sorry I’ve been very insecure throughout the relationship, you cheated on me with her, I forgave you but I guess I didn’t. I convinced myself I would be fine, but i guess I wasn’t. You lied a couple times to me did not help at all as well.

You don’t have much respect for me as a friend because I’m such a doormat. That’s why I have to get away from you and regain my self-love. I am sorry I am such a hypocrite post-break up.

You are a great guy when you’re doing your stuff from purely from your own heart and your passion. I am not sure since when you seem to keep trying to impress people with your creation, advertising yourself so much and using your creative endeavors to impress the girls. Maybe you have changed. Maybe you want to change to be social. MAYBE this is the REAL you. If that’s the case, good luck, I hope you will find your true love just like you said… Just please, someday remember that you can’t have true love if you don’t open yourself to her, or accept her for the way she is, or keep running away from the slightest problem and going for the easy way out.

Don’t make girls fall for your ’show’. Make them all for the real you.

I really loved you. I regret for not standing up for myself. I will still be looking at your online portfolio site from time to time because I genuinely enjoy your photographies and artworks. I hope you don’t lose your passion to pride. Me, I’ll be moving on, focus on myself, job, work, my artworks and stop being a pushover in a relationship. In a way I thank the circumstances, but I do miss our times as friends. Someday we may become friends, maybe not, who knows, I certainly wouldn’t mind, providing we’ll still have the same interests and passion in art, travel and stuff. Despite all the things I’ve found out about you, you’re not really that bad of a dude. You tried. I am sorry you ‘liked’ me for what you think I could be, not for what I was.

Knowing you though, I know you will never reach out for me. Too bad, but I have to respect my feelings for now.. even though I miss you and our friendship, rather than our romantic times together.

I’m being judgemental, and i know your life is not my problem anymore and this sounds so terrible. For the last time, I am sorry.

This open post was written 2 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 140, 2, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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