~willard~ invited 15 users to read this post 2 months, 2 weeks ago.
I’m sorry :( I know it’s tough but at least she isn’t across the country or something. At least you can see her still! But I still understand how you feel. It will take time for everyone to get adjusted. Until then just try to keep busy and keep in contact via phone, email, etc.
Thanks Nat. I just feel so alone…. :’(
~willard~ wrote:
Thanks Nat. I just feel so alone…. :’(
but you aren’t alone! you still have her and you have your boyfriend and us, etc! I know it’s tough. It’s new so it takes time.
She hasent even moved over there yet but shes staying with her dad till she can move next weekend. I cant go way out there to see her… im just so sad… i feel like im being so selfish!!!!
And your the only one who has replied…. i feel lonely ALL the time and just NEED to talk and nobody is usually here… or my sob story just pushes them away…
~willard~ wrote:
She hasent even moved over there yet but shes staying with her dad till she can move next weekend. I cant go way out there to see her… im just so sad… i feel like im being so selfish!!!!
it’s understandable. when i was younger we thought my sis was going to move to California….i’m in NS, Canada we wouldn’t have seen her barely and we were all really upset. so it’s ok to be sad. it’s an adjustment for everyone! it takes time to get used to the new situation.
~willard~ wrote:
And your the only one who has replied…. i feel lonely ALL the time and just NEED to talk and nobody is usually here… or my sob story just pushes them away…
i’m sorry :( you can always shout me if you need to talk. what about your bf? can you talk to him?
IDon'tEverQuit invited 7 users to read this post 2 months, 2 weeks ago.
wow there!
Now why are you getting yourself all in a tizzy wozzy here?
Of course you are going to miss mom. And here’s a big hug for how you feel x
But…
here’s what I do to keep in touch with far-flung family and friends. Including my mother!
First, kit yourself up with a webcam, headset with microphone, messenger live and a hotmail account or something similar from another provider. Get your mom to do the same!
It’s a GREAT way of keeping in touch. I leave mine on all day, when I hear the little bing announcing that mom is sending a message I simply go to the computer in the same way I would go to the front door! We wave hello, share recipes, swop photos, she shows me her new outfits… it’s great.
Technology really has made such a difference to how things are now. Embrace it. And it’s free apart from the initial purchase of the equipment (which you probably have already!)
Don’t be too sad. It’s a whole new adventure for you both.
mumstheword wrote:
wow there!
Now why are you getting yourself all in a tizzy wozzy here?
Of course you are going to miss mom. And here’s a big hug for how you feel x
But…
here’s what I do to keep in touch with far-flung family and friends. Including my mother!
First, kit yourself up with a webcam, headset with microphone, messenger live and a hotmail account or something similar from another provider. Get your mom to do the same!
It’s a GREAT way of keeping in touch. I leave mine on all day, when I hear the little bing announcing that mom is sending a message I simply go to the computer in the same way I would go to the front door! We wave hello, share recipes, swop photos, she shows me her new outfits… it’s great.
Technology really has made such a difference to how things are now. Embrace it. And it’s free apart from the initial purchase of the equipment (which you probably have already!)
Don’t be too sad. It’s a whole new adventure for you both.
That is a good way to keep in touch. Sadly neither my mother or i have computers nor can we afford them… but thanks for the idea
But you have access to a computer now? See if you can get hold of a webcam from a second-hand store (they’re not expensive) or else try a swopshop.
Messenger live can be used on any computer and the download is free and safe.
~Nat~ wrote:
~willard~ wrote:
She hasent even moved over there yet but shes staying with her dad till she can move next weekend. I cant go way out there to see her… im just so sad… i feel like im being so selfish!!!!
it’s understandable. when i was younger we thought my sis was going to move to California….i’m in NS, Canada we wouldn’t have seen her barely and we were all really upset. so it’s ok to be sad. it’s an adjustment for everyone! it takes time to get used to the new situation.
~willard~ wrote:
And your the only one who has replied…. i feel lonely ALL the time and just NEED to talk and nobody is usually here… or my sob story just pushes them away…
i’m sorry :( you can always shout me if you need to talk. what about your bf? can you talk to him?
She already left once… when she moved here to arizona and i stayed with my dad. I moved down here after i graduated high school to have my own life and to be closer to her and now shes leaving! Im NOT mad at her atall in any kind of way, im just so sad! Im on the verge of tears anytime i think about it! Im going to miss her so much! I cant believe this is hitting me so hard! I dont know what to do!
mumstheword wrote:
But you have access to a computer now? See if you can get hold of a webcam from a second-hand store (they’re not expensive) or else try a swopshop.
Messenger live can be used on any computer and the download is free and safe.
I have messenger already, i know she doesnt and the computer im on now is my work computer which i cannot connect a webcam to… I know your just trying to help and i aprreciate it. I really do.
~willard~ wrote:
~Nat~ wrote:
~willard~ wrote:
She hasent even moved over there yet but shes staying with her dad till she can move next weekend. I cant go way out there to see her… im just so sad… i feel like im being so selfish!!!!
it’s understandable. when i was younger we thought my sis was going to move to California….i’m in NS, Canada we wouldn’t have seen her barely and we were all really upset. so it’s ok to be sad. it’s an adjustment for everyone! it takes time to get used to the new situation.
~willard~ wrote:
And your the only one who has replied…. i feel lonely ALL the time and just NEED to talk and nobody is usually here… or my sob story just pushes them away…
i’m sorry :( you can always shout me if you need to talk. what about your bf? can you talk to him?
She already left once… when she moved here to arizona and i stayed with my dad. I moved down here after i graduated high school to have my own life and to be closer to her and now shes leaving! Im NOT mad at her atall in any kind of way, im just so sad! Im on the verge of tears anytime i think about it! Im going to miss her so much! I cant believe this is hitting me so hard! I dont know what to do!
realize that it’s ok to be sad. it’s understandable. can you talk to your bf? also, keep busy. work, see your man, do chores and get a hobby to occupy yourself. it really helps.
Nat - My boyfriend and i can only text but he doesnt have a job yet so i can talk to him whenever. He just woke up so hes texting me now and saying the same thing. I get it i really do! I can see her if i can afford to drive over there but i wont be able to that much.
ANd i had a hobby. I had a passion actually… but my camera got stolen… so so much for the love of my life… and i cant afford a camera. I didnt even buy the one i had! It was a gift!
~willard~ wrote:
Nat - My boyfriend and i can only text but he doesnt have a job yet so i can talk to him whenever. He just woke up so hes texting me now and saying the same thing. I get it i really do! I can see her if i can afford to drive over there but i wont be able to that much.
ANd i had a hobby. I had a passion actually… but my camera got stolen… so so much for the love of my life… and i cant afford a camera. I didnt even buy the one i had! It was a gift!
But you live with your bf don’t you? So you can talk to him in the evenings and stuff? If you have to, take the bus to visit her! It’d be a pain but it would be worth it! Well ask your family to pool together and get you one for xmas or find a cheaper hobby that will keep you occupied.
~willard~ wrote:
Nat - My boyfriend and i can only text but he doesnt have a job yet so i can talk to him whenever. He just woke up so hes texting me now and saying the same thing. I get it i really do! I can see her if i can afford to drive over there but i wont be able to that much.
ANd i had a hobby. I had a passion actually… but my camera got stolen… so so much for the love of my life… and i cant afford a camera. I didnt even buy the one i had! It was a gift!
can she drive to see you?
This is going to be good for you. You are ready to be on your own with out your mother close by. This is going to force you to look outside your family for friendship and emotional support. It is going to help you grow as a person.
Plus it gives you a nice place to visit on holidays. Its not too far really. You will see. I used to live 3hrs away from my family and I thought it was far. Now I live over 8hrs away and I realize how close 3hrs is.
~Nat~ wrote:
~willard~ wrote:
Nat - My boyfriend and i can only text but he doesnt have a job yet so i can talk to him whenever. He just woke up so hes texting me now and saying the same thing. I get it i really do! I can see her if i can afford to drive over there but i wont be able to that much.
ANd i had a hobby. I had a passion actually… but my camera got stolen… so so much for the love of my life… and i cant afford a camera. I didnt even buy the one i had! It was a gift!
can she drive to see you?
Yeah she can drive to see me. We both love going on drives so it would be fine.
Yes i live with my boyfriend so i see him all the time. And i have another hobby but photography has been my passion. It has been with me since i was a little girl. Its the only thing that has been with me since then is what my therapist said this last saturday. Its been the only constant in my life when nothing else ever has been…
~willard~ wrote:
~Nat~ wrote:
~willard~ wrote:
Nat - My boyfriend and i can only text but he doesnt have a job yet so i can talk to him whenever. He just woke up so hes texting me now and saying the same thing. I get it i really do! I can see her if i can afford to drive over there but i wont be able to that much.
ANd i had a hobby. I had a passion actually… but my camera got stolen… so so much for the love of my life… and i cant afford a camera. I didnt even buy the one i had! It was a gift!
can she drive to see you?
Yeah she can drive to see me. We both love going on drives so it would be fine.
Yes i live with my boyfriend so i see him all the time. And i have another hobby but photography has been my passion. It has been with me since i was a little girl. Its the only thing that has been with me since then is what my therapist said this last saturday. Its been the only constant in my life when nothing else ever has been…
well maybe your bf and family can pool together and get you a new one and you can get back to it :)
Well, now you have to think that it’s time for your independence and for your autonomy to start full throtle now. Are you ready?
littlenick wrote:
Well, now you have to think that it’s time for your independence and for your autonomy to start full throtle now. Are you ready?
No..
Now you have to make yourself ready. It’s time to fly on your own. You need to.
I bet u will miss her. But she is not leaving your heart hun.
It might not be as bad is u fear. And if it is… u can always move to be close to her.
Predicting heartache is as good as getting it.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe it will cause u to meet someone really special u otherwise wouldnt have.
With all that is going on in my life, the last thing i need is less support around me and she was my number one…. I dont know how i can do this alone! I have my boyfriend yes but i need her… shes the encouragement i need everyday…
But you also realize that there will come a day when she’s not here anymore and I don’t mean just far away. Learn to let go. I’m sorry.
~willard~ wrote:
With all that is going on in my life, the last thing i need is less support around me and she was my number one…. I dont know how i can do this alone! I have my boyfriend yes but i need her… shes the encouragement i need everyday…
You can do this!!!!! Again… Predicting heartache is as good as getting it.
It wont be as bad as u fear.
Infact your mom may be better able to support u from where she is happy.
Try to to the pro’s not just the con’s
littlenick wrote:
But you also realize that there will come a day when she’s not here anymore and I don’t mean just far away. Learn to let go. I’m sorry.
This is true.
littlenick wrote:
Now you have to make yourself ready. It’s time to fly on your own. You need to.
This is true also. You know you have a boyfriend that you love and who loves you. I’m assuming that you’ll end up married eventually…..you can’t sit there and tell him he isn’t number one to you….
You guys are all right. I will just have to let go…
My mother once said to me…
“You have to let go of my apron strings now”.
And then she said…
“But don’t worry, I’m still holding onto your hand by your glove-elastic..”
(I was off to another country to study and at the tender age of 18 STILL had my gloves linked by elastic through my coat sleeves!)
What she meant was that although you’re letting go, it’s always possible to bounce back and forth now and then!
mumstheword wrote:
My mother once said to me…
“You have to let go of my apron strings now”.
And then she said…
“But don’t worry, I’m still holding onto your hand by your glove-elastic..”
(I was off to another country to study and at the tender age of 18 STILL had my gloves linked by elastic through my coat sleeves!)
What she meant was that although you’re letting go, it’s always possible to bounce back and forth now and then!
Thank you. Thatys very nice encouragement… its just hard. I had to let go of her once already when i was younger… kind of didnt think i would have to do it again…
After a few weeks you will get into a routine with things, you can always have a good chat either on the phone or skype as well!
Then once a month go over for a visit.
It will be all good in the long run, you never know you may move there to 1 day
Always remeber she is in your heart,
Because she is far away set some rules; make sure you know what you can or can not expect: it makes things less confusing and stressful - it’s a bit like a long distance relationship, there’s still things you can do together not just send messages and talk on the phone; use Skype or some online messenger and watch a movie or some TV at the same time together.
Also, maybe it’s not ideal, I know I can start drooling when I see a great camera.. but a cheap point and shoot just for now might be worth it? Or maybe you can lend someone elses camera?
And yes, letting go.. but if you’re not ready, you are not ready.. so why not stay close if you can find a way?
Everyone says to let go, and in time it will happen but at first you might need some extra help, because it is difficul. And I imagine it’s not easy for her too, to leave you out there in Arizona.
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