Hi, I need some wisdom, I have been dating 1 girl for 5 years - Help.com

Lol, no she dosn’t need more money, she makes close to what I make and has no real bills (cell phone). She dose want more of a commitment, She no longer likes the idea of me having one foot in the single lane(psychologically single) and one in the commitment lane, she says I don’t include her in the other half of my life, which I have not had for over 3 years, she says I won’t introduce her to my friends (under stand my friends are female and always have been)most live 2 to 8 hours away and my only communication with them is text an email. You are right though, she says that she agrees with me that a government marriage is not needed but several couples we know are and I think it is a contributing factor.
I think I have compromised to much of me already. I have been married twice before,(both divorces were in my favor) one wrote 41,000.00 in bad checks and the other left me with 234.00 in my savings/checking, sad part is I’m still friends with them. (call me mister softy)
Until “B” came along my outlook was all about ME and whats MINE is MINE, I was not going to loose everything I earned again.
Trying not to play the “feeling used” card directly, it tends to hurt more than help. She dose want to go to counseling, I will go but I think it will hurt more than help, if the counselor happens to not see it from her side.

Anonymous wrote:
Maybe she just means that she wants to be married. I know that it’s old fashioned, but if I were in her shoes, I’d want that too. I’d want to know that it was a serious relationship that was leading somewhere, instead of feeling that it was a “why pay for the cow, when you can get the milk for free” type of situation. You sound like a really nice guy. She’s lucky that you not only supporter her, but also her child and her gf. Maybe they should pay at least some rent so that you don’t feel so used? (just a suggestion)You two can probably work it out. I only say that bc there has got to be something to it if you have been together for that long. Good Luck!

There is nothing wrong with being “Old Fashioned” and in the past I have commented to her about a church wedding but never again a government wedding.
Part 2 of your reply is kind of funny because I pay for the cow and the milk, lol
Part 3 of your reply, as of 2 months ago I started letting the girls live in my cabin and I am charging 100.00 a month just for principle, I don’t mind giving if I have it to give so I don’t feel used by the girls, heck they’re just kids. I need money to pay my bills but other than that I don’t need it to make my world go around, just respect for me and my property along with a little equality, I can go for ever.
Part 4 This is why I am confused, for 5 years she has accepted me for who I am and lived off me for 3 of those and can’t see enough commitment. Thanks for the reply Anonymous #

What is the difference between the two types of wedding? (I’m curious)

I think that maybe I should have worded that second part a little differently. Maybe she just feels as though you aren’t really interested in marriage bc you already have all that you want in a relationship. Perhaps she thought that your views on marriage would change after being together for a while. (It seems to be a likely scenario.)

HAHA. I was thinking a 100$ but didn’t write it. I agree, just kids. Paying something just gets them to appreciate and be responsible. If they broke or ruined your stuff, I might have said something different.

I don’t really know what to say about the last part. Maybe she didn’t realise in the beginning how much it would bother her. Go talk with her. Ask her. See what she says. I wish you luck
P.S. You’re welcome :)[/quote]

What is the difference between the two types of wedding? Good question. One you have a joining of two people as one in the eye of the Lord until death do you part, as it was meant to be and the second a joining of to people in the eyes of the government until taxes are payed and the divorce lawyers rip your life apart and divide up your assets. One is about love the other about money.

No the kids are good people and keep an orderly house,as well as collage grads can, lol.

I’m sure she thought I would change and I have much more than I thought I would, but apparently not enough. I have always joked with her that my theme song is “Free Bird”