Relationships help: My girlfriend has anger issues and she knows this as well as I do. - Help.com



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My girlfriend has anger issues and she knows this as well as I do.

She treats the people closest to her like crap whenever she has a blowout. I’ve tried everything, I’ve put a ton of time and effort into helping her and helping us, and nothing seems to work. So I tried talking to her sister and her good friend (her friends, even her good friend know very little about her deepest issues, she keeps a lot of it to herself). So her friends agreed that she has anger issues and treats those closest to her badly when it happens. I approach her about it and is very upset that I’ve talked about her problems with her friends. What the hell do I do now? All I’ve tried to do is help her and our situation and I get chewed for it.

This open post was written 2 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 581, 2, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Subscribe to Replies | Report Post


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Anonymous #
2 months, 3 weeks ago (26 minutes after post)

well she probably doesnt like that you went to her friends rather thatn sat her down seriously and talked about it… i doubt your girlfriend means to treat you like crap… but when we get stressed out we get snappy… and you have to remember that she might be less aware of it.. my girlfriend gets snappy at me as well when she gets angry or frustrated.. but im there for her regardless i dont say anything because i dont want to put extra stress on her… and i know she doesnt mean it.. and when im angry i NEVER EVER snap at her because i care too much to get mad at her for anything hehe.. and i also know she didnt make the problem for me.. and talking to her always makes me feel better… but if you REALLY dont like the way she acts when she gets mad try to jsut be calm and forward and say baby i dont like the way you talk to me when you get angry.. and let her know you dont try to put any additional stress on her but that you just want to be there for her to give her that release.. sometimes man.. all you can do is be there for when they need a hug.. but i wouldnt have went to her friends if i were you.. i would apoligize for that.. but just remember be calm and dont yell and act all butthurt.. be honest and passionate

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linuxya offline Verified User (2 years, 9 months) Long Term User Shouts: 15 Add Friend #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 3 weeks ago (42 minutes after post)

Anger comes from reality not meeting her expectations. The problem is she expects the world to be the way she wants it and gets upset when it is different.

The basis of anger is anxiety. When people face a situation they don’t expect or fear they can’t deal with, they feel anxiety. Some people are upset at feeling anxious and so they lash out at other people, blaming them for making her anxious.

What she needs to do is recognize that when she feels anxious it is not anyone’s fault. It is a sensation INSIDE HER HEAD, a sensation she must learn to deal with. She must practice breathing deeply, longer and longer over 10 or 15 minutes. She must not allow herself to blame anyone including herself for problems. She must learn not to be a perfectionist (a person who believes there is no value in anything that isn’t perfect).

Time for tough love and hese practical tips.

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