Love help: Its been over a year since me and my ex broke up, and I’ve been dating someone new for 7 months. - Help.com

u don t, its a learnin experience unfortunately
gd lk luvee
Xx

i know it is, but i thought that by now i would stop thinking about him everyday, its with little things. i’ll see a green shirt and think of him, or speak about martial arts and think of him, every little thing.

How did you break up with your ex and are you still in touch with him? That could shed some light.

Don’t talk to him

theoratica wrote:
How did you break up with your ex and are you still in touch with him? That could shed some light.

Well .. we were arguing, and I sort of just said .. its over I’m done.. but the thing was we broke up multiple times.

We broke up because he was accusing me of something which wasn’t true, it was a rumor, and he found out eventually that it wasn’t true…

but that last time we completely cut off, didn’t speak for months. he started to talk to me again once he found out i was dating someone new, and i thought it would’ve been easy to be friends with him, but it really was hard to see him.

we do keep in contact, try to keep civil.. but i just don’t want to remember him, its hard to be friends with him.

i was tired of being accused .. we have occasional talks

Well, if you want to forget about him you have to completely cut ties so the process can start. At the same time, if you think about him all the time, maybe you have stronger feelings for your ex than you think. Now you have a boyfriend, you have to be fair to him, but if a few months down the road you’ll be thinking about your ex again more seriously, then at that point it wouldn’t be fair to your current bf either. It also sounds like you got into another relationship rather quickly, you didn’t give yourself time to ‘forget’.. sorry I got side tracks, but in my opinion the only way is to cut ties or if that’s not possible, like the case with me and my ex gf, then you just have to let time fixes it, somehow.. how long were you with your ex?

theoratica wrote:
Well, if you want to forget about him you have to completely cut ties so the process can start. At the same time, if you think about him all the time, maybe you have stronger feelings for your ex than you think. Now you have a boyfriend, you have to be fair to him, but if a few months down the road you’ll be thinking about your ex again more seriously, then at that point it wouldn’t be fair to your current bf either. It also sounds like you got into another relationship rather quickly, you didn’t give yourself time to ‘forget’.. sorry I got side tracks, but in my opinion the only way is to cut ties or if that’s not possible, like the case with me and my ex gf, then you just have to let time fixes it, somehow.. how long were you with your ex?

the crazy thing is, we were only together 6 months.. before him i was with someone for 2 years… and i did give it time.. i waited almost a year before i started to date again .. i rejected any guy that even tried to talk to me.. i ended up with my current boyfriend because we started out as friends..

I hear you! I was with my ex-gf for only six months too and still can’t get her out of my mind. Like your story, even though I had dated many before, she was my first love too.. and even though it’s been seven months since we broke up, still can’t get her out of my head. I still don’t want to date others.. I guess the solution is really to cut ties/memories completely. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t be able to do that anytime soon, lol.

oh no i’ve been trying.. i do not ever want to be with him ever again, omgoodness the arguments. he was the ONLY person that could EVER get a rise out of me. i am so super mellow, and barely ever argue or yell. he made me do it almost everyday. i said so many mean things to him in our arguments, and i never speak about people like that. he used to make me pull out my hair, and i would want to just throw him off a cliff. i don’t know what it is, i guess it was just great making up.

the guy i’m with now .. is amazing, he makes me happy, we don’t argue often, we can seriously just kick back and play video games together, or go out running together.. i love him like crazy, i honestly love him more than i’ve ever loved anyone else .. but its like .. why do i still think of my ex everyday..

the way we broke up was very cut throat, and i don’t know how to get closure. we’ve had deep conversations about it plenty of times, but it never seems to help. at times i wonder if im suppose to be with him, or if it was just the passion, or the way things ended.. i loved him, but it was a very passionate relationship.. and it was all so fast went away in the blink of an eye.

he said i love u first, and i didn’t until a few months after him, and i ended up being the one who fell the hardest. he really broke my heart, even tho i broke up with him. sometimes i’ll think back, if he had trusted me, things would’ve been so different, but then i remember i would’ve never met my bf now, and we would probably be arguing all the time.

ugh, im explaining my whole love life story here ..
i can’t even talk to my “best friend” about him, she was always flirting with him. what a jerk huh? can’t blame her, his body was amazing.

and obviously i can’t talk to my bf about him, he’ll get pissed. i think it just feels good to talk about it.

It definitely feels good to talk about it.. and you are right, never say anything to your current bf, he will get pissed. From what it sounds like, arguments, lack of trust, etc., that was a really poisonous relationship for your soul. I think you are much much better off with your current boyfriend. So why is that despite your deep conversations with your ex you can’t get a closure? I am mean, I can’t never get a closure with my ex because I want to be with her, but in your case, you don’t even want to be with him.

i know.. its so weird, and for once i can’t fix it. i guess i just always felt like he never tried hard for me, or ever fought for me. when i first started dating my current bf, my ex started to come around, and when me and my ex were hanging out, my current bf came over. i could tell it bothered my ex, because he said he had to make a phone call, but he really didn’t. my current bf was hanging out with a few of my other friends, and i followed my ex, and he was just laying down on my bed. i felt like crying, it felt so crazy. i was waiting for him to just say something, but he never did.

we kind of just left it at that.
i wish i could just take out my memories!