abuse help: Why do I miss my violent ex and how can I stop myself missing him? - Help.com

You need to make new memories in your life. Your board. Go to college and take something up, anything. Just get your mind busy on other things.

It’s natural. Bad habits die hard. And he was a bad habit that you had and you miss him. Including the bad treatment he gave you. What are you doing about it?

You’re attracted to someone abusive because you don’t feel worthy of the love, respect and affection you actually deserve.

The key here is not to worry about having low self esteem. Instead, acknowledge that you need to develop some coping skills: you need to build a network of supportive and loving relationships with people (volunteer, join social groups, sign up to classes, join exercise groups), you need to understand what kind of love you deserve (read When good men behave badly and also Men, Women & Relationships). You need to build your self confidence with achieving little goals– exercise groups that are working towards a goal (ie. 5k race, 10k race etc.) are fabulous for this.

Just because you have feelings about this guy doesn’t mean anything. You probably feel more secure having a “strong” man around to “protect” you. Maybe you had poor role models for female behaviour and male behaviour at home.

But if you follow my suggestions, you will rebuild yourself AND understand male and female dynamics much better.

That guy made your self steem go down all the way to basement.

O_o
emm…try thinking about all the times he bashed you in the face? if youve forgotten how much it sucked, smack yourself in the face witha hammer and you should get it.