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I want him back!
My breakup just happened recently. He was my best guy friend before we got into a relationship, and when we were best friends, I made the mistake of telling him about another guy I had been with back then. I even told him I slept with the guy. What I didn’t know was that my best friend had feelings for me, and he was pretty shattered over what I told him. Nevertheless, nature took its course and we got into a relationship. From the start, he’d tell me that he wasn’t sure about the relationship because of my “past” (I have had 2 boyfriends, and I am not a virgin). He said he had trouble accepting/getting over my past. I tried to assure him and explain to him that he was my present and would be my future, and the past didn’t matter anymore. He was pacified for a while.
He then went overseas for a couple of months. The first month was good; we e-mailed and called each other regularly. When it came to a month before his return, though, he suddenly disappeared. No calls, no e-mails, no SMS, nothing at all. Initially, I thought he was really busy with work so I didn’t bug him either. But days turned into weeks. And I realised that it could be either: he was in big trouble, or he didn’t want this relationship anymore and tried to take the easy way out. The latter was the case. As I found out, two days before my birthday. He had come back, and asked to meet me. We met over a few drinks. My nervousness made me drink too much, and I eventually became very tipsy. It was then that he told me: this relationship has to stop. You don’t fit into my life anymore. I’m now much more clear about what I want in my life. Needless to say, I made a complete **** of myself and wailed and threw up (blame it on the alcohol, they heightened my emotions!).
I tried to get in touch with him a few times after that. He just said we should remain acquaintances. Nevermind that our friendship, before we had gotten into a relationship, spanned 16 years. He was willing to throw all that away. His reason? He snapped. He couldn’t take the “hurt” anymore; the hurt that my past had been causing him. He said I was no longer a part of his life.
I still do become depressed because the wound is still very raw. I have been praying for him to come round.. to grow up. Because to me, he was great. He made me really happy. And I believe that he just needs to grow up. And to be able to accept that I, like so many other people, may have a past. I’ve decided to wait for him.
Am I being really stupid and silly?
P.S I’d posted this as an answer to another post, but I really don’t know what to do. I desperately need some advice because I’m going crazy!!
This open post was written 2 months, 4 weeks ago | V/U/S: 134, 3, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
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