Help.
Okay, so this is pathetic now but I’m due to move to uni in like, 8 days and I don’t want to go. I was told by a councillor that my current bedroom is my safe place, and how defensive I am of it and I’m wondering if that’s the motive behind all of this change of mind. Suddenly I can’t stop crying, I don’t want to go out and all I can think about it ending my life because I don’t think I’m worth living.
I know it all sounds melodramatic but I can’t help it. I’m trying to be normal, I am but I’m just falling apart. I’m telling people I’m eating but I haven’t eaten in days. My friends are brilliant but I know they wouldn’t understand cos I’m usually so happy. I just want out, I can’t handle this anymore.
I’ve just closed one man out of my life because he promised me a second chance, only to then decide he preferred my underage best friend, and that destroyed me because it’s taken a year for me to come to terms with the fact that I liked someone, because I was abused by my boyfriend about 4 years ago. Now I’m seeing someone I’m not supposed to be seeing because apparently all hell breaks loose if I do, and anyway, I can’t tell how he feels towards me, and I’m supposed to be moving away and so is he.
I’m just one big mess, I sit at the computer and on my bed and I go out and try to shop, do anything to make me feel better. I have no idea what to do anymore. I stare at my phone for hours. I’m meant to be at a Tim Minchin gig in an hour, I could still get there, but I don’t want to leave the house. I honestly can’t stand this.
This open post was written 2 months, 3 weeks ago | V/U/S: 79, 3, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post
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