depression help: I’m 23 and in college and I feel very sad and lonely. - Help.com

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Don’t give your prosecutors and torturers the satisfaction of seeing you suffer. It is YOUR life anyway, and only you and you ALONE can determine your own happiness or misery. Move on. Life is too short to dwell on past hurts, especially if it is not from your own doing. You are only punishing yourself.

As with your looks, I know other people who are deaf, blind, no arms, no legs, physically-handicapped, crossed-eyed, pimple-infected, bald BUT have found the love of their lives. In short, sometimes looks doesn’t really matter. Cheer up. You are just 23, life is yours for the taking, and there is a whole lot of world to see!

Get over it

Hello… I just stumbled across this website and what you posted on here reminds me a lot of me growing up. I had a really hard time in school - especially middle school and high school. I was picked on a lot for being “ugly and weird”, I didn’t have friends or a boyfriend, spent a lot of time alone, and my family didn’t seem to understand or care about what I was going through. I had suicidal thoughts and at times my life seemed like it wouldn’t get better. I didn’t do well in school because all I worried about was making friends, and the harder I tried to make friends, the more I didn’t feel like I fit in.

However, my life did get better and now I am really happy, married, and have some really great/close friends. In my early 20’s I decided to forget about worrying about what other people think, which was something I always dwelled on. I found a job I really liked, and I reinvented myself there. I made a point to talk to people - even if it was scary and I was afraid of being rejected, and an amazing thing happened… I eventually made friends who accepted me for me. You are always going to find certain people you don’t click with, but I try not to let it bother me anymore (which took a lot of practice). I also try to have a sense of humor about things… some things you just have to laugh at.

I know life can be hard, but it will get better. My advice to you is to get involved in something that interests you, whether it is school, work or a hobby, and don’t be afraid to talk to people (I seem to talk to everyone now =)). Hopefully you stumble across a group of people who you share something in common with.

I am sure more people out there care about you than you even realize. I know it can be hard to break down your walls when people have hurt you so much, but sometimes you have to take a leap and let people in. Someone might surprise you.

If you continue to feel suicidal, I would see a counselor. I resisted seeing a counselor for many years, and I am so mad at myself for not going sooner. Although I was doing better and pretty happy, I continued to suffer from anxiety and depression throughout my 20’s from time to time (I am now in my early 30’s). Most of the time I didn’t even realize when I was depressed. I just felt unmotivated and lazy a lot. I now realize that all of those feelings were really depression. Going to counseling has really helped me understand myself and figure out the triggers that make me feel that way so I can prevent it. I also took medication for depression for about 2 years, which was scary (and I was judged by my family for doing it), but it really helped. And I didn’t have to take it forever. My depression and anxiety are pretty much gone now.

Suicide is never the answer. I have had a couple of friends commit suicide over the years, and it tears me up to think of all the wonderful things in life they are missing. Unfortunately they couldn’t see past their pain to see the potential, and I often think of all of the great things they could be doing if they had found another way of dealing with things.

I wish you the best of luck. I hope you find happiness and enjoy the rest of your time in college. Don’t give up! I know your life probably isn’t exactly the same as mine, but I hope my experiences can help you a little. My mom always told me to “just deal with it”, but I think sometimes you have to ask for help if you need it and not be embarrassed or afraid to seek professional help if/when necessary. I am so glad I did.