work help: I need advice with a work related situation. - Help.com



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I need advice with a work related situation.

First i want to say that i love my job - i’ve worked so hard to get where i am and i wouldn’t change anything. But i’ve been having some trouble with someone who kind of isn’t even my boss, but is still in a position of authority in the work place. I used to work for this person but due to title changes and restructuring - technically the person isn’t even my direct boss anymore, i just do things for that person and the department because i’m the only one who knows and it’s been aded into my job description with the intention of it being faded out eventually but it’s putting me in a really bad position.

Basically I am swamped at work - everyone knows i am, and well..everyone is swamped and stressed. Lately though this particular person i mentioned above has been “ripping” on me more than usual. Like i’m always being teased but that’s just our kind of department dynamic. No one takes it seriously, it’s all jokes. But lately it’s been getting worse and worse. The last straw came last week when I was basically insulted in front of one of our co-op students who reports to me. Basically I was initially told that I had been extremely forgetful (i’m not super human) and that I’d been slipping up. And then when asked if the student could use me for a reference the person mentioned had basically said that I wouldn’t be a good person to use as a reference because of my inexperience. It could’ve been a joke - i don’t know. But i thought it was completely inappropriate and i’m actually pretty hurt about it. This isn’t the only time it’s happened - it’s actually making me doubt myself, and i’ve come such a long way that I don’t want to ever hate my job or not think i’m good enough. I work my *** off. I don’t want to quit, but sometimes the thought crosses my mind.

what do i do?

This open post was written 2 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 104, 2, 2 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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jovdb offline Verified User (2 months, 1 week) Shouts: 0 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (1 day, 10 hours after post)

It is so hard. Bet you know that the only thing you really have to do is have a quiet word with this person in private. S/he was completely out of order in speaking to you like that in front of the student and perhaps they realise it. A quiet word using the phrase ‘I felt’ (no one can argue with your feelings) saying how you were embarrassed and even if it was meant as a joke, maybe the student wouldn’t have known that, has to be done. What is more worrying and more difficult to deal with is a kind of culture I can sense here about teasing and joking which easily moves into harrassment and bullying. Only you know if this is a culture that can be steered away from perhaps by example from you of acting kinder to colleagues who may then copy it. If not, and you feel dumped on, well maybe you are, and keeping an eye out for other jobs where you will be more appreciated isn’t a bad idea. Good luck.
Jo

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BIG AL 1 offline Verified User (1 month, 1 week) Shouts: 408 #
An Unknown Location | 4 weeks, 1 day ago (1 month, 2 weeks after post)

It’s time to come out of the fog. Screw feelings - if you take a survey, you’ll find what that person did was totally unprofessional and disreputable - there are Board Of Labor consequences for such behavior, that’s a fact, no “feelings” or argument about it. You need to remind them that you’re there to do a job and that, wherein, in times past everyone can joke around but with the onslught of work piling up there is no time for jokes. And besides, someone, by default is going to be the butt of the conversation. Sadley, no one is in a hurry to get in line and take their turn being the butt.

Good Luck

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