Need some assistance…. - Help.com

You said you were accepted into the military, so I assume you’re old enough to leave. You could join the military or you could just leave, but don’t hang around sharpening your knives and loading your guns. There is no reason to hang around abusive “alchoholics, drug dealers, and high school drop outs” anyway. If you are trying to do something positive with your life and they are trying to hold you back, it is time to move on. Leave the door open for later reconciliation, but it sounds as if that isn’t likely to happen anytime soon. Wait somewhere else.

Cut off the family

Open yourself to others. Seek out people with your values. It is a waste of time to try to get people who don’t share your values to appreciate what you do. If anything you just remind them of what a failure they are. That will make them hate you.

Find people you can trust. The only way to do that is to allow yourself to be vulnerable with new people. If you retreat into a shell, you will be empty forever. You can find love, respect and affection. But you have to learn to give it to others who can give it back.

It sounds like you’re caught up in all of the negativity around you w/ not enough of an outlet. It seems that your family keeps putting you down when you’ve worked so hard to make a life for yourself- ex- bodybuilding (pretty hardcore), military, CPR training etc. It also sounds like you would like some credit and praise for your achievements. You can congratulate yourself on all of your accomplishments. Clearly, you’re a very strong person to come from that kind of background and achieve so much! And it takes an even stronger person to be able to admit that they are “defensive” and that they “push everyone away.” That’s a really great first step. Next you need to think about why you’re doing those things. While you’re doing that, you need more positive influences in your life and ways to meet people, even if you don’t get super close w/ them…Maybe like taking a class (martial arts sounds like it’d be up your alley or maybe yoga to calm you mind?). Also, joining Alanon a group for families and friends of alcoholics might be good for you because it provides a safe environment to say whatever you want, vent, cry w/e and maybe that would help you stop pushing people away a bit. Or if you are religious at all, perhaps find a church, mosque or temple that you go to on a regular basis and go talk to one of the spiritual leaders there. They have to listen - it’s their job ;) And in doing these things, you’ll cultivate yourself and realize that your family is your family, but you are not like them and they put you down for the same reason that they engage in self-destructive behavior: they’re not happy w/ themselves or their own lives, and you need to just keep reminding yourself of that. When they put you down it’s not about you, it’s about them. Hope that helps a little…:) Good luck!