Love help: What to do? - Help.com

if theres one thing ive learned its that you cant have a healthy and secure relationship if your not ready for one. Naturally you’ll want to desperately seek someone else to replace your former lover to overcome loneliness (i get the impression that could be what shes doing as well). You should have a talk with her and figure out her where she stands in terms of how she feels about you and hwo she feels about her past ex

Sounds like she’s either still in a relationship or still after her ex. Using you as some entertainment in the mean time. She probably starts arguments so things don’t get too deep with you too fast. Are the arguments usually about meeting up and things? And about this ’selective amnesia’. How pathetic. Lol.
Hate to use this one, but there ARE plenty more fish in the sea. And she doesn’t seem to me like a prime catch!

sounds like shes messed up, id stay away or be very very wary of giving any emotional investment to her.

Probably the reasons why she act in such way are..1)she is desperately seeking for new relationship but still trap in the old one, 2)probably the last relationship makes her feel not attractive, so she tries to fulfill it by trying to seduce you, to make her feel attractive enough (not a healthy way),3)but than she pulls back because she doesn’t feel safe in your or any relationship. She needs it, but afraid of it, b’coz lack of faith that she earns and will gain love and acceptance.

Why do you miss her instead of your ex? Probably..because she drawn you down into her emotional roller coaster. She needs u to fulfill her empty hole (which cannot be fulfill). it is good to be needed right? Something that u probably can’t find in your ex??

O..don’t be upset when she said that she cannot remember anything. she doesn’t have an amnesia, right? It is a despair way to drag your attention. Your rejection may turn her to feel unwanted, not be loved, not attractive. it’s unbearable, so she rejects you back to reduce the pain. if one cannot gain attention in a positive way, s/he will annoy you. to have someone mad at us is much much better than to have him abandon us, at least we know, we still in his mind. Things will be a bit complicated on someone with poor self confidence. Does she often play the ‘pull n’ push game’? Does she give you the exotic of vary emotions at once that makes you feel exhausted but cannot leave?

In my opinion it is possible to eventually turn this relationship into a healthy and good one, after she achieve the sense of secure, but it takes lots of effort. some of friends I know, must go through years before they finally made it. but they survive, and things are getting better.

if that is the case, then what she probably needs is for you to convince her constantly that you love her unconditionally, you will not leave her, that she does not have to do many effort to impress u, and it is safe to reveal her self. Her safe and secure feeling will come from our persistent to stay and stand by her when aver her fear drive her to attack you (in many ways) to push u away; don’t let her drag u down. Gives her many hug and kiss (espc.on the forehead and cheek). At the opposite, unsafe or unsecured feeling come from the condition when one is blamed, leaved, abandoned, or else without unrealized cause. to leave or abandon her when she is attaching you based on fear of being abandoned or leaved might strengthen her prejudice that you (anybody) will eventually leave her. It’s a good thing that u don’t take her invitation to sleep together within a imperfect moment. U must b a very good man. =)

Puff..lots of works huh? Is she worth it? it is for you to decide. hope this long advice might help.
Good luck!!!! =D

Thank you everyone who’s replied.

We’ve started to talk a lot more in the past few days. She’s told me straight out that she doesn’t fancy me, but then told me that she’d been thinking about me. It’s like that she can’t make her own mind up, but feels a need to tell me. We’ll be meeting face to face in a week or so. I think I’ll just wait and see how the day goes. If it goes well, then good, but if not, I’ll just move on, and drop the friendship as well. I don’t need this push’n'pull. I can her being confused over her feelings, because I feel the same, but I’m more of just waiting and see how things come together. She knows I like her, and that should be enough for now.

She told you straight out she didn’t fancy you…Why are you meeting with her again?