Love help: i just need to know if this is the right thing to do.

marcyy

i just need to know if this is the right thing to do.

so here’s the deal. I’ve been seeing a guy for some time now, like 5 maybe 6 months. at first everthing was great, he was the sweetest guy i had ever met and he was so much more than i expected him to be. then gradually he started to become less and less of that and everything seemed to become worse between us. i was upset about how the relationship was going. every now and then i would get really angry or sad about what he said and he would apologize but he would hurt me again and it all starts again, like a cycle. now i’m just really sick and tired of him hurting me all the time. however, i do love him and he means the world to me. i know it would hurt a lot to break up with him, but i don’t think i can keep this going on for much longer. i need to know if i can still save this relationship or if i should give up on this.

This open post was written 2 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 195, 11, 4 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

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Since writing this post marcyy may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days. marcyy is a verified member, has been around for 2 months, 1 week and has 2 posts and 4 replies to their name.

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Dr. Ralph 70 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (12 minutes after post)

Sounds like you just get mad all the time. Is this a pattern with only him? Only you can make yourself angry, try mellowing out.

Help me with: They just started year round school here and the kids are on fall break.

Cell 54 #
Winnipeg, MB, CA | 2 months, 1 week ago (20 minutes after post)

How does he ‘hurt’ you?

Help me with: My 7 year old daughter says she wants to be an artist when she grows up.

marcyy 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (27 minutes after post)

Cell wrote:
How does he ‘hurt’ you?

he doesn’t know when to stop, and he insults me and doesn’t realise it. and sometimes it’s when he won’t listen or he pushes me away (physically and emotionally).

Cell 54 #
Winnipeg, MB, CA | 2 months, 1 week ago (29 minutes after post)

He pushes you physically? That’s not ok. And yelling at you is not ok either. You need to have a talk with him sometime when he’s calm and explain that yelling and pushing are not ok and if he doesn’t stop then it’s over.

Help me with: My 7 year old daughter says she wants to be an artist when she grows up.

Anonymous #
2 months, 1 week ago (36 minutes after post)

Wow..I am in a similar situation myself right now. Dr. Ralph - are you implying that is the person who gets mad fault? Or are you implying it is both? Isn’t there always a cause & effect - you’re mean:you make someone mad?? Please help me understand this.

Anonymous #
2 months, 1 week ago (38 minutes after post)

I realize only you can make yourself angry…but how are you supposed to feel if someone is mean…what is the alternative? I genuinely want to know. You sound a lot like my boyfriend and if I can understand where you’re coming from..I think I can understand my situation a little easier…

littlenick 131 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (53 minutes after post)

Time to move on. Your relationship has ran its course and you’re due for a break up.

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Dr. Ralph 70 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 5 minutes after post)

If someone is making you angry smile and walk away. If it continues to happen you stay away from that person. Lots of people stay angry no matter what situation they are in and then complain… that doesn’t do any good.

Help me with: They just started year round school here and the kids are on fall break.

linuxya 15 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (1 hour, 14 minutes after post)

If you read up on relationships, you see there are phases.

Six months is typically the longest someone can be on their best behaviour before relaxing and being much more what they are really like.

This clicked for me. At the six month mark I had to basically decide whether to completely open up to my girlfriend or not. We both went through the process and discovered we liked each other even more and we felt a lot more comfortable and less insecurity.

Your guy is either showing what he is really like and/or afraid you will find out about his insecurities and is unable to trust you enough to share.

He’s on schedule!

Help me with: The problem with self serving advice

marcyy 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (21 hours, 6 minutes after post)

linuxya wrote:
If you read up on relationships, you see there are phases.

Six months is typically the longest someone can be on their best behaviour before relaxing and being much more what they are really like.

This clicked for me. At the six month mark I had to basically decide whether to completely open up to my girlfriend or not. We both went through the process and discovered we liked each other even more and we felt a lot more comfortable and less insecurity.

Your guy is either showing what he is really like and/or afraid you will find out about his insecurities and is unable to trust you enough to share.

He’s on schedule!

the thing is, he has always been really open to me about all his weaknesses and emotions, ever since quite early on in the relationship.

linuxya 15 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (21 hours, 18 minutes after post)

Every cycle requires two people to play a role. You play a role in the cycle and so does he. You reinforce each other in making that cycle happen.

You must determine what your role is in that cycle and whether it is time to find someone more compatible (ie. someone who has a constructive cycle with you rather than a destructive one.)

Help me with: The problem with self serving advice

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i just need to know if this is the right thing to do.

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