Help help: hi, never posted something like this on a site like this before, but here goes. - Help.com

hi, never posted something like this on a site like this before, but here goes.

It feels like im the only person that feels, like i don’t belong here. Like the world i was born into was the wrong one. don’t get me wrong, there are things here i enjoy, i have a few friends and there is my sister who helps me out a lot. im 32 male. I would think something is wrong with me really. My mother died last year in june. I was there when she died. I told her to just let go, that if she did there would be anymore pain. she went into coma the day she died. Doctor said that happens to some people. Earlier in the day she was still coherent. i showed her a video of her cats that i recorded that day with them meowing into the camera. the one eye that was open was focused on the video the whole time. when it was over she closed her eye. She had breast cancer that spread to her brain and liver. she seemed to wait till my brother got there till she went. I watched her chest go up and down until it finally stopped. My sister was there and my brother and some family friends and a few of my mothers friends. when she finally went everyone started to cry, except me. she was 62. I never have cried about her passing. I should think anyone would have cried when their mother/father passed in front of them. never did seem to cry, not when my grandfather died or my grandmother or my dog we had gotten when i was just a baby or when my cat i rescued got hit by a car. im not suicidal or anything like that. is there anything i can do to be more, normal, like everyone i know?

thanks for listening and reading.

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sadness, Lonliness, Help (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

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