advice help: A chunk of my life story, some advice would be nice - Help.com



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A chunk of my life story, some advice would be nice

so this is going to be long, since it’s practically a chunk of my life story. I know that it sounds like a bunch of rambling…and it is…it’s what i sound like when I can’t sleep at 4 in the morning

I used to be a very extroverted kid and always got into troble…but somehow, during gr.5 i decided to smarten up..but somehow became very introverted, when I was in gr.7, my parents moved to the suburbs, and I had to enroll into a new school…but I’d forgotten how to make friends, an on top of that i was the only asian in the whole entire school…..that lead to bullying etc…and i basically became very introverted then (I didn’t know how to interact with other people by that time). It was later on when I realized that I needed to learn how to create interpersonal relations (from my careers class), as it’s needed in university and in ALL jobs later on in life. So, I decided to try to branch out….after 2 years, i made a few friends at high school, and I thought that I had good enough practice for ging into university. however…i turned out that it wasn’t. Usually, i’m like a hermit; i rarely ever talked to my teachers (some even thought that i didn;t know english), and was always made out by the students in my grade. However once I gt ito university, I basically acted like normal (i tried to be outgoing, and join events etc.)and I had a roommate….but this roommate…was always the centre of attention…so she had alot of freinds…and I in turn had alot of friends i guess…..at first it was alright…..but interacting with people..was just so tiring seemed like a waste of time , and my marks were going down….so i decided that I’d study hard..and went to the library everyday, and when she asked me where i was, i always ust shrugged. But she kept bothering me afterwards…and i cracked..and she started to follow me to the library….and it was just getting tiresome…so I just stopped, and i tried a new tactic; just being myself….but then she thought that i was angry at her and all of the people on our floor started asking me what was the problem and was angry that i was making her upset, and while I denied it…they didn’t believe me and thought that i was being distant from them….alot of stuff happened and basically, i ended up being depressed…While all that was happening, my whole family was convincing me to transfer to anotehr university since my older sister didn’t do so well there…but it was my dream to go there and i went…dispite the warning.

by the end of the year i was in probation and i was angry with myself for not focusing more on my studies and decided to try my best in the summer semster…i had a perfect schedule planned out….but at that time, my sister didn’t have a place for the summer semester…so i had to chare a room with her…and it was awful: she was discouraging , we had fights, and the noise that her computer was making at night…made it impossible for me to sleep…….it was awful…and i ended up doing even worst ..so i was told later on that i was suspended..and after a talk, found out that i was suffering from depression, but really, it’s more like i need to learn how to deal with stress and learn to communicate more effectively.

Later on, i decided to go to a community college during my suspension period, and decided to take the Environmental Technician program…there, i’ve decided to just be myself, and try to just be more social, like i did in high school. I’ve gotten to work better with my classmates (and i guess it helps that they’re alot older than me, alot of them), and i’ve learnt to talk to my teachers more. I think i’m making progress, and my marks are As now….even though i still get bullied for being quiet, and apparently….asian
…..during my time there I’ve realized that i’m interested in chemistry, and i planned on going the same unviersity…but the labs there are something i hated because the professors and the students teachers were always so scary. My parents and (again) my sisters are objecting to this….and to be honest, i’m scared too…..but i’m very interested……it’s just scary…after what happened…..should I try again????….really, should I?…when i was planning my future a few days ago, this seemed like a good plan…but in reality…it’s scary…..the labs are scary, though i’ve really come to want to learn chemistry, as it’s intersting and it’s compatible with my diploma…..

should i try again a second time?..but i’ really scared.
not only do i want to go back to that university, i know that if i don’t….it’ll leave a permanent black mark on my academic history, so it’s best to go back to improve and and up my GPA and to show them that I can.

but i’m scare that i’ll fail again. What if i do??…..that’ll be bad. I admit that i’ve gotten better at the socail stuff….but is chemistry the right choice? is this the right unversity to go to? (even though other universities may not accept me?)…should i just give up to their pressure and stop?…..i’m not sure……

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An Unknown Location | 4 weeks ago (1 month, 1 week after post)

You have to make several distinct seperations. There is the life and interaction that you have with your family. There is your acedemic life which may also be work-related. And there is your social life.

If you have to rely on your family, rely on your mom or dad and leave your siblings to themselves - that’s not to say ignore them or abandon them but they need to find their own way and relying on them for big things like a place to stay isn’t going to do you any good, their destiny isn’t yours and vice-versa.

You need to focus on your acedemic life - many people turn that area into a big social arena and that may be fine. . .for them. Keep to yourself and keep to your studies. By doing this you may find that people don’t bully around what they don’t know about - times are too dangerous even for them. Now, if someone is genuinely interested in you from school, don’t turn them down and don’t be desperate. You don’t know who they are and they may not be right for you. Time will bring that to your view and. . .who knows.

When it comes to work, the same thing applies. You’re there to do a job. The quality of that job should speak for itself. That’s said with the understanding that your superiors aren’t there to be brown-nosed and are favoring the ditzy-no-knowthing-blond - you get the picture. You’re not there to be out-going or a great personality. Get the job done, do well, clock out, go home.

You’re in control of your social life. If you want to socialize than dress up and put your best foot forward. Head to an upscale bar or go to the most popular rave. I’m pretty sure that you’ll get invited to private events from time to time but I would judge those very carefully - you know don’t go to the ones that involve drugs and boozing where you could get yourself beat up or shot. Go to the ones that offer you a better job position. Go to the ones that give you a chance of meeting someone special - or at very least someone with some dignity.

Other than that, welcome to life. Boring is good - it’s the excitement that’s over-rated.

Good Luck

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