Should I stay with my wife? - Help.com

My parents stayed together for me and my siblings and we didn’t appreciate it one bit as it made them bitter and when they ended up giving up we all got much more hurt than we needed to be. They were also much better parents when they were finally happy.
That is not to say that you should split up, only you and your wife can work that out but your happiness means a lot more to your children than you think it does.

The following is just advice and my opinion.
Assess and analyse everything properly and make sure you are completely sure of your feelings (the both of you) before taking any action.
Honestly to spare you both another decade of misery and dwindling trust and and eventual depression and despair I advice you both to break it off nicely right now while you two are still on friendly terms.
There’ll never be a need for you to completely cut them off at all.
You should always be a constant pillar of support for your children and the mother of your children. Stay in close contact and don’t move a million miles away like most divorcees do.
That way your kids will still have their mother and father and wont be stuck amidst a broken household with unhappy folks.

Just from the child’s point of view. My parent’s divorced about 6 years ago when I was 15 (my sister was 12) and they are both happy with new partners. I have no resentment towards either one and I love my dad’s girlfriend and I respect that my mom’s boyfriend makes her happy.

Now, If you even have to ask this question I would suggest seeing a marriage councilor to help you deal with your immediate issues. The fact that you typed “Should I Stay With My Wife” and not “How Can I Renew The Spark In My Marriage” speaks volumes about your situation. Never stay together for the kid’s. You have to live your life for you to be truly happy. Your children will love you regardless of your connection to your wife. Before you do anything drastic be sure that your wife feels the same way and you talk about it. Not Fight.

On a side note:
Sometimes it is easier to leave the situations out of context and play a little game called “I Feel”. Where instead of laying down accusations you address how you are feeling and confirm each others feelings. I know it sounds gay but I also know it works. “I feel ashamed for this” of “I feel afraid of that”. Recognize what you are saying and what you are hearing. It is highly possible that you do still love each other and can come up with a solution to your problems this way. If you don’t feel comfortable doing this it’s understandable but keep it in mind because when you are arguing with her if you phrase your sentences this way you are more likely to be on her level.

Fighting in front of your kids isn’t good but don’t treat them like they don’t know. They may be young but trust me, they know.

Marriage counseling is worth a try if you really do want to stay together. Even if you do divorce it will also help you through it. Regardless of whether or not you do indeed get divorced you have to remember that you will have this person in the rest of your life. There’s no way to avoid it. Don’t be catty and realize it will be hard for her too …

I know I’m yonge, I don’t know if that is good advice but I hope it helps a little. Don’t be ashamed of you’re feelings, you’re allowed to have doubts. In recent years divorce is way more common and widely accepted.

Staying together for the sake of the kids: bad idea. Eventually they will pick up on your unhappiness and you would actually create more trouble for them than if you’d parted but live happy maybe with someone else. Your happiness and willingness to parent them in that scenario would make them feel better than if you’d stayed together and felt bad. Staying together but looking for happiness elsewhere: it is already happening, better believe it! You both are very young and you both plus your children deserve to be happy. How about marriage counceling? What’s the matter in your marriage that didn’t work? If you tried everything and you both agreed on to split, do it for the sake of your children and for your own individual happiness.