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About a year ago, I had no social life whatsoever (I’m a naturally non-social college student).
However, a few girls I regularly ate lunch with one day brought me over to hang out with their group of friends. We all hit it off splendidly in that one night, and quickly became very close. Eventually, one of my new friends “J” and I developed crushes on each other. We’ve been happily together ever since.
At the time that J and I started dating, pretty much everybody else in this group of friends was dating someone else within the group. However, as time wore on, these relationships fell apart. A lot of damage was done to the relationship in general between the girls in the group and the guys in the group in the process. I’m not exactly sure what the source of the problem was, but eventually, the girls just quit hanging out with the group. J and I were largely uninvolved in all this drama, and so we’ve maintained close friendship with the guys and are still on speaking terms with the girls. So, at present, my circle of close friends on campus consists of four guys and one girl who survived the drama. This girl, however, has recently fallen out of favor with the guys because of personal issues that she’s pushing on them, and I rarely see her because she’s so busy.
The problem now is that all of these guys are single, looking - and flirting with me constantly. There’s S, my boyfriend’s roommate, who I catch staring at me all the time, and who doles out little observant compliments to me that suggest to my mind that he has a crush. Then there’s A, who’s always sticking up for me during the inevitable teasing that you get being a girl in a group of guys and who goes running to get me anything I ask for and offers more. Finally, there’s P, the most charismatic of the group, and the main source of my worry. He’s undergone a pretty noticeable change in behavior around me of the sort you’d expect from guys that like you - you know, asking your opinion or validation of everything, finding little subtle ways to touch you, and the staring again.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy the attention - I do. Sometimes I even fantasize about being alone with P, since I find him attractive. However, having thought about it, I’ve come to the realization that I don’t want more than friendship with any of these guys - ever. I’m not interested in cheating and don’t want jealousy to start cropping up in what has otherwise been a very smooth and solid relationship. I also don’t want to just start avoiding these people - it wouldn’t be feasible, anyway, since my boyfriend lives with one of them and is close friends with the others.
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