mental illness help: Ok I am extremely curious about everything, I used to cut myself because I was curious as to how actual cutters felt. - Help.com

Yes, there’s something mentally wrong with you for doing that. Have you seen a counselor or a psychiatrist? You seem to want to experience most of the negative stuff. Why not do the opposite and try the positive stuff. Or do you just want attention by trying the negative stuff. Positive stuff brings you positive attention. The negative stuff however….

How about getting good grades? Dressing well? Being polite? Smiling more? Being more friendly towards others? Helping people who are in need? Volunteering at an animal shelter? Should I go on?

By the way, you also seem to have way too much time on your idle hands. Why not donate some of that time to a soup kitchen or even painting over graffitti at public parks or roads?

There will be plenty of time to think of death when you get past old age. For now, try doing less destructive stuff that brings you closer to death’s door and you don’t neccessarily have to experience those type of things to know what everything feels like. Why don’t you try to experience what life feels like first.

people suffer very bad with eating problems and self harming and for you to do these to see how it feels is being very disrespectful to the people who struggle with the problems,try helping people