Love help: Hey, I’m a college freshman who is not having an easy time. - Help.com



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Hey, I’m a college freshman who is not having an easy time.

As of recently I’ve become very self-conscious about my appearance. I go to a very large university, and I heard that it would be very easy to meet and enter an intimate plane with women in college, but for me it has not been as such. I like to think of myself as: intelligent, humorous, interesting, fun, nice, and very fashionable (I have an indie sense of style very tight jeans, plaid, American Apparel, I listen to indie rock mostly Hair Police and Radiohead). It seems that every time that I try to make a move on a girl, (15 girls now) it just doesn’t pan out, even with drunk girls at parties. Now I’ve convinced myself it is my looks and that I’m ugly and should try for girls that I don’t consider extremely attractive. It seems like that I get the same response every time I think it is time to make a move “Look, you’re a really nice and funny guy but I’m just not into you like that, I would love to be friends though”. Note: This is not a case of not putting my self “out there” so to speak, I talk to girls in class, and around campus, and I’ve joined many clubs and attend many parties. Please leave me an honest answer, with a numerical rating, this is the internet, my feelings won’t be hurt, so please don’t try and flatter me. Here are a few pictures of myself:

http://s942.photobucket.com/albums/ad264/MParysz/?action=view&current=Photo 10.jpg

http://s942.photobucket.com/albums/ad264/MParysz/?action=view&current=Phot o13.jpg

http://s942.photobucket.com/albums/ad264/MParysz/?action=view&current=Pho to19.jpg

http://s942.photobucket.com/albums/ad264/MParysz/?action=view&current=Ph oto2.jpg

http://s942.photobucket.com/albums/ad264/MParysz/?action=view&current=P hoto20.jpg

http://s942.photobucket.com/albums/ad264/MParysz/?action=view&current= Photo25.jpg

http://s942.photobucket.com/albums/ad264/MParysz/?action=view&current =Photo3.jpg

http://s942.photobucket.com/albums/ad264/MParysz/?action=view&curren t=Photo8.jpg

http://s942.photobucket.com/albums/ad264/MParysz/?action=view&curre nt=n1181460036_30132525_3828.jpg

http://s942.photobucket.com/albums/ad264/MParysz/?action=view&curr ent=4588_1128229484213_1181460106_30440.jpg

This open post was written 2 months, 1 week ago | V/U/S: 183, 4, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post


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leedarien offline Verified User (8 months, 2 weeks) Long Term User Shouts: 22 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (7 minutes after post)

first of all, i don’t think that you have anything to worry about. you are truly good looking in societies standards and therefore, in your view, you have nothing to worry about in that respect. secondly, i feel i have to say…how terribly shallow your post sounds. you fear you’ll have to ‘try for girls you don’t find extremely attractive’? that seems like a horrible thing to judge people on. if i’ve misunderstood you, then i’m sorry, but as i’ve seen it you’ve gone along with societies belief that the stereotypical ‘beauty’ is the only way to go and personality is somehting that you go after after beauty has been established. just seemed kinda off to me…ormaybe i’m just crazy or the only one that thinks that.

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c-eek offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 15 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (42 minutes after post)

Your looks are fine. That is not your problem. I hope you meant it when you said your feeling won’t be hurt when you get an honest answer to your question. What impresses me most about your post is how you objectify the women you are interested in and yourself, too. When someone says she wants to be friends with you, maybe you should try to be a friend to her. Think about it.

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michaelparys offline Unverified User #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (58 minutes after post)

I’m not looking for love at the moment, just pure hooking up, so while that does not justify objectification it certainly explains it.

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c-eek offline Verified User (1 year, 7 months) Long Term User Shouts: 15 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 1 week ago (10 hours, 44 minutes after post)

michaelparys wrote:
I’m not looking for love at the moment, just pure hooking up, so while that does not justify objectification it certainly explains it.

No matter how good looking you are, you will find that most women will only find you attractive enough to “hook up” with, once they have at least a friendship with you. If you are looking for an honest appraisal of your chances of success with your current methods, you came to the right place. As I see it, your chances are slim to none.

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