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Every day of my life is a spiralling pit of boredom.
Well, I say that. I’m being melodramatic.
I’m a musician, and have been for nearly half my life. One more year and it will be half my life. But I can’t find any musicians I click and bond with. I find a contact or two, we start to talk, plans are made… And then they fall through and nothing happens.
I’m an ex-student. I’ve just finished college. Trying to find a job (Unsurprisingly) is hell in the current economic market. What’s worse, I know I’m more than a viable applicant for work places, I’m just not accepted because of the sheer bulk of other people who are as well.
I have a mostly okay home life. I love my brother, sister and mother. I used to hate my father, and now feel nothing for him. He isn’t worth the effort.
I don’t feel human. I don’t feel like an outsider looking in, but like an insider who found the party, got a drink, chatted witha few people but then slowly drifted to the edge of the room, looking at the heaving mass in the middle and not wanting to be part of it. There are a few other people along the wall with me, watching. But we are too far away to reach each other, and the noise the others make is so loud.
And I’m sorry this is such a rant! I just needed somewhere to let off a little steam. Thanks for reading, and anything said will be read and replied too (hopefully).
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.
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