Peace Day - Help.com

Right after I made this post this morning, the councilor at my son’s school called. She said she is concerned he is showing signs of depression. So my peaceful day went out the window. I broke down. This I knew could happen with me and my father having depression. I just hoped it wouldn’t. Then him only being 8yrs old. It hurts really bad thinking he is dealing with this. That like me, for the rest of his life he will have to deal with this.

After my breakdown, I pulled myself together, read this a few times. I had to keep saying I accept myself without harsh judgment. Because at that moment I was blaming myself for this. Like I could of controlled it. Deep breath, I accept myself without harsh judgment. It took awhile but it helped. Then I read the line - I live without fear and meet the events of this day with confidence. And I knew, that God had prepared me for this day. I will not fear it and I can handle it and I will help my son like no other person can.

Then I got another call, from the school nurse, my son was now in her office with a stomach ache. (he had been having this complaint for a few days, I had been concerned it was more a mental issue then a physical one) So I was ready to face the day without fear and with confidence. I picked up my son and we went to the doctors. On the drive he read me a book the councilor gave him about self esteem. We both agreed that was not his problem. He is confident in himself and a little on the arrogant side. (must happen with a mother that praises you so much) We talked about his anger issues. A lot rehashing things we talked about before.

When we got in the doctors office I let him know my concerns that this may be a mental issue more then a physical one and I just need to make sure there was not physical problem. Well the doctor thinks he has gastritis which can be caused by anxiety and stress. So he put him on prevacid for his stomach. He told me depression in boys this age usually show as anger and frustration more than saddness or feeling down. Which fits for how he is feeling. He said to call him if I need help finding somewhere for the mental evaluation. And he gave a very nice discounted rate.

I am feeling okay right now. Not quite at peace, but not far from it.

Thank you mz.mo, I have a good book I am reading and I am going to go escape in it for the rest of the night.

I love you guys so much. I was at the library printing the forms to fill out for the therapist this morning (like 20 pages)and I stopped in the middle and check this post. It was what I needed at the moment. Some encouraging words from friends. Thanks so much.

The therapist was great. Based on what I told her, she feels like it s more anxiety then depression. That is caused by some irrational thinking. We came up with some things to start working on right now and she will see him next week. I am feeling good about it right now.

Sans wrote:
Thanks for the invite, Baba. The first part of the post was something I needed to hear, and your reply about your son and depression just showed me that we can face anything if we center ourselves on things we know are true. You know that you and your family are loved, so no matter what storms you face you can make it through. There was one thing in your reply that caught my eye, and you may not realize you wrote it.. you said “It hurts really bad thinking he is dealing with this. That like me, for the rest of his life he will have to deal with this.” I just want to remind you that having a bout of depression as a kid doesn’t mean that he will be chronically depressed. Because you recognized it early, and have worked so hard to overcome your own depression, you have/are teaching him to face his issues head-on, to fight that darkness. Everyone goes through times of being down, or almost everyone. Your son is learning about himself and gaining coping skills now that will serve him well through whatever life brings.

You are right sans, my husband also picked up on me doing this. I was so distraught that he was going to have to deal with this crap for his whole life. It was irrational thinking on my part. Depression does that to me. I grab on to a negative thought/feeling and if I don’t fight it, it will pull me down. So thank you noticing I did that and bringing it to my attention. I do now realize that this is not catastrophic like I first felt. The world is not falling in on my son and he is going to be fine. And so am I for that matter.

c-eek wrote:
He is a lucky boy to have you for a mother. You have personal experience that will help you guide your son. Furthermore, you have addressed the issue promptly and effectively, which reinforces his trust in you. Many children go through childhood being misunderstood and making untrue assumptions about themselves, which will never happen to your son, thanks to you.

Now, if we can just be certain that you will take care of yourself the way you take care of your son…

I think this has been an eye opener for me too. I do a lot to keep my depression from being in control and most times I win, but there is more I need to do. I realize my health is just as important the kids.

I know I didn’t email you after your shout, but I just want you to know that I have a comfort knowing you are always there if I need someone to talk to. I appreciate that.