My relationship ended & I do not have any answers. - Help.com

Sounds like he had it planned all along to leave you and you just, albeit unwittingly, helped him. Now you have to plan your own future with him. Think of it like this, the money that you spent and lost was an investment in maybe getting rid of him and for you to have a better life without him and in the process maybe finding somebody else better for you. This guy does not sound like he was an honest person from the get go. He should have told you about his son and if you hadn’t accepted him because he had a son, then he should have just walked away. Sounds like now he used his son and losing his job as excuses to maybe get rid of you. He had this planned all along.

You should just move on and just make him and his actions part of your life’s experiences that you don’t want to repeat in the future with anybody else.

And, from the sounds of it, sounds like you are financially independent and have no need for anybody to help you, it makes it better for you and puts you at an advantage with future suitors so you can be choosy who you take on as your next partner.

You deserve better.

I know that as much as it hurts and is confusing you are so better off in finding out who he really is now before you spent one more day with him.

Anyone that can be in a relationship with someone and not disclose their true self is really not someone you want to be involved with. The stuff he failed to tell you was big stuff so lying about little things would not be a problem for him at all.

Cry you heart out and move on. It’s going to sting for a little while but all things happen for a reason and Mr Right is out there for you and it will be wonderful.

Keep your head up

*Now you have to plan your future WITHOUT him.*

If he was planning to end things then why after all that did he beg me over & over to see him? I do not understand that at all.That part doesn’t make sense to me.

He’s done and you should be done with him. This relationship has ran its course and you should move on.

It wouldn’t have taken much to end things when he stopped talking the first time or even after he revealed the info to me. It also wouldn’t have been hard to NOT have begged me to see him..I buy ticket that night..we talked 4 days..then he disappears. Regardless of the fact that he is done, what kind of a-hold would even do all that???

As little nick says, use that money as an investment on your new future. But go one further, you say that you have no reason to fly anywhere now. You DO! Use the ticket to fly anywhere in the world you’re interested in seeing, bring someone who genuinely loves you along (a friend, sister) and make yourself feel better. Your life is not over because of this sad sack of a man, even though I know it’ll hurt for a good while. Stay strong.

i dont mean to sound this way.but is it possible he might have harmed himself? i dont mean to make it be worse but sometimes people cant take whats goign on in thier life and can let the pain stop.i am sorry if this is not even a possible idea but i have just thought maybe the pain got to him and he decided to end the communication line and everything all togther.

No I do not have a reason to fly anywhere. lol I do not care to go anywhere else & to see him was the only reason I would have ever had to fly. I do not have any interest in going anywhere else. So that was $462 thrown out the window for nothing. Also I cannot just fly anywhere I had to use the same connecting flights which gets me to where he is.=/ I could have used that money towards something useful like groceries or towards a new laptop. I dunno why anyone thinks I have it all together financially..I just planned a vacation really well & now its all effed up.Cannot afford to do it again.

At least you’re a good planner with your finances. Now plan on not meeting an ahole like this guy ever again!

He hasn’t harmed himself. He’s been logging in & playing a game which we both play.

My brother’s opinion on it is that he was so down on himself & didn’t believe in himself that he could make me happy regardless of what I said that he decided to end things so I wouldn’t end up hurt. The thing is I’m more hurt than I have ever been.When people are depressed they seldom think of others feelings. I dunno, my head hurts trying to figure him out.

Give him some time to figure what’s what out, when he gets over feeling sorry for himself he’ll come back to you. Keep yourself busy and happy, do something for yourself. What is this about ‘I do not care to go anywhere else & to see him was the only reason I would have ever had to fly. I do not have any interest in going anywhere else’. Apart from the fact that it is ridiculous to only want to live your life and do things for a man, I find it very narrow-minded, you have only one life so surely you feel the need to explore and take interest in the world you live in? Get the airline to transfer the flight to somewhere new and exotic and learn to be happy in your own skin without him, regardless of whether he will come back into your life in the future.

Depressed or not, treating you that way is inexcusable. The fact that he is down on himself does not give him the right to treat you like dirt and you shouldn’t want to be with someone like that. You can spend time making up all kinds of excuses for his behavior, trying to make sense of it, so that in the end it’s not just a case of an a$$hole being an a$$hole but he is depressed, he has issues, he needs time, he’ll come back to me, he’ll do this do that, he is this and that… it’s just a waste of your time trying to theorize it. Bottom line is, he is ignoring you. He is not talking to you and doesn’t seem like he plans to in future. Therefore, he doesnot want to be with you, and even IF he did he does not deserve you companionship. Do as littlenick says, and move on.

Ok let me explain.

1.I cannot afford nor will I ever be able to afford to fly to any old place. I was to stay with him not a hotel so my trip would have been really cheap.

2.to use the ticket I have no choice but to use the same to & from Airlines which no matter what would take me to one place where he is.Also I would have to shell out another $200 for a fee plus whatever other charges there would be.Not worth it.

3.I never had any interest in traveling the world.Does not make me narrow minded. Not everyone is interested in the same things. Would have been the first time on a plane & he was the only one I cared to travel thousands of miles away to see.Other than that I am happy in my own skin staying on the east coast. LOL

Moving on takes time. Its not something that happens at the drop of the hat especially when I put so much of my heart & cared so much about the person/relationship.The only reason I am so upset/pissed is because of how much of a coward he is being. A real man wouldn’t be doing this & honestly he does owe me an explanation.Of course I will never get one nor do I expect one.I will always theorize because its what I do.I am not here thinking omg maybe he will come back.I wouldn’t take him back but I sure would love the $462 I wasted back.lol

It In any case I will let time do its thing.