Apathy help: I think I may have some type of mental disorder. - Help.com

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Hi there

Your problem is really simple. You have anxiety.

When people are anxious, they develop coping mechanisms for dealing with it. OCD is a way of distracting yourself from anxiety. Your brain creates a set of rules: do X, Y, Z and then you have nothing to worry about. So you do those things and feel relief.

Lack of motivation? It’s anxiety. You’re too anxious to settle down and choose a goal then make a plan to achieve the goal and take steps to get it. The cure for lack of motivation is simple: choose something, ANYTHING, commit to it, and keep at it until you accomplish it. It doesn’t matter what it is. All that matters is you achieve some small goal and work at it despite the anxious feelings and desire to quit. You will feel relief when you are done and this will give you confidence to face your anxiety in the future.

You’re afraid of confiding in your parents… that’s anxiety too.

The more you concentrate on the problem, the worse it will be. When you simply accept you have anxious feelings, when you accept those feelings are JUST SENSATIONS and cannot hurt you, when you set goals and achieve them despite the anxiety (start small at first!) then you retrain your brain to achieve goals instead of running away.

Lack of motivation is just running away, it’s shutting down to avoid the anxiety. It’s retreating.

Professionals will more than likely prescribe medication or suggest breathing techniques and cognitive based therapy. Breathing is good. Focus on ratcheting your breath in and out… 5 in, 5 out, 8 in, 8 out… keep working up the outbreaths and concentrating on it and you will calm down. Guaranteed.

Meds will only tone down the anxiety WHILE YOU CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOUR like I just described. If you don’t change your behaviour, the meds will gradually no longer be effective.

There’s a kind of bizarre faith in “professionals” solving problems. I can tell you that I’ve wasted a few grand on a handful of professionals who did nothing more than waste my time while my career went to ****. I begged for help from doctors, shrinks, counsellors. They were all bizarrely clueless. They only seem to be interested in someone who is truly deranged. Anxiety and its associated symptoms do not fit that expectation.

The answer is exactly as I have described it. And bear in mind that constantly seeking reassurance or solutions from outsiders is just a way of feeding your own anxiety and feelings of powerlessness. Until you accept that YOU are in control of your anxiety and YOU must develop the skills I have listed above, you will always feel weak.