Help help: I think I might need help.

This post left anonymously

I think I might need help.

Just this summer, my mother passed away. Or moreover, she set her car on fire while she was still inside. On purpose. Now, my mother was a very spiritual person and when she got sick with bipolar/didn’t take her pills, she would go on tangents about God (haha, I’m an atheist though), one time so badly that she had to be forcefully sent to the local mental health hospital. (Just to give you an idea, one day she very seriously told me Jesus had possessed her left side, and one other time she brought me into the middle of the house and locked all the doors and windows and wouldn’t let me leave for school the next morning.)

But the fact still stands: she bought a gas can, lit the wick, and set her car on fire. But apparently there was an SUV following her (I met the girl driving, she said mom was driving crazy so she started following her) and I remember mom talking about how these dudes in SUVs were following her.

Anyway, mom drove her burning car right into the river and went to the burn unit in Toronto. She came out of a coma and said that she didn’t know why she did it, and then later on she fell back into a coma and passed on.
It was a little more traumatic than that.

The love of her life didn’t show up to her funeral and the aunt I was staying with while mom was hurt ended up robbing my mother blind, and now that all is said and done I’m left with all sorts of questions: did I treat my mom well enough, does she know I loved her, is she proud of me…

I don’t know any of those, and now I’ll never, ever have a chance to ask her or to redeem myself.

So I guess my question is: do you think I need help?

This open post was written 2 months, 2 weeks ago | V/U/S: 108, 2, 3 | Edit Post | Leave a reply | Report Post

Reciprocity (0)

Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last 4 days.

Post Tags (3)

Help, bipolar, mother (How Tags Affect Reciprocity)

Replies (2)

Where were you?

Click and drag to move the map around. FAQ: How we place people on this map »
You can also watch events on Help.com as they happen

Mouse over the map for 2 seconds to see an expanded, interactive view

ModestMouse 0 #
An Undisclosed Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (9 minutes after post)

Do I think you need “help” in the sense that your mother needed help? No. Do I think you need someone to talk to, yes. Support for those who are related or friends of the mentally ill is just as important as the mentally ill themselves seeking help.
Maybe there is something you can do now to show your love for you mother. Donate you time or money to those affected by mental illness. Or if she loved animals do somthing in that reguards. I hope you find this usefull.

Help me with: If you could run away to anywhere in the world and do anything you wanted…..what would it be?

mz.mo 30 #
An Unknown Location | 2 months, 2 weeks ago (24 minutes after post)

I’m sorry for your pain, and loss. I am not a Dr., but I can tell you that you have no reason to need redeem yourself. You didnt do anything wrong. Your mom was mentally sick. If you want to tell her how you feel talk to her, write her a letter. it doesnt make you crazy by doing those things it helps you release emotions, get things out of your mind/heart. I’ve done it with friends that have passed and it helped me. I have also gone and spoken to a 3rd party someone outside of my circle, it also helps to just have someone listen that isnt connected, that doesnt have preconceived notions

So not really answering your question but if you feel like you need help theres nothing wrong with seeking it.

Help me with: This morning as I awoke from a dream

Invite Others to Help

A logged in and verified Help.com member has the ability to setup a Friends List and invite others to help with posts.

Help help: I think I might need help. - Help.com

I think I might need help.

Reciprocity (0)

Post Tags (3)

Replies (2)

Invite Others to Help

Help.com Homepage