advice help: I need advice for a friend that has had problems their whole life. - Help.com

Probably not. Your friend is almost an adult, and needs to grow up and make his own decisions. In most families it would be time for an intervention, but in this case there’s really no one but you.

The best thing is to talk to your friend. Just talk. And then listen. Really, really listen. If he wants help, he’ll ask. And if he does, then you can go with him to his guardians and school counsellor. But if he tells you to butt out, then do that.

No one can be helped ’till they’re ready and willing to help themselves.

In the meantime, don’t let his problems start screwing up your life. Keep your boundaries stiff, don’t enable his problems -don’t give him money for beer or rides to parties or cover for him when he’s not taking care of his responsibilities. You can be his friend, but you can’t be his parent or his savior.

Yeah I see what you mean. Thats why Im on here asking everyone what I should do. The only thing to this story is yes, Im the only one there right now and he has never had a family to go to so he kinda just does things to get things off his mind. And another thing, I would love to talk to him about it but he doesnt really talk to me now that hes going through a hard time and is out partying to numb his pain. Im just worried and I think if I was to talk to his school’s councelor then maybe he could talk to him and see if he can get him to seek help before he is grown and is out on his own and can really **** his life up. Thanks for the advice, its good to get on here and talk to people about this.

And another thing, I would love to talk to him about it but he doesnt really talk to me now that hes going through a hard time and is out partying to numb his pain

That’s your cue not to talk. Just listen. When he’s ready to face his troubles, he’ll be more willing to open up to you if you haven’t pushed on him.

if you care about him that much and don’t expect that he’ll help himself, yeah i think you should talk to the counsellor. just make sure you remain anonymous i guess. so your friend won’t push you further away.