I need an opinion. - Help.com

Well, I dont think you can conclude too much from one thing, but if you have a lot of different things building up then you should try and discuss your concerns, and if he isnt someone you can discuss things with then its never gonna be a good relationship and you’d be wasting time and should do something better

It depends on how he asked; the emotions behind it and ect. A concerned boy friend may genuinely want to know what your up to rather than being possessive. The situation is a bit out of the ordinary and it would promot most people to ask such a question.

I’m a little bit confused too. If he was wondering where you’re going that’s a good thing cuz he was just checking up on you and maybe a little curious what you were up to?

Currently, you think he might want to break up with you? For a second lets just look at what you’re feeling….Do you still want this relationship?

Apart..from those issues (I’m dealing with a professionals opinion & handling that (communication))…is it okay for someone to almost worriedly so ask where you are going like that? It was as if he doesn’t think I do anything without him..or was worried I was going to a guys house or something. Or is that a healthy thing to do or want to find out? I guess..if you were in his shoes..would you have called to see where your loved one was going? Or would you just assume something simple and not worry?

Sounds like he’s insecure and was just checking up on you.

He almost sounded confused & panicked. I didn’t see the big deal..there were things I didn’t get done earlier because he needed my help..so when we were done..I was gonna get my own things done. His call almost seemed worried..

Theresa - yes I still want this relationship. I would elaborate..but it is so complex and I’ve been discussing it so much lately..I’m spent talking about it. Sorry!

I really just wanted an opinion on this particular incident..isolated from the rest.

Also..he has been ******** & complaining all night about needing to get some things done later that night. And then when I told him I was going to the store he was like “Why didn’t you tell me? You could of made me stop.” I was nice..just told him I didn’t want to keep him from his chores and was gonna do all this earlier anyways..

If I spent all night with my loved one, and then dropped her off, and she got into her car and drove next to me for a while and then went one way and I the other; than yes I think I would be curious enough to want to address the situation and most likely it would come out as “where did you go” or something like that. It would not have been in a possessive manner or worried manner. It would have most likely been in an amused manner.

I would find it odd. I would have expected an off hand remark somewhere along the line about having to go to the store. Or I would expect my loved one to ask me to come to the store with her so she wouldn’t have to go alone and we where already driving in the car.

Loved one, ha - he doesn’t love me..or so he said! :) After nearly a year of treating me more seriously than I’ve ever been treated! Sorry..just had to vent! :)

Thanks for sharing your perspective, appreciated.

Why didn’t you ask him to take you to the store? Part of being in a real relationship is that you don’t have to be “nice” by keeping things like “I have to go to the store” to your self.

It almost sounds as if you are also insecure about things.

Because he kept talking about feeling guilty for being out to dinner instead of at home studying for an exam. It wouldn’t even occur to me to ask also..partly because we are independent people with our own lives separate from one another. Why should he have to spend valuable time at a store with me when he has things to do? He doesn’t need to go to the store for anything, I do. It honestly didn’t occur to me to tell him or ask. But yes, I am incredibly insecure as well.

Although it is true…he is always asking me for favors. And always asking me to stop places when we are out & I am driving. I just don’t do the same normally. But I also don’t think he would have the same patience for it. He is pretty self-centered and will downplay my wants & needs..

“Why should he have to spend valuable time at a store with” you? ]

because that is what a relationship is. Why be in a relatinship if you dont want to spend valuable time with the other person.

Because he will/I will make myself feel guilty for asking for such a thing. He would of said something that would’ve made me feel bad..like mentioning how he should be studying…or telling what I needed was stupid or something..that is just how it goes. Not sure who is at fault..but that’s the way it is.

But maybe I need to learn not to take him & his comments, actions, so personally? How do you do that?

But maybe I need to learn not to take him & his actions/comments so personally? How do I do that?

Sorry..it didn’t show the first one posted, so I posted again! :)

Normally tell you “hmmm i need to be studding” when you ask “can we go to the store” is not about being mean, or trying to make you feel guilty. Its part of being in an honest relationship.

You “I need to go to the store”
He “I need to be studding”

and than you compromise.

If its not really a big deal about you going to the store, than you compromise by letting him go study “Ok, I understand you need to be studding. I’ll go to the store after you drop me off”

If you do want to spend more time with him than you say “I know you need to study, how about you take me to the store and I’ll give you a great big Kiss in return”

It really does sound like the two of you have communication problems and its not all his fault. You need to be more open and assertive.

Thanks.